Jump to content
  • Sign up for free and receive a month's subscription

    You are viewing this page as a guest. That means you are either a member who has not logged in, or you have not yet registered with us. Signing up for an account only takes a minute and it means you will no longer see this annoying box! It will also allow you to get involved with our friendly(ish!) community and take part in the discussions on our forums. And because we're feeling generous, if you sign up for a free account we will give you a month's free trial access to our subscriber only content with no obligation to commit. Register an account and then send a private message to @dave u and he'll hook you up with a subscription.

Mook Needs You


Bjornebye
 Share

Recommended Posts

He's one of our own. He is getting grief off a colleague in work. She's targeting him unfairly. The lad has a mortgage to pay, a family, cat & a mouse to feed, a record collection to keep alive and a collection of vintage football tops to fund. She's a threat to this. 

 

Lets collate our suggestions on how to deal with this absolute witch. 

 

Its Randle McMurphy versus Nurse Ratched. Getting its head bummed in is not an option unfortunately unless Col fancies a drive from Plymouth to Edinburgh. 

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

One I suggested to Remmie some years ago, once everyone is back in the office send her some flowers anonymously, all the women will crowd around and it'll be like 'oooh who are they off?' but the card will just say 'you're fat'. 

  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

He's one of our own. He is getting grief off a colleague in work. She's targeting him unfairly. The lad has a mortgage to pay, a family, cat & a mouse to feed, a record collection to keep alive and a collection of vintage football tops to fund. She's a threat to this. 

 

Lets collate our suggestions on how to deal with this absolute witch. 

 

Its Randle McMurphy versus Nurse Ratched. Getting its head bummed in is not an option unfortunately unless Col fancies a drive from Plymouth to Edinburgh. 

 

she's probably just wondering why the stapler smells of poo.

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

One I suggested to Remmie some years ago, once everyone is back in the office send her some flowers anonymously, all the women will crowd around and it'll be like 'oooh who are they off?' but the card will just say 'you're fat'. 

Ha ha, I like this one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Didn’t his last female boss hate him as well? Is there something he’s not telling us....

 

Joking aside, the shit she’s pulled on his call fails definitely needs sorting and I think the suggestion of opening a HR complaint is spot on.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Pistonbroke

Order a load of Pizza and tell the delivery boy to enter the office saying 'This is for all the hard working staff from 'Insert her name,' enjoy.' 

 

She'll either make a cunt of herself denying it or be left fuming inside. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

48 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

One I suggested to Remmie some years ago, once everyone is back in the office send her some flowers anonymously, all the women will crowd around and it'll be like 'oooh who are they off?' but the card will just say 'you're fat'. 

This was fucking genius and had it all set in place, a mate was going to play courier. But a day before another colleague lost his patience with the fucking gobshite in question and was worried about getting blamed and losing his job

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sign up to the local Facebook group that she belongs to using a fake profile, then post that she’s been breaking Coronavirus rules by having multiple blokes calling at all hours of the day and night and that the cars that keep dropping off suspicious packages all the time are disturbing your dogs.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll provide some background on her...

 

French, late 30s, mother of two, her husband works about 6ft away from us in the office, 5/10 looks (no tits), takes great pleasure in correcting people all the time, lives in Fife (shithole) & wears crap shoes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Mook said:

French, late 30s, mother of two, her husband works about 6ft away from us in the office, 5/10 looks (no tits), takes great pleasure in correcting people all the time, lives in Fife (shithole) & wears crap shoes.

I'm just off for a wank. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Learn fluent French. Don't tell her but start making phone calls to people in French so she can hear you then when she asks where you learnt to speak it just say you have no idea what she is talking on about and turn away. Don't let anyone else hear you speak French. Granted it will be a bit of graft but it will really fuck with her mind. And you learn a new language. Win win. 

 

Alternatively buy her some Veet. 

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Get me her address. She’s just booked herself a place on my Raoul Moat style list of people all over the country that are GETTING IT before I go full spastic.

 

So far it consists of my bird’s mum, my old next door neighbour, three people from Runcorn Old Town, some cunt Chairman Meow nominated and Stig’s ex in-laws. 
 

GETTING IT. 

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, Mook said:

I'll provide some background on her...

 

French, late 30s, mother of two, her husband works about 6ft away from us in the office, 5/10 looks (no tits), takes great pleasure in correcting people all the time, lives in Fife (shithole) & wears crap shoes.

Dunker or non-dunker?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...