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Premier League Round Up (Sep 19-21 2020)

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So last week I was rejoicing in it being a manc free weekend in the Premier League but both of them were back in action this week and frankly it was great. Well, half of it was.

 

That United loss against Palace was great fun, as was the subsequent over the top reaction to it. There’s just no middle ground with them is there?

 

When they’d beaten up on some shit teams their fans and the wider football media got far too carried away by it and convinced themselves that they were much better than they actually are. Now, after they lost at home to Palace, the opposite is happening.

 

“Ole Out” was trending and there have been various discussions about his future on different media outlets. After one fucking game!!! There’s just something about Manchester United that provokes far more hysteria (positive and negative) than anyone else. It’s similar with us and Arsenal, but just not as ridiculous.

 

All we’ve heard for months is how United are “back”. I didn’t buy into that and I’m not buying into the notion that they’re completely hopeless now because they’ve lost one game. They are what they are. They’ll be on a similar points total this year to what they managed last year and the year before. Not great, not terrible, just meh.

 

Far be it for me to be the one to offer up a defence of Solskjaer, but it seems ridiculous that one loss has caused such a big about face. I think he’s shit and I hope they keep him for a long time, but this was one game and there were extenuating circumstances for how shit they were.

 

Not least that they haven’t had a pre-season. They came in cold against a Palace team that was much better prepared than they were. I’d have been more surprised if they’d won, not least because they’re a bit shit when they can’t play on the counter attack, and Palace were never going to let them do that.

 

Palace can do this to anyone though. Their record against top six sides over recent years is pretty good. They’ve basically beaten all of us at some point. You don’t want to fall behind against them because they can just dig in and play on the break, and they’re really good at it.

 

There was nothing especially unusual or surprising about this result. Anyone who thinks there was hasn’t been paying attention or they were swept along by the ridiculous hype United have had since lockdown ended. The one thing that it was, of course, was fucking hilarious.

 

It was hilarious even before it kicked off, with Patrice Evra saying live on Sky that Zaha was bombed out of United because of the rumours “true or untrue” that he was in a relationship with Moyesy’s daughter. This fella is a fucking idiot. How can you not know that there are certain things that are off limits when you’re on live telly?

 

He shouldn’t have said anything at all but if he really felt like it was a point that needed making then you say something about ‘there were rumours about his personal life’ or something like that. You don’t just repeat what was essentially just a wild internet rumour. Of course it was hilarious, but Kelly having to apologise for him was excruciating. Make HIM apologise for it.

 

Anyway, as has been said on countless occasions, Zaha (or more likely his solicitor) pointed out to Sky that the rumours were false and he’d never even met the daughter of David Moyes, let alone done anything else with her.

 

So anyway, the game gets underway and Townsend gave Palace a deserved lead. He should have made it 2-0 actually as he had a couple more good chances. Palace were looking like they’d score every time they attacked, mainly because United’s defence is shite.

 

They eventually doubled their lead from the spot in the most hilarious circumstances. Firstly, that’s never a pen in a million years. If that’s a penalty then every time the ball hits a defender’s arm in the box you’re going to have to give one, just for consistency. Or alternatively just keep giving them against United, that works too.

 

The comedy wasn’t finished there though, as De Gea made a great save to deny Ayew and play went on for a good while before out of nowhere, BOOOOOM, the VAR ref said “nah ah Man United”. De Gea was an inch off his line so it had to be retaken.

 

The rule is the rule and harsh as it seems, officials have been told they have to clamp down on this from now on. Solskjaer even acknowledged that was the right call but said he didn’t think it was a penalty. I agree with him, but considering how many pens they’ve had over the last couple of years sympathy will be in short supply.

 

What makes this even better is that Palace not only got to retake the kick, they also got to change their taker. Ayew was fucked off and Zaha stepped up to bury the spot kick to add a capital ‘F’ on the Fuck you.

 

United pulled one back through Van der Beek but Zaha punished them on the break late on to add a capital… erm.. UCK on the FUCK you.

 

Goldbridge’s reaction to the retaken penalty was glorious. One of the funniest Goldbridge moments ever this (skip to around nine minutes in):

 

 

 

It was raining goals this weekend though. I don’t know if that’s a result of no fans in stadiums or just because everyone is completely rusty and hasn’t had a pre-season to hone their defensive shape and organisation properly. It looks a bit amateurish though when so many goals are flying in. Makes for a more interesting MOTD on a Saturday night though.

 

The Blues put five past West Brom in a game that was shaping up really nicely until Kieran Gibbs stupidly got himself sent off for clouting Rodriguez. Moron.

 

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article

 

Please note that PL Round Ups are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

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Bilic didn't think Gibbs on Hamez was a red card offence. What's his honest opinion on his theatrics with Laurent Blanc at the World Cup then?

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Quote

...she can’t stand due to his “stupid hair” and because “he looks like someone who would be in the nightclubs trying to impress all the girls by telling them he’s a footballer”.

 

The prosecution rests....

 

0_Dominic-Calvert-Lewin.jpg

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That goldbridge vid is hilarious.  The last 2 mins are the highlight.  I know loads of people get annoyed by him but if you try and watch him once every month or two it keeps its value.

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Look us sane people are just going to except Dave's man love for Jon f****** Bon Jovi or else it will be a long season. SO as a peace offering a Bon Jovi Joke.

Dr Schrodinger is a Bon Jovi fan apparently his favourite song is Wanted Dead and Alive

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Mike Riley's boys excelled themselves with handballs last weekend giving the two that shouldn't have been given and not giving the one that should have.

0 for 3 , thats impressive. There was even a discussion about the shirt sleeve being an indicator now , fuck me just go back to ' was it deliberate ? '

 

The Lamptey one was a definite though Dave, St Maximin was nowhere near the ball

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Just make it deliberate which includes putting or leaving  your arms in a position which might look like an attempt to block the ball. 

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5 hours ago, Mark M said:

On the Danny Murphy MOTD red card I thought Murphys issue was the Ref sending Bilic off too quickly 

Ok that might be right actually.

 

Even so, he was still having a go at Dean for not going to the video though, even though the linesman was right on the spot and saw the whole thing clearly. Plus the VAR will have told him 'yeah its a red, no need to check that' so why the fuck should Dean have gone to the video?

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I'm currently watching the Spurs documentary on Amazon.  Mourinho and Levy come out of it better than expected, but the thing that strikes me most is the absence of real on-field leaders in the Spurs team. Kane tries hard but isn't convincing, while Lloris can influence very little from the back. It makes me realise how fortunate we are to have Henderson, Van Dijk and Milner and appreciate what they bring to the team. 

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12 hours ago, tlw content said:

definitely the toughest looking hombre in the Premier League.

Oh here we go. He's off. 

 

Mind, you claw back some lost ground with "heebeegeebees". 

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Justice Justice Jam on Toast swival on it ...fuckinghell ,its a manc Nasal speaking Alan Partridge ...Usher , you should be flogged outside the Albert for inflicting that on people

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19 hours ago, alles ist gut said:

Top, top ‘Niall Quinn’s neck’ analysis there, Dave.

Repped for the correct spelling of 'Niall'. Which is more than can be said for certain others...

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10 hours ago, Waitak said:

I'm currently watching the Spurs documentary on Amazon.  Mourinho and Levy come out of it better than expected, but the thing that strikes me most is the absence of real on-field leaders in the Spurs team. Kane tries hard but isn't convincing, while Lloris can influence very little from the back. It makes me realise how fortunate we are to have Henderson, Van Dijk and Milner and appreciate what they bring to the team. 

Every meeting ends with more intensity boys, let's fucking kill them

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