Premier League Round Up (Oct 17-19 2020)

[tlw content]

After what happened at Goodison I just wanted to forget all about football for a while and so I completely switched off until we played Ajax. I had no interest in anything else that was happening and as a result of that I’m now watching Match of the Day with genuinely no clue on how half the games finished. 

 

It’s quite refreshing actually. Now I might become one of those fucking weirdos the newsreaders refer to when they say “If you don’t want to know today’s scores then look away now”. 

 

Every time that happens I say “if you’re a footy fan how would you not know the fucking scores?” and yet here I am, not having a clue because David Coote, Michael Oliver, Jordan Pickford and that Richarlison cunt completely ruined the weekend and made me want to avoid footy like the plague.

 

I knew City and United both won, but that’s it. Oh wait, I also knew what happened at Spurs too as I saw that tweet from a Spurs fan that everyone (including Declan Rice!) took the piss out of. I’ll get to that in a bit though.

 

I had no idea how any of the other games finished because as soon as the derby finished that was me zoned out completely. I don’t want to even watch them now to be honest as I’m still seething about Saturday and I know there’ll be things in every game that will remind me about it in some way. But I’m a pro and you’re expecting your weekly round up, so I’m gritting my teeth and plowing through it.

 

MOTD actually started with the derby so I had to forward that as there’s no way I want to see any of that shit again. I don’t even want to know what the pundits said about it as chances are it’ll just piss me off even more, especially if they’re talking bollocks. Even if they nailed it though, it’s not going to improve my mood. 

 

We know what happened and we know the cunts involved all got away scot free. Except Richarlison I suppose, although his punishment won’t fit the crime and we’ve already had Thiago ruled out for one game and possibly more to follow.

 

Anyway, I’ll start at St James’ Park where Newcastle really ought to be embarrassed after losing 4-1 to that Man United team. No Martial or Greenwood and they still scored four. It says far more about Newcastle that though, because that United team was genuinely turd. 

 

Fred and McTominay in midfield. Mata and James playing on the flanks. It had the mediocre stench of a lot of the teams we fielded during that 30 year title drought. Like a final throws of Houllier / Rafa / Rodgers era line up *insert puking emoji*

 

Newcastle have been shite so far though. They made some decent signings but seem to have somehow gotten worse. Now and again you see them and think ‘they’ve got something going on here’ and then they shit the bed like this. 

 

They probably miss their home crowd as much as anyone really. Obviously we miss a packed Anfield but we’ve generally coped with it due to the quality in the side. The likes of Newcastle and Palace get great home support and let’s face it, they need it. 

 

They actually took the lead early on when fat Luke Shaw deflected a cross into his own net, but that was as good as it got for the Toon. Portuguese Gylfi thought he’d equalised but Mata was offside. Maguire then did equalise but it needed a great save by De Gea to prevent Wilson restoring the Geordies lead before the inevitable penalty arrived. Honestly, they get one every fucking game. It’s incredible. It probably was a pen, albeit a very soft one. 

 

Rashford was going nowhere and had lost the ball as he was kicked. It’s like most of the ones they get. It’s not so much that they clearly aren’t penalties (unless it’s Jon Moss producing them out of thin air), it’s just that nobody else seems to consistently get them kind of decisions. We all get them now and again but they get them every fucking week.

 

We have at least the same number of these incidents in the box as they do but we rarely get pens for them. With United it’s like every appeal they have results in that horrible little cunt Fernandes doing his shitty little hop, skip and jump pen and adding to his completely misleading goal tally that suggests he’s far better than he is. All the hype he’s getting? Sigurdsson would have that too if Everton got the same amount of pens as United. And if Sigurdsson hadn’t been dropped for being shit.

 

Only this time Fernandes missed. You can credit me with the assist there for reverse jinxing him the other week. Not that it mattered because the Mancs hit three late goals to put a completely undeserved gloss on the result as Newcastle fell apart. They even allowed Wan-Bissaka to score. Fucking hell.

 

They won in Paris again too in midweek. I didn’t watch that (I mean why would I?) but I can’t say I was surprised because PSG look seriously average this year and haven’t started the season well at all. 

 

Of course United got another pen, that almost goes without saying. They’re like the reverse Burnley. What must poor Sean Dyche think every time those cunts are given a pen. Burnley have had one pen in the last ten years (I may be slightly overstating that, but not much) but these fuckers are getting one (sometimes two when Jon Moss is around) every three days.

 

 

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[alles ist gut]

Top, top tennis analysis there, Dave.

[StevieMax]

Top Micah Richards spreading his largesse around analysis as well, Dave

[DalyanPete]

But I’m a pro and you’re expecting your weekly round up, so I’m gritting my teeth and plowing through it.

Yea, you are, yea I was, thanks.

Brilliant as always in an arse licking sort of way

[Anubis]

Villa jacked up on four sets of bricks after last night.

[rb14]

On 23/10/2020 at 16:40, tlw content said:

I’ve never been the touchy feely type 

No shit Sherlock. 

[dave u]

On 24/10/2020 at 08:58, Anubis said:

Villa jacked up on four sets of bricks after last night.

 

I reverse jinxed them good.

 

On 25/10/2020 at 08:33, rb14 said:

No shit Sherlock. 

 

Now that's not fair, I always give you a hug when I see you (on the rare occasions you can be arsed leaving corporate hospitality to come and mix with us commoners). Unless you're expecting more?