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Featured: That was the week that was (Sep 26 - Oct 2 2020)

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Saturday Sep 26:

 

Ah fuck off. Alisson is injured AGAIN??? And Thiago too? Actually maybe they aren’t ‘injured’ as it’s all been very sketchy. Usually you’ll hear that there’s a muscle injury or a slight knee problem or whatever, but this has been much more vague than usual. They’re isolating, aren’t they?

 

Meanwhile, there are STILL random reports linking us with Koulibaly. This does my head in as it’s just completely unrealistic. Even Stan Collymore is banging the drum for it and while I understand the argument that him and Van Dijk together would be invincible, if Man City can’t afford to prize him from Napoli then there’s no way we can considering we have no money whatsoever.

 

Even the deals we’ve done have cost us virtually nothing. £5m a year for Thiago and only a £4m down payment this year for Jota. We’ve made that back with sales already. Koulibaly ain’t coming Stan, get over over it.

 

Speaking of Collymore though, I read something about him today that I didn’t know. It was an interview with Tony Warner on some podcast a while back and I stumbled across it online while looking for something else. 

 

Warner had a scrap with Stan on a night out. He said Collymore swung a big heavy chair at his head and he had to block it with his arms or it might have killed him. He then starts swinging and the pair of them hit the floor. According to Warner, all the other players couldn’t stand Collymore so James and Ruddock pinned him down and held down his arms and legs allowing Warner to lay into him. Then Roy Evans arrived to break it up and caught an accidental smack in the mouth.

 

Warner told another story about how Steve Harkness was obsessed with his own shit. This is absolutely fucking mad, and filthy.


“He was always messing around with shit. His own shit. He put it on the door handles in the hotels, especially with the foreign lads.”

 

“We used to stay at a hotel in Waltham Abbey. When you go in there, there’d always be sweets and three or four chocolates next to the bed. I’d always fly in and scoff all the chocolates dead quick. So, one day I’ve walked in and I’ve grabbed the chocolates. Bang! One goes in. Bang! Another goes in. Then there was another one. They usually come wrapped in paper like cupcakes, but this one looks like it had kind of been smeared in.

 

“Do you know what gave him away? An arse hair. Just an arse hair hanging out the shite. At the same time, I’ve picked up on the smell. So, I’ve seen it and thought ‘imagine if that went in my mouth’. I’ve turned around, looked at the door and Harkness is there with his head poked around the corner.

 

“He’s burst off laughing and I’ve legged it after him, shouting ‘I’d have fucking killed you had I have eaten that, I’d have fucking destroyed you’.

 

“I was thinking to myself afterwards that if I’d eaten that shit, that story would’ve followed me around forever. I remember saying to him afterwards: ‘The fucking hiding I’d have had to give you to appease myself… I’d have been ruthless.”

 

Hard to believe we never won anything with that group of players isn’t it? Fucking hell.


Sunday Sep 27:

 

City got whallopped at home by Leicester and it was glorious. It will be covered in extensive detail in this week’s round up so I’ll just focus on the reaction to it rather than the game itself. Because the reaction has been hilarious.    

 

Rodri’s quotes afterwards tell you all you need to know about that team. He sounds like the playground bully who has been unexpectedly punched on the nose:

 

“It is very difficult to explain. When someone knocks you out you are confused and don’t know what happens. Football has not been fair with us. We deserve many things. We prosed many things in the game. We tried many things, they tried two or three things”.

 

It’s called rope a dope you soft twat. Teams will let you come onto them because they know your defense is shite and that any counter attack is likely to end up in a goal. It isn’t ‘difficult to explain’ at all. It’s fucking obvious.

 

“Maybe it is our fault, maybe it is their strength. I am young and try to learn every game but games like this where the opposition do nothing, you are a bit confused. You don’t know what to do.”

 

He doesn’t know what to do. What does that tell you about Guardiola’s coaching? Imagine one of our lads saying something like that? There’s such a stench of entitlement about that club and ironically that’s the thing fucking them up now. “The opposition does nothing” even though they scored five goals. 

 

“For me they are lucky. It is not the way I like to play”. Hahahaha fucking hell, talk about arrogant. They beat you 5-2 you soft cunt. It wasn’t some 1-0 backs to the wall Mourinho-esque shithouse display. THEY SCORED FIVE GOALS!!!

 

It’s the football snobbery of City that is killing them. They think everyone should try to play the way they do and beat them at their own game and they don’t like it when teams use City’s own strength against them. City want the ball so let them have it, let them think they’re in control and then as soon as they lose it, stick it straight up their arrogant tiki taki, FFP dodging cheating arses.

 

Guardiola too, the bald fraud. “Even at 2-5 they settled back with 11 men behind the ball and it so difficult to create chances”. Mate, it only became 2-5 with 88 minutes gone! And of course they got men behind the ball. They were winning, What do you want them to do, all go up front because “Jamie Vardy’s ‘aving a party”. He’s so used to winning that he has no idea how to handle losing. 

 

Meanwhile, Suarez makes his debut for Atletico and scores twice after coming on as a sub. Diego Costa was asked afterwards about how he feels having Suarez as a team-mate and he said. “It’s great. One of us bites and the other kicks.” They’re going to be must watch this season. They’ll probably finish above Barca.

 

 

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Please note that the Week that Was is only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

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