Tory Cabinet Thread

[Section_31]

3 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

You’d told her that you finished work at 5pm and only had one pint when you’d been in the pub since lunchtime. 
 

And you’d still make a better go of it than Gove. 

 

I jush had few drinks, jush few, Kev's nan's died.

[Bruce Spanner]

Imagine being as sexy as Micky Gove and newly single?

 

The world ain't ready for the crazy that mo'fucker about to bring.

[Barrington Womble]

4 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

My daughter now crowing "i told you this months ago !"

She's a big ITK on the Westminster Way it would seem. 

[magicrat]

Gove been shagging Cummings according to some on the twatosphere . Hope it's true but I'm traumatised by the mental pictures already. 

[Bjornebye]

16 minutes ago, magicrat said:

Gove been shagging Cummings according to some on the twatosphere . Hope it's true but I'm traumatised by the mental pictures already. 

Oh please. 

[Bjornebye]

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/my-husband-s-gay-affair-with-gove

 

A few weeks ago I discovered that while he should have been focused on the fight of his life during the referendum campaign, David Cameron was instead obsessing over whether or not his justice secretary, Michael Gove, had had an affair with my husband, Dom Cummings, campaign director of Vote Leave.

 

The story was in the Mail on Sunday, who eked it out across two consecutive issues. On week one it kept Dom and Michael’s names under wraps (for ethical reasons, it said) but revealed the source of the thrilling bit of gossip to be an aide of Cameron’s called Gavin Williamson (now Chief Whip). Williamson had, said the MoS, dashed into No. 10 ‘in the heat of the bitter EU campaign’ to deliver news of the fling to the PM.

 

Even before I knew Dom was one of the Brokeback Brexiteers this seemed a very curious tale. What could have made Williamson so sure? Why did he rush to tell the PM, ‘in the heat of the campaign’? The story was written as if somehow Williamson thought a gay romance shed light on the otherwise inexplicable success of Vote Leave. Perhaps he imagined they were all fuelled by homoerotic passion in the manner of the Spartans.

 

The following week the MoS, recovered from its bout of ethics, printed the names of the secret lovers and I felt an odd mix of emotions. First sadness, that it wasn’t a more exciting revelation, then a glimmer of understanding, followed by a feeling of anxious shame which has stayed with me ever since.

 

Cameron's position on the matter, I've heard it said, is simply that 'Gove chose the wrong DC'

The understanding was about what might have been Williamson’s motive. Not then, nor now, does David Cameron accept that his pal Gove — a lifelong Eurosceptic — chose to campaign for Leave for the sake of his country. Cameron’s position on the matter, I’ve heard it said, is simply that ‘Gove chose the wrong DC’, Dominic C over David C, and that for this crime he will be forever dead to Dave. So what if Williamson, in the manner of all successful courtiers, was simply telling his leader what he thought he wanted to hear: an explanation as to how the ‘wrong’ DC could ever be preferred? This all makes Cameron’s No. 10 sound like teenage group chat on WhatsApp. If the young knew what really makes a modern Tory tick, they might identify with them more.

 

But though he (allegedly) spread lies about my husband, though he conjured images I will never quite recover from, I can’t be too cross with this Gavin — and here’s where the shame comes in. Over the past few decades I must have heard many dozens of stories about politicians or actors being secretly gay. Magazines, newspapers, the internet are full of them. Gay rumours follow like vapour trails in the wake of any star: in politics, sport, Hollywood, and I’ve never before paused for long enough to wonder if they’re nonsense. I’ve thought: no smoke without some romantic spark, and more often than not passed them on.

 

But what if almost all of the endless ‘insider’ stories about secretly gay celebs are as bogus as the Dom/Gove story?

 

It’s a rare political leader who isn’t ‘known’ to be homosexual by someone or other — excepting Cameron, for some reason, who perhaps doesn’t have the imagination to be gay.

 

 

There’s many who’ll swear Obama’s marriage is a sham, and that he was a frequent visitor to gay saunas in his Chicago days. He’s believed, among the sorts who think him a secret Muslim, to have had a fling with the very straight, very married mayor of Chicago, Rahm Emanuel.

 

I interviewed the late fat chef Clarissa Dickson Wright a few years before she died, and she told me that she believed Tony Blair to have had gay relationships. They moved in the same circles at the Bar in the 1970s, she claimed, and his nickname was ‘Miranda’. Why? ‘Because of The Tempest — you know, when Miranda says: “How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,/ That has such people in ’t.”’ It didn’t previously occur to me, even through the Wendi Deng affair, that this might be entirely untrue.

 

And what of all the whispering about the supposedly secret sexuality of William Hague, which eventually forced an embarrassing and sincere public denial? I spent my formative years in journalism as a gossip columnist and barely a month went by without my editor including a little paragraph on Hague’s ‘friendship’ with Seb Coe. Why did they practise judo so often, we wondered pathetically in print.

 

It’s all just utter cobblers, isn’t it? Is Tom Cruise straight? Is George Clooney’s marriage for real? What about John Travolta? What’s behind this great yearning need of ours for famous men and women to be gay?

 

There’s certainly nothing moral about all this fictitious ‘outing’. It’s not that we’re all intent on a healthy flinging open of all the closet doors because — what would be the need? There was a time when homosexual stars laid low for fear of suffering professionally; perhaps some politicians still do. But in 2016, in the West, all and any sexuality is increasingly a-OK. In the world of fashion and music, it’s decidedly cooler for a young star to be pansexual than narrow-mindedly straight.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

9 hours ago, magicrat said:

Gove been shagging Cummings according to some on the twatosphere . Hope it's true but I'm traumatised by the mental pictures already. 

I hope it's not true.

 

There's something about a person who has been trapped into living a lie about their sexuality finally coming out and being able to be who they truly are that usually demands empathy, compassion & even a bit of respect.  I don't want to waste any of that stuff on a hateful toxin like Gove.

[Mudface]

Christ, I hope there isn't a video. The new Lemon Party.

[Section_31]

Cambridge anal-ytica.

[magicrat]

10 hours ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I hope it's not true.

 

There's something about a person who has been trapped into living a lie about their sexuality finally coming out and being able to be who they truly are that usually demands empathy, compassion & even a bit of respect.  I don't want to waste any of that stuff on a hateful toxin like Gove.

I could manage to apply double standards where Gove is concerned . Fuck knows he has the same his whole career.

 

My inner cunt hopes it's true. 

[Bruce Spanner]

Gove has been putting it about for years, but you’re fishing in the wrong pond, sadly.

 

EDIT: This is how sad it is. Comms teams have been told to counter brief against Gove circling for leadership and this is the best they can come up with.

[magicrat]

5 minutes ago, magicrat said:

I could manage to apply double standards where Gove is concerned . Fuck knows he has done the same his whole career.

 

My inner cunt hopes it's true. 

 

[Elite]

8 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Gove has been putting it about for years, but you’re fishing in the wrong pond, sadly.

 

EDIT: This is how sad it is. Comms teams have been told to counter brief against Gove circling for leadership and this is the best they can come up with.

It's probably a good job he's gay, men aren't as fussy as women and he's one proper ugly cunt.

[Bruce Spanner]

Just now, Elite said:

It's probably a good job he's gay, men aren't as fussy as women and he's one proper ugly cunt.

Gay?

[Bruce Spanner]

‘A smart wife of a powerful man knows that he’s going to fuck around. So, she lets him fuck stupid, vacuous, physically attractive women as she’ll always be able to point out their flaws to him. It protects her, more than him.’

 

Elizabeth Roosevelt.

[Elite]

7 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Gay?

That was my assumption based off fuck all!

[Bruce Spanner]

4 minutes ago, Elite said:

That was my assumption based off fuck all!

As I said previously counter briefing is taking place as the wagons are starting to circle and it’s sad that they’ve gone down the ‘He’s a gayer’ route, though our PM is who he is.

 

Is Gove gay, not sure, he may have slept with men, yes.

 

Has he had affairs, yes, with women known to his wife…

[Bruce Spanner]

This will be Tory policy within a month or two…

 

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2021/jul/03/keir-starmer-takes-on-tories-with-buy-british-economic-plan

[Colonel Bumcunt]

56 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

As I said previously counter briefing is taking place as the wagons are starting to circle and it’s sad that they’ve gone down the ‘He’s a gayer’ route, though our PM is who he is.

 

Is Gove gay, not sure, he may have slept with men, yes.

 

Has he had affairs, yes, with women known to his wife…

I don't feel a leadership bid is in the offing, Sarah Vine would have put-up with anything to keep the band together if he was trying for PM. 

He can't do it now, too easy for his rivals to paint the picture of a 'brilliant but troubled man' or such like.  

[Rico1304]

12 hours ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I hope it's not true.

 

There's something about a person who has been trapped into living a lie about their sexuality finally coming out and being able to be who they truly are that usually demands empathy, compassion & even a bit of respect.  I don't want to waste any of that stuff on a hateful toxin like Gove.

If he comes out as trans I’d expect you to combust. 

[Elite]

6 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

If he comes out as trans I’d expect you to combust. 

Imagine Gove in a dress. Christ, doesn't bear thinking about.

[Rico1304]

4 minutes ago, Elite said:

Imagine Gove in a dress. Christ, doesn't bear thinking about.

(Mmm)

[Rico1304]

10 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

He moved out to live with his boyfriend months ago apparently. His best option is a tearful “I’ve been living a lie my whole life ” piece to Breakfast telly but I’m not sure the electorate are ready for a gay Tory PM with a proper coke habit. Sarah knows a lot more than she’s letting on. I think that’s his career over. Boris can father 10 plus kids but if you prefer chaps and Charlie that’s not acceptable. I don’t make the rules. 

‘Chaps and Charlie’ - genius

[lifetime fan]

39 minutes ago, Elite said:

Imagine Gove in a dress. Christ, doesn't bear thinking about.

No one ever needs to imagine that you sick cunt. 
 

Negged. 

[cloggypop]

44 minutes ago, Elite said:

Imagine Gove in a dress. Christ, doesn't bear thinking about.

Can't do better than a skirt, soz.