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Mook Needs You


Bjornebye
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18 minutes ago, Mook said:

I'll provide some background on her...

 

French, late 30s, mother of two, her husband works about 6ft away from us in the office, 5/10 looks (no tits), takes great pleasure in correcting people all the time, lives in Fife (shithole) & wears crap shoes.

 

Birkenstocks?  Patent leather?  Kittem heels?  Leopard skin print?

 

 

 

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26 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Get me her address. She’s just booked herself a place on my Raoul Moat style list of people all over the country that are GETTING IT before I go full spastic.

 

So far it consists of my bird’s mum, my old next door neighbour, three people from Runcorn Old Town, some cunt Chairman Meow nominated and Stig’s ex in-laws. 
 

GETTING IT. 

 

Well remembered! As I started reading that I remembered nominating someone for the list ages ago.

 

But I now can't remember who it was I nominated. I'm sure I can give you plenty of names when the time comes though. 

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What kind of fucking company comes up with a system that allows staff to essentially point score their colleagues work ? It's asking for trouble and I'm amazed that it's been allowed to happen. At the very least, it should be done by someone independent.

 

There's nowhere on this fucking planet that over some period of time, we don't rub colleagues up the wrong way. Some times it's over after a couple of days but some cunts never let go. This system in Mooks place is giving anyone who has, for whatever reason a grudge a snide way pull some nasty shit.

 

This fucking bitch is obviously on some sort of power trip and I don't think it's helping that her other half works in the same place.

 

Mark, I know it must be tempting but if you do the same to her, it'll only be seen as you looking for revenge and little or no attention will be paid to it. If it were me, I'd insist on listening to these phone calls yourself with your manager and an independent third party. It cant be right that your not given the chance to listen to the same stuff she has and given the chance to fight your corner.

 

There's a fuck load of ways you can get back at her. Personally I prefer mind games. 

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17 minutes ago, Aw Geez said:

Kill her parents, grind their carcass up into meat and make them into chilli. Feed her her parent chilli. Pretty sure I've seen that work out ok somewhere before.

Wasn't that from South Park?

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I can't think of anything funny, so I'll post some bullshit that I have learnt. 

 

I dunno the details but...

 

Keep to your principles. That's whats got you this far.

Don't change.

Don't drop to her level.

Keep smiling.

 

Join a union.

 

"meet with Triumph and Disaster

 And treat those two impostors just the same;"

 

Sorry for the wankiness.

 

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22 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

What kind of fucking company comes up with a system that allows staff to essentially point score their colleagues work ? It's asking for trouble and I'm amazed that it's been allowed to happen. At the very least, it should be done by someone independent.

 

There's nowhere on this fucking planet that over some period of time, we don't rub colleagues up the wrong way. Some times it's over after a couple of days but some cunts never let go. This system in Mooks place is giving anyone who has, for whatever reason a grudge a snide way pull some nasty shit.

 

This fucking bitch is obviously on some sort of power trip and I don't think it's helping that her other half works in the same place.

 

Mark, I know it must be tempting but if you do the same to her, it'll only be seen as you looking for revenge and little or no attention will be paid to it. If it were me, I'd insist on listening to these phone calls yourself with your manager and an independent third party. It cant be right that your not given the chance to listen to the same stuff she has and given the chance to fight your corner.

 

There's a fuck load of ways you can get back at her. Personally I prefer mind games. 

Aye, the system is bollocks & open to interpretation. The only thing I'll say for it is that I have the option to go in & listen to my call after it's been marked & state my case, which I have done today (& without counting my chickens, I think I've made her look like a bit of a cunt here).

 

I can't mark her work, she's in a slightly different position to the rest of the team & generally isn't taking calls so that revenge option is out.

 

I have taken this an attack on my livelihood & my family, it might be a wee power trip to her but it's my kids food on the table as far as I'm concerned so some serious thought will be going into how I am going to approach this.

 

As I said on the other thread, I wouldn't do this to my worst enemy, I'd maybe call them a prick on a night out but lying about people to get them into shit at work is scumbag behaviour.

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Just now, Mook said:

Aye, the system is bollocks & open to interpretation. The only thing I'll say for it is that I have the option to go in & listen to my call after it's been marked & state my case, which I have done today (& without counting my chickens, I think I've made her look like a bit of a cunt here).

 

I can't mark her work, she's in a slightly different position to the rest of the team & generally isn't taking calls so that revenge option is out.

 

I have taken this an attack on my livelihood & my family, it might be a wee power trip to her but it's my kids food on the table as far as I'm concerned so some serious thought will be going into how I am going to approach this.

 

As I said on the other thread, I wouldn't do this to my worst enemy, I'd maybe call them a prick on a night out but lying about people to get them into shit at work is scumbag behaviour.

Can you not go into some Game of Thrones shit and demand a trial by combat?

 

In all seriousness, if what you say is true and this goes into some kind of recorded review then she is going to be in a lot more trouble than you. In the modern working world - where mental health is so much more observed - it could be of benefit to remind your boss of everyone's responsibilty to ensure they are working in an environment that doesn't threaten that with calls to arms like reviewing a co-workers performance. And if there is no choice for them but ths policy, it should at least become policy where the accuser has as much to lose in the event of false claims as they have to gain in truthful ones.

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6 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Learn fluent French. Don't tell her but start making phone calls to people in French so she can hear you then when she asks where you learnt to speak it just say you have no idea what she is talking on about and turn away. Don't let anyone else hear you speak French. Granted it will be a bit of graft but it will really fuck with her mind. And you learn a new language. Win win. 

 

Alternatively buy her some Veet. 

A cheese eating surrender monkey is correcting a man who wears a skirt in the freezing cold whilst going commando? Whats this world of ours coming to?

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Not enough is being made of the fact that her husband works in the office too. That's where the real potential is. A set of sexy lingerie, not in her size and addressed to him, should set the ball rolling nicely. The rest I leave up to your imagination.

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1 minute ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

Not enough is being made of the fact that her husband works in the office too. That's where the real potential is. A set of sexy lingerie, not in her size and addressed to him, should set the ball rolling nicely. The rest I leave up to your imagination.

I like it.

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17 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Yeah Mook, SD is right about her fella. Fill him in. 

 

 

 

 

However you interpret that is up to you. 

I'll have to rape her husband, there's nothing else for it.

 

I forgot to mention he's a season ticket holder at Parkhead.

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37 minutes ago, Mook said:

I'll have to rape her husband, there's nothing else for it.

 

I forgot to mention he's a season ticket holder at Parkhead.

I don't think my allegiance could have switched any quicker, sorry Mook but you're clearly the cunt who can't do his job properly and doesn't like being told so 

 

 

marianne.jpg

 

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