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Premier League Round Up (Sep 12-14 2020)

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The first couple of weeks of the season are a Manc free zone, so let’s enjoy that while we can because as soon as either of them has a convincing win over some turd team we’ll be subjected to the nauseating fawning over them. 

 

The back end of last season was a joke really. All that bollocks about “resurgent United” because they looked decent against a load of slapdick bottom half teams and because Leicester and Chelsea choked like dogs to let them sneak third. They’re still majorly flawed and they’ve still got a manager who got Cardiff relegated. 

 

Then we have City. Seemingly everyone is tipping them for the title, in many cases because of “how strong they looked after lockdown”. Did they really though? Or are people getting carried away by their flat track bully act? They lost the same amount of games as we did but the perception seems to be that they were great when footy came back and we were shite.

 

This actually suits me just fine as I’d much rather not be the favourite, but it is a load of bollocks when you actually take a step back and look at it objectively. They shouldn’t be favourites because they’ve done nothing to suggest they’re better than us. Absolutely nothing at all.

 

People have been completely fooled by City. They win so many games by cricket scores that it influences people into thinking that the bad results they have are somehow just a fluke. The bad results aren’t a fluke. They’re every bot as much who City are as the 6-0 wins. 

 

City will always finish with the best goal difference because when they get on top of a bad team they pound them into the ground and keep trying to score goals right up until the end. They’ll do it again this season. There’ll be games when they score six, seven, maybe even eight (although their personal bitch Watford getting relegated makes that less likely) and everyone will be going “oh aren’t City just wonderful”. 

 

Yeah, they are. When they have it their own way there’s nobody like them. At the risk of sounding all Neil Warnock though, the fact is they don’t like it up ‘em. Get City in a close game and you’ve got every chance of beating them. Just ask Lyon, or any of the nine Premier League sides who beat “Pep” last season. I feel like this is lost on most people though.

 

It’s like how they’re always favourites for the Champions League even though they have zero pedigree in the competition. Why the fuck would City ever be favourites for the Champions League? There’s absolutely no logic to it as they’ve never done anything of note in Europe. Even when they seemed to have a clear path to the final this year they went and lost to a team that finished 7th in a “farmer’s league” for fucks sake. They’re about as welcome in Europe as Nigel Farage.

 

In terms of the Premier League, on what basis do people have them being better than us? They lost nine league games last season and they finished 18 points behind us. Since then they’ve lost David Silva, while Sergio Aguero is another year older and the squad have had even more time to get sick of the sound of Guardiola’s voice, the fuckin’ weirdo. 

 

There’s only so much “guys, come on guys… we need to play better guys… ok guys, let’s do this guys” that even the most ardent professional can tolerate before he switches off completely. So I’m not sure why everyone just assumed that last year was a blip when City’s flaws have been exposed on so many different occasions. 

 

They’re a bully with a glass jaw. They look big and tough when they’re pounding on the weaker kids and stealing their lunch money, but as soon as anyone hits them back they run off crying (to the CAS when it was UEFA doing the hitting).

 

If they sign Koulibaly that could certainly be a difference maker and if that happens then you could probably make a case for them being at least joint favourites with us. But as of yet they haven’t signed him, yet people are still falling over themselves to tip City for the title. It isn’t based in logic because over a sustained period of time (i.e. two full seasons) we’ve outperformed them massively and neither squad has changed much, other than City have lost Kompany and now Silva.

 

So while I’m not shouting from the rooftops that we’ll win the title again, what I would say is that if you look at it rationally and sensibly then we should be seen as favourites, but I’m glad we’re not. I won’t be making any predictions in these round ups until we’re four or five games in though. 

 

Actually no, I’ll make one prediction right off the bat. Fulham are going straight back down. They’re no different to how they were last time they were up. I’ll reserve judgement on Leeds (and West Brom too, I suppose) but my mind is already made up about Fulham. 

 

They’ve got no chance of surviving, especially as that bum Tim Ream is STILL at the heart of their defence. Incredible. Nothing has changed with them since last time. They played nice football and created some chances against the Gunners, but they lost 3-0. Standard Fulham that.

 

Lacazette got the first, new boy Gabriel shouldered in the second and Aubameyeng hit a brilliant third. That was a great move and a terrific finish. 

 

How weird was it seeing Willian playing for Arsenal though? He’s a good signing for them as he’s already their second best player behind Aubameyeng. Arsenal will definitely have a better season than last time but how much better only time will tell. Beating Fulham isn’t an indicator of anything, as everyone will beat Fulham.

 

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article

 

Please note that PL Round Ups are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

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I don’t care about Noble, but he’s been a great player and skipper for them, no doubt about it.

 

Chelsea is buying Rennes’keeper, Mendy it seems. 

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Great summing up. I like Noble too except when he gobbed off 2 seasons ago about us being 'scared' of them after they grabbed a draw off us and really should have beaten us down there.

 

Great quote this about city as well "Even when they seemed to have a clear path to the final this year they went and lost to a team that finished 7th in a “farmer’s league” for fucks sake. They’re about as welcome in Europe as Nigel Farage. "

 

It seems the press have wanked themselves blind over Fwank's spending spree and as you say, all the kids he used last season and now being out in the cold, glossed over. I thought they were spawny cunts against Brighton. If they'd have been playing Leeds on Monday night, Fwank would be staring at a defeat now.

 

I fucking detest arsenal with a passion. The fans are arrogant cunts. That arteta just looks like a manequin with that gormless smile on his fizzhog and razor cut hair line! A cup win, the Community Shield penalty shoot out win and a win at the weakest promoted team and all a sudden, their title winning material again. Just how the fuck did the fixture planners manage to give them such an easy first game?

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Isn't Brighton nicknamed "God's waiting room ?".  That's where Lallana's career has gone to die.  It's a shame, Klopp clearly had a lot of man love for him but even hugging him too hard would have broken him for half a season.

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3 minutes ago, sir roger said:

I thought it was Eastbourne

A quick Interweb check mentions Hove and Eastbourne.  And Florida !

Wouldn't Stringvest know ?

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So that's us nailed on for defeats at the hands of West Brom and Fulham. Nice one Usher you knob jockey. 

 

PS. I'm currently spending most of my time a few miles out of Eastbourne. At 24, I'm the exception that proves the rule. 

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9 hours ago, rb14 said:

So that's us nailed on for defeats at the hands of West Brom and Fulham. Nice one Usher you knob jockey. 

 

PS. I'm currently spending most of my time a few miles out of Eastbourne. At 24, I'm the exception that proves the rule. 

 

Trying to work out what the 24 is. I've narrowed it down to either 'stone' or 'IQ' which tells me you've either gained some weight on your holidays or you've been reading books and become smarter.

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21 hours ago, Arnaud said:

I don’t care about Noble, but he’s been a great player and skipper for them, no doubt about it.

 

Chelsea is buying Rennes’keeper, Mendy it seems. 

 

Is he any good mate? 

 

I mean, obviously he has to be better than Kepa, but is he actually good?

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I don’t know myself, but he’s highly regarded here by pundits and fans.

 

Rennes are said to want 30 M€, and James on loan.

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53 minutes ago, dave u said:

Always makes me laugh that our resident Frenchman actually watches less French footy than pretty much anyone else on the forum!

It’s boring, I don’t have the channel for, and reading this forum in English takes so much time. Time to write in French a little more, lads? 

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Unlikely. I got an 'F' in my GCSE French.

 

Then again, I got a 'D' for English language and an 'E' for English literature but I ended up writing for a living so never say never. 

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My first French lesson in senior school I was thrown out of the class and sent to the year head. We were learning right and left, and asking for directions to the train station and all that jazz.

 

When it was my turn, I saw the opportunity to impress my new classmates. 

 

Teacher: "Ou est la gare?"

 

Me (in broadest scouse): "Turnay le twat".

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23 minutes ago, dave u said:

I had to run that through google translate, which shows you how bad my French is.

You should be negged for not getting the Some Like It Hot reference, but I'll bank it for a time when you are dishing out negs for someone not knowing what Paulie Walnuts' shoe size is.

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