Local Weirdos

[VladimirIlyich]

35 minutes ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

Was he harranging the dog about the best crisps, Findus pancakes or who can wear a tank top the best?

 

I guess the poor dog was the 'care' in the 'community' that we were all told about. To be fair, for a low paid Serco employee, the dog obviously stuck to his task.

He did actually wear a tank top too,now you mention it and the typical strange trait of a white or checked shirt with the top button fastened but with no tie.

[General Dryness]

4 hours ago, Elite said:

Johnny Welly is St. Helens finest. He's as mad as a box of frogs and verbally abused me countless times for nothing but he's great. Real character.

 

 

You'd have to really make an effort to stand out as a headcase in St Helen's.

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Remmie said:

Shitting mumra, all the bizarre slang and terminology you come out with and you don't know beer coat, you, you, you....errrr coat hanger. 

Err about 11 sir 

[Harry Squatter]

Just seen today that the Brooke pub in Crosby and a fee nearby buildings have been demolished to make way for flats.

 

One of the buildings used to belong to a coal merchant and scrap metal dealer who was a weird scary bastard.

 

He used to have a horse and cart because he never wanted to buy a van because he was a tight arse cunt. He used to wear all black and look like he never had a wash. He would regularly get into arguments with motorists and threaten them when they accused him of holding traffic up. As he was an ironmonger most of them cant speak properly and just shout complete gibberish down the road. We took the piss out of him and he threatened to kill us and throw us in a furnace in his shop. Not nice when you are 10!

 

My Dad said not to mess with him as he knew two people who had their cars smashed up by horses kicking their doors in or woke up to find a mountain of horse shit over their bonnet. 

[Harry Squatter]

Another weirdo was a barber who had a shop next to the Oak pub in Crosby. He looked like Brian Little the former Aston Villa manager. He was a bit odd as he was in his late fifties but would always be hanging round with girls in their late teens and early twenties buying them drinks all night but never shagging any of them. 

 

He would drink a lot even when his shop was open. A few people claimed to have seen him at the end of the day bruising all the hair up from the shop floor but doing it completely naked.

[Section_31]

Was loads of weirdos used to come into spoons when I worked there. "Shit in a bag man", some bloke used to shit in a Morrisons bag and stick it down the side of the bog. He looked like Eddie Large and would come to the bar and go: "Oooh, oooh!! PINT of Spitfire PLEEEAAASE!!!

[easytoslip]

9 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Just seen today that the Brooke pub in Crosby and a fee nearby buildings have been demolished to make way for flats.

 

One of the buildings used to belong to a coal merchant and scrap metal dealer who was a weird scary bastard.

 

He used to have a horse and cart because he never wanted to buy a van because he was a tight arse cunt. He used to wear all black and look like he never had a wash. He would regularly get into arguments with motorists and threaten them when they accused him of holding traffic up. As he was an ironmonger most of them cant speak properly and just shout complete gibberish down the road. We took the piss out of him and he threatened to kill us and throw us in a furnace in his shop. Not nice when you are 10!

 

My Dad said not to mess with him as he knew two people who had their cars smashed up by horses kicking their doors in or woke up to find a mountain of horse shit over their bonnet. 

I just about remember the Brooke from years ago, the things these loons would say to kids. On this Litherland site I go on someone put up a picture of Jim the peg leg parky in Litherland Park saying who nice he was, I know we made his life hell but there's no need to tell us to fuck off home and watch your mum and dad shagging, he was a weirdo as most parky's were then. 

[littletedwest]

1 hour ago, Doctor Troy said:

Another weirdo was a barber who had a shop next to the Oak pub in Crosby. He looked like Brian Little the former Aston Villa manager. He was a bit odd as he was in his late fifties but would always be hanging round with girls in their late teens and early twenties buying them drinks all night but never shagging any of them. 

 

He would drink a lot even when his shop was open. A few people claimed to have seen him at the end of the day bruising all the hair up from the shop floor but doing it completely naked.

So what was odd about him again?

[Harry Squatter]

Went past the Baltic triangle the other day in the car. I ended up having to go on a graduate training course there when I was unemployed. Basically it was designed to get us jobs as soon as possible and use the facilities to apply for as many jobs as possible. 

 

Most of the people were sound but there was one complete and utter mentalist on the course who everyone stayed away from. He looked like Conor McGregor but had Cerebral Palsy and swore a lot.

 

I got in late one day and the only seat available was next to him. Felt sorry for him because people didn't talk to him. After talking to him for 5 minutes he told me about all the scallies he'd beaten up or stabbed in Toxteth where he lived. He then said "you thhhiiinnkk iiiimm lying dont yer?". I said why would he lie then he reached into his seventies sports bag and pulled out a massive kitchen knife. Fucking shit myself, as soon as it was lunchtime I went and told the tutor who thought that he was just lying as he kept telling tall stories every day. 

 

There was another southern lad on the course who was openly gay and wore pink shirts, he was more camp than that BBC weatherman. All I heard all day is the guy shout "you're ffffuuucckkking bent" every time he sat near him. I again told the tutor that he was mentally unstable.  They then searched his bag and found the knife. He lost the plot and said that he needed it for protection because loads of scalls would target him because he was disabled and couldn't walk properly. 

 

He didn't come back after that but we later found out that he got a job at a marketing company starting on 35 grand. Maybe he was like Kevin Spacey in the Usual Suspects. 

 

 

 

 

[easytoslip]

6 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

Went past the Baltic triangle the other day in the car. I ended up having to go on a graduate training course there when I was unemployed. Basically it was designed to get us jobs as soon as possible and use the facilities to apply for as many jobs as possible. 

 

Most of the people were sound but there was one complete and utter mentalist on the course who everyone stayed away from. He looked like Conor McGregor but had Cerebral Palsy and swore a lot.

 

I got in late one day and the only seat available was next to him. Felt sorry for him because people didn't talk to him. After talking to him for 5 minutes he told me about all the scallies he'd beaten up or stabbed in Toxteth where he lived. He then said "you thhhiiinnkk iiiimm lying dont yer?". I said why would he lie then he reached into his seventies sports bag and pulled out a massive kitchen knife. Fucking shit myself, as soon as it was lunchtime I went and told the tutor who thought that he was just lying as he kept telling tall stories every day. 

 

There was another southern lad on the course who was openly gay and wore pink shirts, he was more camp than that BBC weatherman. All I heard all day is the guy shout "you're ffffuuucckkking bent" every time he sat near him. I again told the tutor that he was mentally unstable.  They then searched his bag and found the knife. He lost the plot and said that he needed it for protection because loads of scalls would target him because he was disabled and couldn't walk properly. 

 

He didn't come back after that but we later found out that he got a job at a marketing company starting on 35 grand. Maybe he was like Kevin Spacey in the Usual Suspects. 

 

 

 

 

After seeing the knife my eyes and thoughts would of been firmly fixed on him, I couldn't of concentrated. 

Weird he got a job, must of gone through a complete character change like they do in the soaps, then again he might of just got better. 

[VladimirIlyich]

43 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

After seeing the knife my eyes and thoughts would of been firmly fixed on him, I couldn't of concentrated. 

Weird he got a job, must of gone through a complete character change like they do in the soaps, then again he might of just got better. 

He's probably Managing Director by now considering most of them are cycle paths themselves.

[Elite]

3 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

He's probably Managing Director by now considering most of them are cycle paths themselves.

 

[halewood pete]

On 20/11/2020 at 19:53, Dougie Do'ins said:

Anyone heard the town crier lately ? The woman usually walking round town begging for money by wailing her woes. Used to hear her on Old Hall Street at least once a week.  

Saw her just before Christmas sat outside ,moorefields railway station,old hall st entrance /exit.A bit unsettling first thing in the morning 

[Harry Squatter]

Saw her yesterday lurking round by Pret A Manger at the end of Castle Street. 

 

Some fella came out and had bought her a Latte. She still asked him for money after thanking him. 

[Elite]

23 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Saw her yesterday lurking round by Pret A Manger at the end of Castle Street. 

 

Some fella came out and had bought her a Latte. She still asked him for money after thanking him. 

Homeless people and addicts should do telesales. They are unashamedly persistent, which isn't always a bad trait.

[Harry Squatter]

5 minutes ago, Elite said:

Homeless people and addicts should do telesales. They are unashamedly persistent, which isn't always a bad trait.

Or those charity workers who guilt trip everyone into giving more money.

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, Doctor Troy said:

Or those charity workers who guilt trip everyone into giving more money.

I've repped you to offset the inevitable neg that you're going to get off AoT. 

[Harry Squatter]

16 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

I've repped you to offset the inevitable neg that you're going to get off AoT. 

Sound.

 

I had one last year at my door for 20 minutes arguing with me saying I should be able to increase the donation I made since 2004 by 20 quid. The twat virtually demanded my bank details.

[Elite]

12 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Sound.

 

I had one last year at my door for 20 minutes arguing with me saying I should be able to increase the donation I made since 2004 by 20 quid. The twat virtually demanded my bank details.

Just tell them to fuck off or ask them to forgo their commission.

[Harry Squatter]

1 minute ago, Elite said:

Just tell them to fuck off or ask them to forgo their commission.

I told him to fuck off about 20 times. I was reaching for the hammer in the hallway before he finally got the message.

[Bruce Spanner]

https://www.vice.com/en/article/nn934d/spitman-full

 

 

This'll raise a wry, what the absolute fuck?

 

Enjoy.

[Section_31]

On 20/11/2020 at 11:48, Section_31 said:

There's a bloke lives at the back of us and he uses a jet washer on his patio, but when he does he wears those fly fisherman's dungarees that go right up to your shoulders. About this time of year he always burns bushes in his back garden for some reason, but he waits until it's night time and does it while wearing a miner's headlamp. 

 

Bloke over the road often sits in his car reading the paper. Suspect he hates his wife, but he literally just sits there for half an hour reading the paper. 

 

When I was a kid there was a bloke called 'Harry' lived in our close. His curtain nets were always dirty and his garden overgrown. Kids would just play in there and it was sort of a mark of bravery that 'Harry' might come out and chase you with a spade or something. He never did, in fact in the best part of 15 years - I never actually saw 'Harry'. 

Fish wanker has been burning his bushes at the back again, but has waited until a heatwave to do it so none of us can open our windows, fucking Moses ass motherfucker.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

Fish wanker has been burning his bushes at the back again, but has waited until a heatwave to do it so none of us can open our windows, fucking Moses ass motherfucker.

He's on a wind up that fucker. I bet he absolutely hates everyone on the planet. 

[Mike D]

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/naked-man-spotted-riding-bike-21087497

[Section_31]

14 minutes ago, Mike D said:

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/naked-man-spotted-riding-bike-21087497

Those stories always sum up the difference between men and women, if there was a police report about a naked woman on a bike we'd all be down there with our binoculars.