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Premier League Round Up (Sep 26-28 2020)

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What a wild weekend that was. Goals galore, upsets, controversies, we had the lot.

 

I’m struggling for the words to sum up what happened at Brighton. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more scandalously undeserved win than that and that’s before I even get into the winning goal that was scored AFTER the final whistle. I’ll get to that penalty incident in due course though.

 

That was without doubt the spawniest win I think I’ve ever seen though. Brighton absolutely fucking murdered them. They scored twice, had numerous other chances and hit the woodwork five times. FIVE FUCKING TIMES!! Has that ever happened before? It’s incredible just how charmed a life the United goal led.

 

Trossard was the first to be denied by the woodwork when his left footer from 18 yards struck the post with De Gea well beaten. He was the second one to be denied by it too, when once again he beat De Gea but struck the upright.

 

I don’t like Trossard but I’m honestly not sure why as I can’t remember him ever doing anything to piss me off. I think it’s his face. He kind of looks like a frog. I know I shouldn’t let something like that define how I think about a person, but what can I say, I’m my mother’s son. She’s hated footballers (i.e. Lallana) for far less than that.

 

He’s a tidy player though is Trossard and one day the above comments might come back to haunt me if he ends up playing for us. 

 

*checks wiki*. 

 

Yeah that’s not happening as he’s 26 in a couple of months. That’s shocked me as I thought he was only a youngster, or if you like, a tadpole. If he was 21 or 22 then he’d probably be on our radar, but this is as good as he’s likely to get.

 

Actually I’ve just realized why I don’t like him. He reminds me of a young Nigel Farage. Not his fault, but now I really can’t stand him.

 

Webster then hit the bar with De Gea again struggling as the onslaught continued. Greenwood thought he’d put United in front with their first attack but a late linesman’s flag curtailed the celebrations and VAR showed that Rashford was offside in the build up.

 

My boy Lamptey was brilliant again. I discovered him you know, not sure I’ve mentioned that before. I saw him playing for Chelsea at our Academy and I told you all to watch out for him in the Diary. You could say he’s the Stevie G to my Gerard Houllier. No-one else knew he was a star, but I did.

 

Seriously though, I think he’s been man of the match every time he’s played for them you know. Every week when I see anything online about Brighton he’s the one getting man of the match. He’s such a fucking handful down that right flank. He’s probably not the best defensively but in a three at the back set up you can compensate for that easily enough.

 

He won the penalty from which Brighton took the lead. I don’t actually think it was a pen to be honest as what is Fernandes supposed to do there? He doesn’t really make a challenge, he’s running toward the ball and Lamptey gets there first and cuts right across him. Clever from Lamptey but I’d be pissed off if a pen was given against one of our players for that as it’s virtually unavoidable.

 

The flip side of this is that Fernandes is the biggest cheat in the league and has won penalties himself for far less than this, so fuck him and fuck United.

 

Maupay took the absolute piss with his penalty. He “Panenka’d” the shit out of it and then milked his celebrations too. Came back to bite him on the arse later on, but I’ll get to that shortly. He dinked this one so softly that De Gea had dived and had time to get back to his feet to watch it cross the line.

 

Lewis Dunk put through his own net to get United level and then we had a moment of real controversy when Connolly was awarded a pen only for VAR to overturn it. Much as I’d like to complain about that, the right decision was made in the end. Pogba has a little pull at Connolly outside the box, but it was nothing really and then Connolly just runs in front of him, grabs hold of Pogba’s shirt and then hurls himself to the floor. 

 

Never a pen in a million years (despite Shearer saying it was, the tit), and Chris Kavanagh reversed his decision after watching the replay. Connolly defo learned that on international duty from Shane Long, as that was right out of Long’s playbook that. Long is just better at it, but then he’s had years of practice.

 

Rashford then thought he’d put United ahead but VAR ruled him offside. Interesting that Sian Massey-Ellis missed that one. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her get a decision wrong before. I’m not being condescending there either, I think she’s fantastic. To be fair, it was a close one and who knows, maybe without VAR she would have taken the initiative and flagged. It’s going to be increasingly difficult judging the linos now with this “don’t put your flag up” directive they’ve been given.

 

Rashford did finally manage to stay onside for once not long after and he raced clear to score a superb goal on the counter attack. That’s what you have to watch out for when you play United as other than winning penalties there’s not really anything else they do well. They can play on the break though as well as anyone so you need to watch that and Brighton didn’t.

 

Connolly then pulled the old Longaroony again, this time on Maguire, but the ref was wise to him now and was having none of it. This one was a slightly more legitimate claim than the one he had earlier but still not enough for a pen.

 

Brighton were peppering the United goal looking for the equaliser and March made it woodwork number four when his shot went across De Gea only to strike the inside of the far post. Then Trossard completed his hat-trick by blasting an effort against the bar. Unbelievable.

 

Trossard then had a great chance from six yards out but toe poked it straight at De Gea. Awful miss that one. That felt like it might have been their last chance but incredibly March popped up at the back post five minutes into stoppage time to head in the equaliser.

 

And that’s when it got REALLY crazy. United went down the other end and won a corner. From that corner Maguire sent a header towards goal but March headed it off the line. The final whistle then sounded, Brighton players congratulated March while Maguire ran to the referee claiming handball.

 

As soon as they showed the replay I knew Brighton were fucked as that was a clear penalty. There have been loads of bullshit handball pens this season but that’s one that you just can’t argue about. Maupay led with his arm and the ball struck his hand. It clearly impacted the flight and power of Maguire’s header and without that touch maybe March can’t clear off the line?

 

But the final whistle had gone, so obviously a lot of people weren’t happy about that. Personally I don’t have any issue with that. The offence happened before the whistle went. The ref hadn’t seen it but if VAR is there to look at things the ref doesn’t see then why should it not be used in this instance?

 

I don’t think Brighton have any cause for complaint there, especially as it’s in the rule book that decisions can be given after the full time whistle if VAR has spotted something. The ref followed protocol and had no choice but to give the penalty.

 

Where Brighton do have plenty of cause for complaint is in the amount of added time played. They were WELL over the allotted amount of injury time, and even allowing for the Brighton goal and the time it took to restart, this was still pure Fergie-time and the whistle should have gone well before the corner was taken.

 

Of course Portuguese Gylfi scored the penalty. That’s all he does, the fucking one trick pony. I don’t think he’ll ever miss one as he’s great at them (it worked with Jorginho so I may as well give it another go). Of all the players at United he’s the one I can’t stand the most. Him and that cunt Maguire.

 

This was United’s strongest line up and they were fucking shite. In fairness, I do think their (brief) involvement in European football at the end of last season is playing a part in how bad they look. Its not just them. Look around Europe and virtually all of the teams who were involved in the CL and Europa knock out games are suffering at the moment. Even Bayern lost 4-1 at the weekend, and that never happens.

 

So that’s part of it, and the United we are seeing currently is not a true reflection of where they’re at. They’re not this bad, unfortunately. Of course they’re not particularly good either.

 

I felt sorry for Brighton but United winning games in this fashion does not bother me. They aren’t a threat to us and while I always enjoy seeing them lose, if it happens too often they’ll eventually see Solskjaer for the “Norwegian Lampard” he is and they might actually appoint someone good. None of us want that to happen, so if it takes some more flukey wins like this to extend Ole’s stay at the wheel then sign me up for it.

 

Final note on this. Rashford wore a mask in his post match interview. Not because he needed to as nobody else does. He’s behind a screen so it’s not necessary at all. He’s obviously done that to set an example and make a point. He’s such a good lad, Manchester United fans should be proud of him. Loads of them aren’t, because Tory Tory Man United.

 

When the cunts are allowed back in they’ll still be singing about unemployment and how “you look in the dustbins for something to eat”. That’s probably why Rashford gets so much shit off his own fans any time he tweets about starving kids. “Fucks sake Marcus, if we get rid poverty and unemployment what are we gonna taunt the scouse bastards with?”.

 

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article

 

Please note that PL Round Ups are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

 

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I thought your mum was a bit harsh with what she said about your dad when you were discussing Coady. 

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Wasn't Coady giving it loads about us and VAR last season ?

 

Dyche has always been a one-eyed arsehole over refereeing decisions and spends the whole 90 minutes of every game growling at the 4th official.

 

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There’s two schools of thought on him. There’s the one that says he’s over-rated, doesn’t do enough and is basically a bit of a fraud. Then there’s the correct thought that says he’s sensational and just needs to be in the right set up with the right team-mates around him and he’d be virtually unplayable. 


One fraudulent forward player defending another.

 

The funniest thing about that Villa/Fulham result was Paddy Power paying out on Fulham’s relegation after it.

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Right Slim, there's a lot there for me to get my teeth into, so I'm going to have to be selective.

 

Firstly, in the main, an excellent round-up. One of the best yet. However...

 

TLW footy - you were a great goal poacher, definitely. Simply because there was no offside so you stood three foot from the goal the entire match, and never moved. John will back me up. John? 

 

Your mum said  “Noooooo we don’t want him. He’s a cocky little thing. Loves himself.” You know who she was talking about, right? Check the mirror love, like you need any encouragement. 

 

Trossard. How dare you Dave. You know what you did. That wonderful lad, great footballer, kind, compassionate, diligent and all you can do is tear him to bits. He and I were made for each other. It's jealousy, that's what it is. 

 

Oh and please, enough already with the wankfest on Rashford. Christonabike has he not been beatified yet? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tremendous work fella, these are always good, but that is another level. Why I pays me money!

 

"Ralph Hassenthwrththehwel"

 

Made me dribble me tea that did. 

 

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On 02/10/2020 at 11:13, rb14 said:

TLW footy - you were a great goal poacher, definitely. Simply because there was no offside so you stood three foot from the goal the entire match, and never moved. John will back me up. John? 

 

Your mum said  “Noooooo we don’t want him. He’s a cocky little thing. Loves himself.” You know who she was talking about, right? Check the mirror love, like you need any encouragement. 

 

Trossard. How dare you Dave. You know what you did. That wonderful lad, great footballer, kind, compassionate, diligent and all you can do is tear him to bits. He and I were made for each other. It's jealousy, that's what it is. 

 

Firstly, I wasn't a goalhanger, I just happened to do most of my best work near the goal. And the day John backs anyone over me is the day hell freezes over. There is no bigger admirer of my centre forward play than John. @Paulwill confirm this, right Paul?

 

Secondly, as Millhouse once said "My mom thinks I'm cool".

 

Thirdly, don't get all angry because you fancy a lad who looks like a frog. That's on you, not me. I'm just pointing out the obvious.

 

Besides, he's too young for you anyway. You might wanna turn your attention to an older version of him? Someone closer to your own age. Like this guy.....

 

56448_faragetaylorwessing1_1559054638132.jpg

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