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Bjornebye

Mook Needs You

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He's one of our own. He is getting grief off a colleague in work. She's targeting him unfairly. The lad has a mortgage to pay, a family, cat & a mouse to feed, a record collection to keep alive and a collection of vintage football tops to fund. She's a threat to this. 

 

Lets collate our suggestions on how to deal with this absolute witch. 

 

Its Randle McMurphy versus Nurse Ratched. Getting its head bummed in is not an option unfortunately unless Col fancies a drive from Plymouth to Edinburgh. 

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I like the sound of her.  There has been a void in my life since the sexy boss left. This psycho fills the gap nicely.  I'm on her side, to be honest.  

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One I suggested to Remmie some years ago, once everyone is back in the office send her some flowers anonymously, all the women will crowd around and it'll be like 'oooh who are they off?' but the card will just say 'you're fat'. 

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7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

He's one of our own. He is getting grief off a colleague in work. She's targeting him unfairly. The lad has a mortgage to pay, a family, cat & a mouse to feed, a record collection to keep alive and a collection of vintage football tops to fund. She's a threat to this. 

 

Lets collate our suggestions on how to deal with this absolute witch. 

 

Its Randle McMurphy versus Nurse Ratched. Getting its head bummed in is not an option unfortunately unless Col fancies a drive from Plymouth to Edinburgh. 

 

she's probably just wondering why the stapler smells of poo.

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5 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

One I suggested to Remmie some years ago, once everyone is back in the office send her some flowers anonymously, all the women will crowd around and it'll be like 'oooh who are they off?' but the card will just say 'you're fat'. 

Ha ha, I like this one.

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It's his own fault thinking the grass was greener.  Should have stayed where he was. Just upped sticks and fucked off without so much of a second though for our entertainment in the WOAW thread.

 

Made his bed........

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Didn’t his last female boss hate him as well? Is there something he’s not telling us....

 

Joking aside, the shit she’s pulled on his call fails definitely needs sorting and I think the suggestion of opening a HR complaint is spot on.

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3 minutes ago, mattyq said:

What?

What's this... details, please

It's in the "Instant Cunt Identifiers" thread.  Whether that's the correct place for it is open to debate, though. 

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I suggest she sack him, and get a female replacement.

 

Then one of those two ladies - the one who hasn't killed the other - will have him back in his job within 6 months, with a payrise.

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Order a load of Pizza and tell the delivery boy to enter the office saying 'This is for all the hard working staff from 'Insert her name,' enjoy.' 

 

She'll either make a cunt of herself denying it or be left fuming inside. 

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Keep leaving her voicemails at 3:35am every other night (from a different number obviously) just going "what have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this" like the Pet Shop Boys. 

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I reckon the old boss is behind all of this. She will reveal herself in the third act, Palpatine style.  

 

What have I 

What have I

What have I done to deserve Sith

 

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48 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

One I suggested to Remmie some years ago, once everyone is back in the office send her some flowers anonymously, all the women will crowd around and it'll be like 'oooh who are they off?' but the card will just say 'you're fat'. 

This was fucking genius and had it all set in place, a mate was going to play courier. But a day before another colleague lost his patience with the fucking gobshite in question and was worried about getting blamed and losing his job

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Sign up to the local Facebook group that she belongs to using a fake profile, then post that she’s been breaking Coronavirus rules by having multiple blokes calling at all hours of the day and night and that the cars that keep dropping off suspicious packages all the time are disturbing your dogs.

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I'll provide some background on her...

 

French, late 30s, mother of two, her husband works about 6ft away from us in the office, 5/10 looks (no tits), takes great pleasure in correcting people all the time, lives in Fife (shithole) & wears crap shoes.

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1 minute ago, Mook said:

French, late 30s, mother of two, her husband works about 6ft away from us in the office, 5/10 looks (no tits), takes great pleasure in correcting people all the time, lives in Fife (shithole) & wears crap shoes.

I'm just off for a wank. 

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Learn fluent French. Don't tell her but start making phone calls to people in French so she can hear you then when she asks where you learnt to speak it just say you have no idea what she is talking on about and turn away. Don't let anyone else hear you speak French. Granted it will be a bit of graft but it will really fuck with her mind. And you learn a new language. Win win. 

 

Alternatively buy her some Veet. 

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Get me her address. She’s just booked herself a place on my Raoul Moat style list of people all over the country that are GETTING IT before I go full spastic.

 

So far it consists of my bird’s mum, my old next door neighbour, three people from Runcorn Old Town, some cunt Chairman Meow nominated and Stig’s ex in-laws. 
 

GETTING IT. 

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13 minutes ago, Mook said:

I'll provide some background on her...

 

French, late 30s, mother of two, her husband works about 6ft away from us in the office, 5/10 looks (no tits), takes great pleasure in correcting people all the time, lives in Fife (shithole) & wears crap shoes.

Dunker or non-dunker?

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