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Premier League Round Up (Jun 27 - Jul 2 2020)

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Three Watford players were filmed at a gathering of over 20 people last Friday, according to Match of the Day. I googled it and the ‘gathering’ was a birthday party for Andre Gray, organised by Gray himself. 

 

All three players were left out of the squad for the Southampton game for ‘health and safety reasons’. 

 

Translation: They were told to stay the fuck away because Nigel Pearson was going to kill them with his bare hands.

 

Seriously, how fucking irresponsible is that? Watford aren’t mid-table with nothing to play for. They’re still in a relegation fight, but their players can’t social distance for the next few weeks? No shock that Andre Gray was involved. If I had to pick one Watford player who’d do something like this he’d have been top of my list.

 

I daresay my boy Troy won’t be happy. He didn’t want to come back and play at all because his little lad is in an at risk group. Now three of his team-mates are putting him at risk by… well I’ll let Gray himself tell you what happened.

 

"It was not a late-night party like what is being portrayed. It was only a gathering of friends which turned into a sort of football tournament on my birthday.”

 

A ‘sort of football tournament’. In other words, a kick about with a load of his non-footy player mates, who unlike his actual team-mates are not being tested twice a week. If I was Deeney I’d want to smash their faces in. 

 

They probably wouldn’t have made any difference to the result against Southampton as the Saints were just too good for them, but it’s not really the point is it?

 

Ings fired Southampton ahead with a terrific goal and then doubled their lead with another sharp strike. 21 goals for the season, 18 of which have come in the league.

 

I referred to Timo Werner recently as a “Harrods Danny Ings”. A massively more expensive but only slightly superior version of the actual Danny Ings who you can pick up at Asda. I’m quite pleased with that analogy but it might actually be flattering Werner.

 

I was thinking about this the other day though. It would have been difficult for Klopp to justify (to himself as well as Michael Edwards) spending so much on Werner when he’d sold virtually the same player for less than half that price. How do you rationalise that?

 

Ings is one goal shy of being the leading scorer in the league this season. If Werner matches that next year then he’s done well. If Mo can’t win the Golden Boot this year (and he still might, he’s only two back of Vardy) I’d love Ingsy to win it. 

 

Anyway, Bednarek put through his own net to give Watford hope but a stunning free-kick from Ward-Prowse wrapped it up. Great technique that, as his entire body shape suggested the ball was going around the wall into the far corner but he whipped it right back across and over the wall into the opposite corner.

 

Final note on this. Bednarek is a dead ringer for short haired Milan Baros.

 

 

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6 hours ago, Whelan5 said:

This top top analysis gag got old months ago. 

 

Top, top gag analysis there 

  • Upvote 3

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18 hours ago, aws said:

Top, top gag analysis there 

Top top top gag analysis gag analysis there. 

 

On to more important things, @dave u, you know what you did. I'm laughing at you, not with you. 

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If this is about the J word, then you ought to know by know that's part of his name. Any time I refer to him as 'Dan Gosling' and not 'that Dan Gosling jabroni' I get complaints and I value those opinions more than yours, so you'll just have to live with it.

 

Besides....

 

 

 

 

 

  • Upvote 1

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@dave u it was part of a phase you went through where almost every single word in your reports was an americanism. The only word missing was "math". Had you used that, by the way, I'd have put my foot through your head and sent me the bill. Or something.

 

And it's not like there aren't like a million english words that can be used as a more succinct and infinitely more demeaning alternative. I offer you "loser", "waster", "dunderhead" (oooh yeah), "moron", "failure" or, and indeed my favourite, "Usher". 

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"dunderhead" Kinell. 

 

While I'm doing that I might also use "poopy pants" or "fart breath".

 

No-one would think that you're in your 60s Roger.

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