The ‘Everyone has... except me’ Thread

[mgw100]

8 minutes ago, Champ said:

And do people not believe you either?

I have never really discussed it in any depth to be honest. 

[Gruntfuttock]

I've never travelled by air.

[TheHowieLama]

2 minutes ago, Gruntfuttock said:

I've never travelled by air.

Cheap flights available now pal.

[cloggypop]

5 hours ago, Champ said:

Great shout. I’ve no idea what cramp is

It's the singular of this

 

 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Some spawny cramp-free bastards on here.

 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Never had ecstasy or acid or coke or most of the things that naughty youngsters do to have fun.

[Ne Moe Imya]

I've never been drunk.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

10 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Isn’t @Aw Geez on the Buckfast regularly now too? Is it big in NI or are you just a pair of plebs?

 

It's big amongst plebs

[Mudface]

11 hours ago, Champ said:

Great shout. I’ve no idea what cramp is

 

11 hours ago, mgw100 said:

I also have no idea what cramp is

It's what you get when you miss the turning to Brunstane station, walk on for a mile in a drunken haze, finally realise and leg it back to find you've missed your train, get Mook to kindly arrange a taxi to Waverley, sit in the back clenched up 'cos if you don't make this train there it's going to be another couple of hours till the next one, jump out and run through Waverley as fast as your drunken legs can carry you and finally collapse in relief when you make it.

[mgw100]

Ah right. Nah, definitely never had it.

[Evelyn Tentions]

42 minutes ago, Mudface said:

 

It's what you get when you miss the turning to Brunstane station, walk on for a mile in a drunken haze, finally realise and leg it back to find you've missed your train, get Mook to kindly arrange a taxi to Waverley, sit in the back clenched up 'cos if you don't make this train there it's going to be another couple of hours till the next one, jump out and run through Waverley as fast as your drunken legs can carry you and finally collapse in relief when you make it.

That's not cramp.Its the most intense pain, in your groin, your thigh,your calves or feet - or any combination, in one or both legs. Lasts for about 10 minutes which seem like hours. Footballers are usually affected in the calves, that's why you see them lying on their back while someone stretches their leg. It's commoner as you age and tends to happen during hot weather after exercise.

[Mudface]

20 minutes ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

That's not cramp.Its the most intense pain, in your groin, your thigh,your calves or feet - or any combination, in one or both legs. Lasts for about 10 minutes which seem like hours. Footballers are usually affected in the calves, that's why you see them lying on their back while someone stretches their leg. It's commoner as you age and tends to happen during hot weather after exercise.

It was a joke, based on what happened after I met Champ, Mook and mgw100 to watch the City game last year.

 

I quite regularly get cramp in my calves and feet at night or in the morning through exercise or drinking too much water during the day for a hangover. It's horrible, the last one in my calves a few weeks ago actually still hurt a few days later.

[johnsusername]

Nothing worse than waking up in the middle of the night with cramp in a calf. 

[tokyojoe]

5 hours ago, Ne Moe Imya said:

I've never been drunk.

We have a winner!

[Scooby Dudek]

21 hours ago, RedKnight said:

Pop Tarts are awful sugary confections. Foul.

 

I've never tried smoking, never done drugs and I've been to Paris twice and never bothered going up the Eiffel Tower.

Same, Paris twice and never gone near the tower.

I had completely forgotten until I read your post.

[Captain Turdseye]

1 hour ago, Mudface said:

I quite regularly get cramp in my calves and feet at night or in the morning through exercise or drinking too much water during the day for a hangover. It's horrible, the last one in my calves a few weeks ago actually still hurt a few days later.

Doesn’t happen to me very often but it was always disproportionately happening while hungover compared to not. I’ve never made that water connection before. I thought it was just God punishing me for being a knobhead the night before. 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 minute ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Doesn’t happen to me very often but it was always disproportionately happening while hungover compared to not. I’ve never made that water connection before. I just thought it was just God punishing me for being a knobhead the night before. 

Yeah,drinking too much water forces salt levels to become too low and upset the osmotic balance and cramps can be a symptom. Low salt levels can also be a serious condition.

[Bjornebye]

I remember being put clean through on goal one sunday morning after an extremely heavy night before. My body just kind of seized up asmI was sprinting and the pain that shot through my right leg as I cramped up caused me to do some weird almost somersault. The relief when someone helped straighten my leg out was unreal. Fuck me cramp hurts. 

[Mudface]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Doesn’t happen to me very often but it was always disproportionately happening while hungover compared to not. I’ve never made that water connection before. I thought it was just God punishing me for being a knobhead the night before. 

[Guest]

22 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

I don’t currently own a pair of jeans.

 

Unlike practically everyone else, I eat sandwiches and burgers with a knife and fork.

Least surprising post of the decade.

[Strontium]

I envy anyone who has never had cramp. When it's really bad, the pain lingers for days. The worst cramp I ever had took about 3 minutes of stretching the leg just to stop it. I looked at my twitching calf and it was like the muscle was trying to tear itself away from the bone.

[cloggypop]

10 minutes ago, Stront19m Dog™ said:

I envy anyone who has never had cramp. When it's really bad, the pain lingers for days. The worst cramp I ever had took about 3 minutes of stretching the leg just to stop it. I looked at my twitching calf and it was like the muscle was trying to tear itself away from the bone.

[Edward.]

Just realised we are not trying to sign someone called Geordie Arabia.

[Remmie]

5 hours ago, johnsusername said:

Nothing worse than waking up in the middle of the night with cramp in a calf. 

Unless it's your thigh that cramps up

[PestiRed]

I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard an Ed Sheeran song. I don’t listen to the radio and don’t watch British TV except when streamed and chosen so I actually believe that I may have dodged this