THE TLW TAVERN (no virus talk allowed, just small talk pub bollocks)

[Dave D]

 

Hello mate, Ill have a double cinzano.

 

 

Funny weather, quite mild out really.

Clocks must go back soon. Or is it forward? I can never remember.

 

You been watching that programme with that Joanne Froggat in? Yeah, was on last night. I like her I do.

 

Quiet in here......pffffffftttt

 

 

Right, watch my drink for me, Im off for a shit      

  

[cloggypop]

[Elite]

"Can I have pint of watered down piss and a ploughman's lunch please?"

[VladimirIlyich]

Who's farted?

[elBooth]

You got any Steak McCoys?

[cloggypop]

Let's keep Stig away from the jukebox. 

[alles ist gut]

I put 5 quid in that juke box and it hasn’t played any of the Smurfs songs, bastards 

 

Is the Guinness still off? Shite

[Davelfc]

Got any light lager, one of those ones I can have some lime stuck in the bottle neck please?

[redinblack62]

Is it a proper pub, with Pork Pies, Pickled Eggs and Gherkins in jars?

[Dr Nowt]

Hi mate. Do you sell any Mexican lagers?

 

Not Sol though, thanks.

[Elite]

Can I speak to the landlord please?

 

Someone's had a shit in one of the urinals.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Stand back birds, it's the Hammersmith hard men!

[TheHowieLama]

54 minutes ago, Dave D said:

 

Right, watch my drink for me, Im off for a shit      

  

Go for it - There is no toilet roll.

[Davelfc]

Two pints and one of Betty's hot pot pies please. 

[Dave D]

2 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

Go for it - There is no toilet roll.

You could have told me before I went. Couldnt hold it in once I had my cacks down.

 

And the seat wasnt screwed on properly    

[Dave D]

That bird with Cloggypop could have it. Fnarr Fnarr

[Dave D]

Is it still a fiver deposit for the pool cues with no tips on ?  

[Dave D]

31 minutes ago, redinblack62 said:

Is it a proper pub, with Pork Pies, Pickled Eggs and Gherkins in jars?

No, sorry mate.

 

Boat loads of these though

[Dave D]

39 minutes ago, Philtrum said:

Got any light lager, one of those ones I can have some lime stuck in the bottle neck please?

This place is full of hipsters these days.

 

Ill have another Weihenstephan when your ready mate 

 

 

[Davelfc]

1 minute ago, Dave D said:

This place is full of hipsters these days.

 

Ill have another Weihenstephan when your ready mate 

 

 

Make that two, on me. 

[Elite]

"Here lads, barman's handing out reps like candy"

[alles ist gut]

Two pints, a large Scotch, one for yer self and can we have the racing on the telly? 

[Dougie Do'ins]

Got any change for the pool table mate ?

 

Is it coins on the table or names on the board ?

 

Old or new rules ?

 

E R mate. I was on next. 

 

You weren't here mate so I went on.

 

 

[tokyojoe]

Where's the bog?

[The Golden Eel]

I don't think it's really smart or clever to drink actually. I want to stay in control.