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Colonel Kurtz

Things that used to be shit but are now much better

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We spent last weekend with the mother in law, now in her 70s. Fuck me, she views the past with rose tinted spectacles, everything is going to shit, not like it used it to be, we had the best of this country etc etc. So as a counter to all that nostalgic shit, this is a thread about how some things used to be proper shit but are so much better these days. Here's my 5 :

 

1. Food in pubs - I remember a few manky pies on a hot plate and that was that. 

2. Cars - used to be slow thirsty deathtraps, no air bags, no ABS, we didn't even have seatbelts in the rear seats so in the event of a crash, little kids would be launched at the windscreen at 50 mph from a good couple of feet back. 

3. Televised sport - the days before Sky were awful. 

4. Dentistry - agony. 

5. Pizza - all you could get was some Findus shit. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1. Opening hours (not including the current Covid restrictions).

 

2. Access to porn.

 

3. Sky Q.

 

4. Cheap flights (not including Covid or Freddie Laker).

 

5. It’s possible women could be fitter. It’s also possible my standards are lower. 

 

6. Availability of drugs which help to blackout the fact that, despite some minor improvements, your mother in law is generally right. Most things today are shit. 
 

7. My friends. Although I have exactly the same friends they were way better back in the day. Now they’re just a load of boring fuckers, broken by their womenfolk and the pressure of being a middle aged male. 

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The internet

Sundays... everything was closed and it was the shittest day of the week with terrible tv

Mobile phones. When you think about it they're pretty fucking magical

5G masts. The sooner we're all under control of Soros and Gates the better. I, for one, welcome our new Lizard Overlords

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1 hour ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

We spent last weekend with the mother in law, now in her 70s. Fuck me, she views the past with rose tinted spectacles, everything is going to shit, not like it used it to be, we had the best of this country etc etc. So as a counter to all that nostalgic shit, this is a thread about how some things used to be proper shit but are so much better these days. Here's my 5 :

 

1. Food in pubs - I remember a few manky pies on a hot plate and that was that. 

2. Cars - used to be slow thirsty deathtraps, no air bags, no ABS, we didn't even have seatbelts in the rear seats so in the event of a crash, little kids would be launched at the windscreen at 50 mph from a good couple of feet back. 

3. Televised sport - the days before Sky were awful. 

4. Dentistry - agony. 

5. Pizza - all you could get was some Findus shit. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not having No.3 at all.

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22 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

1. Opening hours (not including the current Covid restrictions).

 

2. Access to porn.

 

3. Sky Q.

 

4. Cheap flights (not including Covid or Freddie Laker).

 

5. It’s possible women could be fitter. It’s also possible my standards are lower. 

 

6. Availability of drugs which help to blackout the fact that, despite some minor improvements, your mother in law is generally right. Most things today are shit. 
 

7. My friends. Although I have exactly the same friends they were way better back in the day. Now they’re just a load of boring fuckers, broken by their womenfolk and the pressure of being a middle aged male. 

Yeah Xhamster beats Eurotrash and Passion Cove that's for sure.

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Supermarket wine. Once it was a grim choice between Blue Nun, Mateus Rose or Black Tower. All shite. If you wanted anything 'exotic' (Like a Rioja) you had to go to Threshers, who'd summarily rape your wallet for being such a ponce as to go in there with your fancy ways. Now you can get some right good shit from Asda for around £6 a bottle.

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6 minutes ago, Mook said:

Not having No.3 at all.

Yup, no.3 is bollocks

The glory of Richie Benaud on the first morning of the First Test

Harry Carpenter and Barry Davies and the great Bill Mclaren not to mention the incomparable Des Lynam

And it was all free to air

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Just now, mattyq said:

Yup, no.3 is bollocks

The glory of Richie Benaud on the first morning of the First Test

Harry Carpenter and Barry Davies and the great Bill Mclaren not to mention the incomparable Des Lynam

And it was all free to air

And the wrestling. Before it was all WWE this and WWF that, it was sweaty truckers from Dudley bouncing off each others beer bellies. The Peoples' Wrestlers.

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1 hour ago, cochyn said:

And the wrestling. Before it was all WWE this and WWF that, it was sweaty truckers from Dudley bouncing off each others beer bellies. The Peoples' Wrestlers.

Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks

Legends

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Drugs, prostitutes, alcohol, cheese selections and pile cream. All with major step changes over the last 30 years. 

 

 

Cars not rusting anymore is a bit of a bonus as well. Gone are the days of filling cars innards with newspaper to bulk them out. 

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2 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

We spent last weekend with the mother in law, now in her 70s. Fuck me, she views the past with rose tinted spectacles, everything is going to shit, not like it used it to be, we had the best of this country etc etc. So as a counter to all that nostalgic shit, this is a thread about how some things used to be proper shit but are so much better these days. Here's my 5 :

 

1. Food in pubs - I remember a few manky pies on a hot plate and that was that. 

2. Cars - used to be slow thirsty deathtraps, no air bags, no ABS, we didn't even have seatbelts in the rear seats so in the event of a crash, little kids would be launched at the windscreen at 50 mph from a good couple of feet back. 

3. Televised sport - the days before Sky were awful. 

4. Dentistry - agony. 

5. Pizza - all you could get was some Findus shit. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I enjoyed terrestrial television’s coverage of the FA Cup Final, the build up, etc. far more than anything that Sky offers. The commentators were better, too.

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3 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

We spent last weekend with the mother in law, now in her 70s. Fuck me, she views the past with rose tinted spectacles, everything is going to shit, not like it used it to be.

Is she on Twitter?

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2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

7. My friends. Although I have exactly the same friends they were way better back in the day. Now they’re just a load of boring fuckers, broken by their womenfolk and the pressure of being a middle aged male.

Realised my No.7 is actually something better in the past, not now.

 

That’s another thing that certainly isn’t better now, my brain. Not that it was ever amazing but it lets me down far more frequently these days.

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1 hour ago, Tony Moanero said:

I enjoyed terrestrial television’s coverage of the FA Cup Final, the build up, etc. far more than anything that Sky offers. The commentators were better, too.

The cup final coverage was good but there was a lot of shit. Saturday afternoons were racing, wrestling from Luton town hall and sometimes athletics. We forget how bad the football coverage was. 

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