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What is the most dangerous thing in your house?

Stouffer

By Stouffer,
in GF - General Forum

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chrisbonnie Grand Master

chrisbonnie

Posted
Posted

My 1 1/2 year old daughter. 

 

They say boys are wild, well we've a little boy to, just gone 5 and he was never as wild or dangerous as the little girl. She climbs everything, you turn your back for a minute and she's up on the table jumping up and down. Her new thing is jumping off the bottom two steps on the stairs. You know, just for shits and giggles. 

 

She constantly has bruises on her legs from all the mischief she gets up to, and has had more black eyes than Ricky Hatton from running into things. 

 

 

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Kevin D Grand Master

Kevin D

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Carradona said:

Our open fire in the sitting room where our 4 year old and 6 year old kids are constantly kicking footballs and throwing eachother around.

 

You know you've been riding the forum too long when Carradona now has two kids.

 

 

 

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tokyojoe Grand Master

tokyojoe

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

My cat. In the mornings. Sat steadfast on the top stair. Goading me. Twat.

One of our moggies does that. Little cow sits in the most awkward position possible on the stairs so you have to be a bloody contortionist to clamber over her.

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Bob Grand Master

Bob

Posted
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25 minutes ago, tokyojoe said:

One of our moggies does that. Little cow sits in the most awkward position possible on the stairs so you have to be a bloody contortionist to clamber over her.

And then decides it’s time to move in any number of directions just as you’re stepping over it?

 

cats are absolute arseholes, only surpassed in their commitment to irritate their owners by fucking rabbits.

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Evelyn Tentions Grand Master

Evelyn Tentions

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Chocoholic said:

Argos catalogue. Have you felt the weight of one of those fuckers? 

 

Here's a scenario: The annoying neighbour comes round, spouting shite, I could smash him over the the head with the Argos, (wrapped in a disposable plastic bag, just in case) make sure he's well done for. Drag him back round to his, call the Police, and be casually thumbing through the murder weapon when I open the door to them, and they'd never suspect a thing.

Hitchcock playhouse had a wife kill her husband with a frozen leg of lamb which she defrosted and cooked. Gave the detectives a roast dinner.

"Who knows, the murder weapon could be right under our noses"

Saw it about 60 years ago, still remember it!

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Mudface Grand Master

Mudface

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

Hitchcock playhouse had a wife kill her husband with a frozen leg of lamb which she defrosted and cooked. Gave the detectives a roast dinner.

"Who knows, the murder weapon could be right under our noses"

Saw it about 60 years ago, still remember it!

That was a Tales of the Unexpected episode too. Susan George could hit me with what she likes-

 

 

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ZonkoVille77 Grand Master

ZonkoVille77

Posted
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9 hours ago, chrisbonnie said:

My 1 1/2 year old daughter. 

 

They say boys are wild, well we've a little boy to, just gone 5 and he was never as wild or dangerous as the little girl. She climbs everything, you turn your back for a minute and she's up on the table jumping up and down. Her new thing is jumping off the bottom two steps on the stairs. You know, just for shits and giggles. 

 

She constantly has bruises on her legs from all the mischief she gets up to, and has had more black eyes than Ricky Hatton from running into things. 

 

 

 

I think it's just the 2nd child. The first always seems to be calm and placid. The 2nd is just off their fucking head the minute they wake up.

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Mudface Grand Master

Mudface

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Just now, ZonkoVille77 said:

 

I think it's just the 2nd child. The first always seems to be calm and placid. The 2nd is just off their fucking head the minute they wake up.

Definitely the case with our two. Strangely, the second one has calmed down a lot since he became a teenager, much fewer strops.

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Bjornebye Grand Master

Bjornebye

Posted
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2 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

I've had it years. It's up in the loft not in the drawer in the kitchen though.

Screw that.  I'd have it hung up in the kitchen for when I'm making a roast for her family with a glass of red wine and she's asked if I will carve at the table 

 

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