The ‘Everyone has... except me’ Thread

[VladimirIlyich]

11 minutes ago, Elite said:

I've never had sex with another man, which everyone on here has except me has.

Stig is happy to help.

[Bjornebye]

Tonys Ma 

[Numero Veinticinco]

3 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

I had a Twinkie a couple of years ago. Been one of those mythical things I'd seen advertised in US comics stuff like Sea Monkeys. Most disappointing thing ever. Like Styrofoam filled with the fakest of fake squirty cream. It's what you'll all be living on once Boris and Trump get their deal though so good luck with it. 

[Red_or_Dead]

I have had a pop tart - they're not very good.

 

I have never, ever had a cup of tea.

 

 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Red_or_Dead said:

 

 

I have never, ever had a cup of tea.

 

 

That might be the cuntiest post on the internet ever. 

[Furmedge]

Dave, can we rename this thread Pop Tarts?  Cheers.

[Red_or_Dead]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

That might be the cuntiest post on the internet ever. 

Really?  Didn't think it was the cuntiest thing I've said today!

 

 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Red_or_Dead said:

Really?  Didn't think it was the cuntiest thing I've said today!

 

 

"never had a cup of tea". Fuck off. What are you a fucking panda? 

[Elite]

8 minutes ago, Red_or_Dead said:

I have had a pop tart - they're not very good.

 

I have never, ever had a cup of tea.

 

 

If you aren't from the UK then it's fair enough but I was given tea in a bottle as a toddler, I didn't stand a chance.

[Captain Turdseye]

We’ve got two massive boxes of Pop Tarts here at the moment, and not the shitty basic flavours that cost £8 for 4 in Tesco. Got them off an American air base last week, and before anyone starts I didn’t acquire them through the kind of means that Elite was hinting at. 
 

43 minutes ago, Elite said:

I've never had sex with another man, which everyone on here has except me has.

 

It wasn’t another man. Singular. As far as I can remember there was at least six of them. 
 

35 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

I had a Twinkie a couple of years ago. Been one of those mythical things I'd seen advertised in US comics stuff like Sea Monkeys. Most disappointing thing ever. Like Styrofoam filled with the fakest of fake squirty cream. It's what you'll all be living on once Boris and Trump get their deal though so good luck with it. 

 

Got some of these too but haven’t bothered trying one yet. The box makes them look like swiss rolls without the artistic elegance. 

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Captain Turdseye said:

We’ve got two massive boxes of Pop Tarts here at the moment, and not the shitty basic flavours that cost £8 for 4 in Tesco. Got them off an American air base last week, and before anyone starts I didn’t acquire them through the kind of means that Elite was hinting at. 
 

 

It wasn’t another man. Singular. As far as I can remember there was at least six of them. 
 

 

Got some of these too but haven’t bothered trying one yet. The box makes them look like swiss rolls without the artistic elegance. 

 

 

 

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

 

It wasn’t another man. Singular. As far as I can remember there was at least six.
 

 

Oh yeah I remember that night fondly now, got hammered more times than an auctioneers gavel.

[VladimirIlyich]

4 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

We’ve got two massive boxes of Pop Tarts here at the moment, and not the shitty basic flavours that cost £8 for 4 in Tesco. Got them off an American air base last week, and before anyone starts I didn’t acquire them through the kind of means that Elite was hinting at. 
 

 

It wasn’t another man. Singular. As far as I can remember there was at least six of them. 
 

 

Got some of these too but haven’t bothered trying one yet. The box makes them look like swiss rolls without the artistic elegance. 

He told you it was a prostate exam didn't he?

[YorkshireRed]

I’ve never lost a fight! Assume most on here have taken a pasting or three. 

 

To be fair, I’ve only had two and the last one was thirty three years ago. Could easily have lost the second one, probably won on points after a Teacher split us up. I was tiring though and may well have been on the verge of tears.

 

Battered the first cunt though. 

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’ve never lost a fight! Assume most on here have taken a pasting or three. 

 

To be fair, I’ve only had two and the last one was thirty three years ago. Could easily have lost the second one, probably won on points after a Teacher split us up. I was tiring though and may well have been on the verge of tears.

 

Battered the first cunt though. 

Craig Fairbrass here.

[Remmie]

Never seen or read Lord of the rings

Never tried a cigarette 

Never been to Namibia

[YorkshireRed]

1 minute ago, Remmie said:

Never seen or read Lord of the rings

Same. I’d also add any books or films with that bespectacled wizard in as well. 

[Strontium]

32 minutes ago, Red_or_Dead said:

I have never, ever had a cup of tea.

You ain't the only one.

[Tony Moanero]

37 minutes ago, Red_or_Dead said:

 

I have never, ever had a cup of tea.

 

 

Negged. What do you dunk biscuits in? Coffee?

[General Dryness]

27 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

"never had a cup of tea". Fuck off. What are you a fucking panda? 

Pandas are chinese. They fucking love tea.

 

I've never been to Spain. Every other cunt has, apparently. I think Jairz has been, but he rarely talks about it.

[Bjornebye]

Just now, General Dryness said:

Pandas are chinese. They fucking love tea.

 

I've never been to Spain. Every other cunt has, apparently. I think Jairz has been, but he rarely talks about it.

Racist that 

[Red_or_Dead]

2 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Negged. What do you dunk biscuits in? Coffee?

Nope, only ever had one 'cup of coffee' too.  Not likely to repeat that experience either.

 

[Strontium]

2 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Negged. What do you dunk biscuits in? Coffee?

 

Controversial perhaps, but I just eat biscuits as is. My body produces something called saliva, rendering the pre-soaking of my food unnecessary.

[General Dryness]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Racist that 

They're all good at maths too. And wearing glasses.

 

Fuck off you whippet. Tea is massively popular in China. 

[Tony Moanero]

2 minutes ago, Stront19m Dog™ said:

 

Controversial perhaps, but I just eat biscuits as is. My body produces something called saliva, rendering the pre-soaking of my food unnecessary.

Dunking biscuits enhances the flavour.