Things non drivers do

[Section_31]

Inspired by Kurtz's thread 

 

(1) slam your passenger door. Sometimes putting the lock down before they do, even though it's central locking.

 

(2) have no concept of petrol requiring the exchange of currency. "Pick me up and drop me off from Manchester Airport and I'll buy you a pint".

 

(3) have no concept of the logistics of parking, dropping off and picking up. "My work's do is in Times Square on Saturday night, could you pick me up about midnight?

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

 

 

Mrs Kurtz and the kids do all of the above. 

That's quite a lot to deal with at the same time.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Think that half a mile is a reasonable walking distance. 

 

Give rubbish directions in city centres, due to unfamiliarity with one-way systems.

[littletedwest]

Volunteer you to drive other people around. "I'll get kev pick you up and take you there".

[aws]

Tense up and make strange tutting sounds when you edge out to see if you can overtake before a bend. 

[Dr Nowt]

Say “Please slow down, I have children. PLEASE” when you’re zooming wildly around country lanes off your head on gak.

[Remmie]

As a non-driver this will be like a bingo thread for me. 

 

May I add not know how to work the boot despite almost all boot locks working the same way

[VladimirIlyich]

2 minutes ago, Remmie said:

As a non-driver this will be like a bingo thread for me. 

 

May I add not know how to work the boot despite almost all boot locks working the same way

Most boot locks don't work the same way nowadays and as a regular driver I keep finding this out. 

[Remmie]

2 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Most boot locks don't work the same way nowadays and as a regular driver I keep finding this out. 

Thanks man, I don't feel quite so stupid now

[Section_31]

Showing you things on their phone is a good shout.

 

"Look at this!"

 

"I would but I don't like killing people."

[sir roger]

I, like Remmie, am a non driver and I have done most of the preceding faux pas,  but another one that bugs the wife is assuming that as soon as we have stopped I can get out without thinking she may still be manoeuvring into the parking space.

[Section_31]

To be fair I remember being like this before I could drive, but basically the non driver feels the driver is duty bound to provide transport simply becaue they've got a car.

 

"My mates are in town can you drop me off?"

 

"I've just got into my dressing gown and slippers, it's midnight and I'm tired."

 

"BUT YOU'VE GOT A CAR!!!"

[Remmie]

I've not done the slamming for about 12 years after a mate complained. He's had to ask me to close the door more firmly about 5 times since however. 

 

Fussy pricks, you drivers. 

[Strontium]

Re: the door thing, all cars are different, so the force required to close is not a uniform thing. Also, if windows are open, even a highly resistant door will close more easily. 

 

How about a thread for things which drivers don't seem to be able to find? Number 1 - the indicator light switch. 

 

[Elite]

Leave rubbish in the passenger door storage bit.

[Dougie Do'ins]

Back seat passengers who think it's quite OK to exit the car on the off side without checking to see if there's anything coming behind, especially on busy roads. 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

Back seat passengers who think it's quite OK to exit the car on the off side without checking to see if there's anything coming behind, especially on busy roads. 

I did this from the passengers side when my mate borrowed his mums car when we were about 17. He parked up outside theirs and I got out the passenger side without looking. A car twatted the door. I swear the noise sounded like they had taken the door with them. It didn't even leave a scratch. The weirdest thing. Even the other driver got out and we couldn't find a thing on his car either. God knows how there was no damage. 

[johnsusername]

Walking into the road assuming you can stop in a heartbeat a two tonne piece of metal moving at 35 miles an hour. 

[Guest]

12 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Getting worse as every fucker is wandering about wearing headphones and staring blankly at their phones. Particularly bad if you’re turning left off a main road into a side road. People just step off the kerb without thinking you may be turning, you’re forced to brake suddenly and the car behind crunches straight into the back of you. Meanwhile the numpty pedestrian wanders on their merry fucking way as if nothing has happened, maybe a cheery wave to thank you for stopping. 

Pedestrian is King. 

[Elite]

27 minutes ago, johnsusername said:

Walking into the road assuming you can stop in a heartbeat a two tonne piece of metal moving at 35 miles an hour. 

Reported.

[Tony Moanero]

Things non drivers do? 

 

Walk or use public transport.

[easytoslip]

Thumb a lift, call a cab. 

[Dr Nowt]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I did this from the passengers side when my mate borrowed his mums car when we were about 17. He parked up outside theirs and I got out the passenger side without looking. A car twatted the door. I swear the noise sounded like they had taken the door with them. It didn't even leave a scratch. The weirdest thing. Even the other driver got out and we couldn't find a thing on his car either. God knows how there was no damage. 

 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Zero idea about directions by car. Old Man Dangerously has never driven and is the absolute worst person when giving directions. It comes in the form of one or more of the following:

 

'You know the *the name of a pub in the 70s which has had several changes in name and is now a Starbucks* it's past that.'

'Just go towards *blank* and I'll tell you where to go.'

'By the Old Roan.' (It ends up being in Maghull)

'It's just down there.' *points at the turn off we've just driven past*

 

It's at the point now that I won't give him a lift anywhere unless he provides me with a postcode which Google verifies as where he wants to go. 

[Elite]

1 minute ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Zero idea about directions by car. Old Man Dangerously has never driven and is the absolute worst person when giving directions. It comes in the form of one or more of the following:

 

'You know the *the name of a pub in the 70s which has had several changes in name and is now a Starbucks* it's past that.'

'Just go towards *blank* and I'll tell you where to go.'

'By the Old Roan.' (It ends up being in Maghull)

'It's just down there.' *points at the turn off we've just driven past*

 

It's at the point now that I won't give him a lift anywhere unless he provides me with a postcode which Google verifies as where he wants to go. 

I bet he blames you for missing the turning as well doesn't he?