Local Weirdos

[Harry Squatter]

1 hour ago, Tony Moanero said:

I used to live opposite an attractive middle-aged woman who did the gardening dressed up to the nines - high heels, everything. 

Any pics?

[Harry Squatter]

This fella used to be on every train between southport and town for years protesting about smokers. Think his wife died of lung cancer. You could barely understand him as he was from Italy and his English wasn't very good.

[Harry Squatter]

A fella at the bottom of my old road used to go out all day checking public telephones. He was the spit of Michael Fish the weatherman. My Dad said his mate had worked with him for BT but the fella had been sacked for poor timekeeping after his wife and kids had left him. Even though it was 7 years previously he still went out every day checking phones. Whenever we went out in the car we spotted him everywhere, even as far as Brunswick station. 

[easytoslip]

8 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

 I remember when I lived in Crosby there was some scruffy cunt with long grey hair called Tanner. Tom Ross might have seen him at some point as Tanner was a celebrity round Crosby. 

 

Basically Tanner was a bus driver but loved drinking, he crashed a bus once into the building at the bottom of South Road, luckily when no one was on board. He got the sack and continued on his downward spiral of drinking. 

 

He would wander round Crosby absolutely smashed off a bottle or two of whisky and no one had ever seen him sober. He looked like a cross between Uncle Peter from Vic Reeves and Jimmy Saville and wore the same Tartan bomber jacket for years plus he stuck of piss. 

 

Tanner loved fighting but the bad news for him was that he wasn't very good at it and would get filled in regularly. He would take on anyone from school kids to sted heads. 

 

I was on the bus in South Road once when he got on and started pointing at people, he decided to point at some fella in overalls and start calling him a cunt, this fella knocked him out and picked him up to throw him onto the back seat. The driver then had to get him off the bus. As soon as Tanner was off the bus he spewed up everywhere at the bus stop which was crowded and everyone dispersed. 

 

I am surprised he didn't have a go at me as I had blasted a footy at his head when he was bladdered in Coronation Park a few years earlier.

 

About two years after the bus incident i was in Mcdonalds in Moor Lane post pub with a load of people and in walks Tanner shitfaced. He did his usual pointing and swearing at people in the queue but everyone just laughed at him. He then went over to 5 grocks sitting down and smacked a drink out of one of their hands and it went all over his white t shirt. Next thing I heard was a loud scream as all 5 were laying into him. The McDonalds manager had to come out and do his Mills Lane impression saying he had enough. Tanner walked out with a broken nose and a badly cut face. 

 

I think he died in the mid nineties, not sure whether someone battered him or his liver packed in. 

Sounds like a right loon, is Coronation Park the one with the meteorite on it? Haven't been around there for about 25 years, I think there's a pub with the same name  there too. 

A few mates, all from Litherland, drink down South Rd and hopefully I'll get down there for a pint when all this shit ease off. 

[Captain Howdy]

9 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

This fella used to be on every train between southport and town for years protesting about smokers. Think his wife died of lung cancer. You could barely understand him as he was from Italy and his English wasn't very good.

Yep, I remember him

[Jurgens Red Army]

9 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

This fella used to be on every train between southport and town for years protesting about smokers. Think his wife died of lung cancer. You could barely understand him as he was from Italy and his English wasn't very good.

Remember him when I worked in Bootle would see him all the time, yeah think his wife died.

[Harry Squatter]

4 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

Sounds like a right loon, is Coronation Park the one with the meteorite on it? Haven't been around there for about 25 years, I think there's a pub with the same name  there too. 

A few mates, all from Litherland, drink down South Rd and hopefully I'll get down there for a pint when all this shit ease off. 

Yeah he was, absolutely mental he was.

 

Yep, that's the one, got a model beating lake as well. 

 

Yeah, better than Moor Lane which is completely dead these days.

[Harry Squatter]

I used to go to John Moores Uni on Mount Pleasant and would have to walk up from Central station. Every so often there was an old woman in her eighties who would stand in Lewis's shop doorway having a piss whilst lifting her skirt up in full view of everyone walking past. 

 

The security guards would always have to move her on and the cleaners would be out in force mopping the piss up. Only for her to come back and do it again a few days later.

[Harry Squatter]

36 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

Is Leccy Legs still about? Outside The Blob.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[cloggypop]

22 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

This fella used to be on every train between southport and town for years protesting about smokers. Think his wife died of lung cancer. You could barely understand him as he was from Italy and his English wasn't very good.

No Smoking Man. Can't remember seeing him on the train but you'd see him pushing his No Smoking bike around everywhere. Never once saw him riding it. 

[easytoslip]

2 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

 

 

 

Haha, nuts. 

[cloggypop]

Anyone else ever meet the sock perverts? I met them a couple of times in the Black Horse & Rainbow in town. They never got my socks but they did get my mate's. 

 

https://www.southportvisiter.co.uk/southport-perverts-who-swindled-thousands-9250839#ICID=sharebar_twitter

[Harry Squatter]

6 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

No Smoking Man. Can't remember seeing him on the train but you'd see him pushing his No Smoking bike around everywhere. Never once saw him riding it. 

Yeah, he would always get on at Sandhills for some bizarre reason with his bike. He got into a massive argument with a couple of scallies who kept offering him ciggies to wind him up. 

[tokyojoe]

There was a bloke who lived near me when I was about 15. Used to push his wife along in a wheelchair. Then one day she came along pushing him.

 

He also had this little mutt, probably a Jack Russell or something. He walked past us with said dog on lead, suddenly jerked him back and said something like 'come on rover, you've already killed many a man.

 

Total fruitcake.

[Harry Squatter]

When I was a kid we used to play footy on the field at the bottom of my road. There were a load of houses that faced onto the field. One woman in particular absolutely hated kids. She had a big massive bulbous head and used to drive a green VW beetle everywhere. She was known locally as the Mekon. 

 

Every time we played footy she would phone the bizzies despite the fact that we were doing nothing wrong. She stopped us outside our house once saying she hoped we all slipped over whilst playing footy and smashed our heads open. Bit unnerving when you're only ten. My Mum had a go at her and then she made up some story that we were trying to kill her dog, even though it never left the house. 

 

She died about 6 years later and can remember the neighbours saying that absolutely no one went to her funeral.

[Bjornebye]

The world is a better place with these type of weirdos in it. 

[magicrat]

1 hour ago, Doctor Troy said:

There's a lad over the road from me who looks like a fat Dean Gaffney but never speaks. When you let on to him he just moves his head slightly and looks at you like one of those creatures out of the beast master who have no mouths. 

 

Walks everywhere and always seems to end up in random peoples houses. When I've walked back from the station I've seen him coming out of about 10 different houses but never speaking to any of the people there. 

 

His sister is a big fat mess who is always on the phone giving people grief but he just walks slowly behind her in shorts even if it is the middle of winter. Both are in their late twenties and have never worked.

Having met Dean Gaffney sounds about right 

[magicrat]

56 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

Cherry Blossom is now Donald Trump’s personal lawyer. 

Do they make orange polish ? 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, magicrat said:

Having met Dean Gaffney sounds about right 

He used to go clubbing in Portsmouth years ago. Should have seen the skirt he'd have drinking with him and some leave with. Unreal. 

[magicrat]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

He used to go clubbing in Portsmouth years ago. Should have seen the skirt he'd have drinking with him and some leave with. Unreal. 

I met him at a birthday bash in London years ago. He just tagged along with a mate with who had been invited. Knew no-one there and kept butting into conversations to talk about himself . Fucking annoying thick wanker . 

[Harry Squatter]

10 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

He used to go clubbing in Portsmouth years ago. Should have seen the skirt he'd have drinking with him and some leave with. Unreal. 

He hangs around with Omar the porn star. 

 

I went to some shit bar in South Road called Esperantos which is just a meat market. Saw him, Omar and Phil Mitchell all in there together on the prowl.

[Harry Squatter]

3 hours ago, manwiththestick said:

There's this big black fella who used to approach us when we were kids asking to feel our muscles, not sure if that classes as weird.

 

[JohnnyH]

If I can’t identify a local weirdo, does that make me.......the........

[Pidge]

2 hours ago, skaro said:

 

Was probably the name-change from the Captain Cook.

Right next to a rail bridge?

 

 

Up on Uxbridge road, a bit rough but not really because the police station was around the corner.

[Bjornebye]

There's a fella running round Stavenger with 72 heads.