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Stuff you find in the man drawer


Section_31
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A single Kodak penlight.

 

kodak-aa-zinc-super-heavy-duty-aa-6rp-15

 

An AC adapter 

 

F1784227-01.jpg

 

A piece of paper with some illegible writing that you don't recognise, nor does anyone else in your house.

 

convert-illegible-handwriting-into-reada 

 

Random sepia family photograph, nobody is quite sure who they are but it might be your uncle Eddie. 

 

97499-1334925123-0-l.jpg

 

Plastic wall plugs. Brown. One missing. 

 

plug-brown-600x600.jpg

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1 minute ago, Captain Turdseye said:

One or two blag DVD’s, possibly pornographic, that have been sat there for years in flimsy cellophane wrappers. 

top shout, they always have 'Jenna Jameson' written on them in blue pen, even though it never is Jenna Jameson. This was an attempt by the original producer to lull you into a false sense of quality. In actual fact what you got was British porn, and the British have the world's least sexy porn accent. 'Oooh yeah, gawdelpus put it up me arse.' 

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A couple of watch batteries. 

 

A flattened light-bulb box. You never bin it but it just gets in the way. 

 

A packet of birthday cake candles. 

 

One of them really thick and long elastic bands. Just incase. 

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An unlabelled C90 tape

A charger/adaptor for who knows what

A SCART lead

A Scotch tape dispenser with an empty roll of tape

A zip handle

 

Stuff like the above is found randomly anywhere in the house, and I have no idea how it gets there.

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24 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

top shout, they always have 'Jenna Jameson' written on them in blue pen, even though it never is Jenna Jameson. This was an attempt by the original producer to lull you into a false sense of quality. In actual fact what you got was British porn, and the British have the world's least sexy porn accent. 'Oooh yeah, gawdelpus put it up me arse.' 


It’s be not been able to watch porn for about a year after watching Kit & Kat, British twins who get fucked together, no incest, just there at the same to etc.

 

Anyhows, Kit, or maybe it was Kat, can’t really tell, is being taken advantage of by a British bloke, so far so ordinary. Then he compels the other to ‘come and lick my arse juices’! I mean, what the fuck are arse juices, sweat, shit, some type of discharge which required a physician? 
 

i know porn has never been commended on its screenplay and scripts, but fuck me it threw me.
 

It’s not that it put me off, more it confused me, and I now have a pornography mental block in place. I can’t watch it without questioning what type of excretion he was demanding to be licked from his anus by Kit, or maybe it was Kat, can’t really tell, poor cows.

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I don’t do DIY, so my draws don’t contain any of the necessary paraphernalia.

 

- Sony MiniDisc player (last used in the early 00s)

- Old footy programmes

- Pocket watch (bought on a whim but never used)

- Starsky & Hutch Ford Gran Torino diecast model

- Parker pen

- Half-eaten bag of Humbugs (best before Nov 2012)

 

 

 

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