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Tory Cabinet Thread


Bjornebye
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From the GLP.

 

'We are pleased to announce that our judicial review with Runnymede over the Government’s practice of handing public sector jobs to its mates without open recruitment has been granted permission. We will have our day in Court.

 

The story we tell ourselves is that these things don’t happen here. That the handing out of important roles to friends, without competition, is something for abroad. But the pandemic has exposed that as a fairytale. In the real world, we are now a “chumocracy” where having the right friends matters as much or more than having the right skills.

 

Since the start of the pandemic, Government has created a number of new bodies whose leaders fall outside the usual public appointment regime. Many of the roles have gone to those personally connected to the Conservative Party.  The most high profile was the appointment of Dido Harding as Chair of NHS Test and Trace. A sitting Conservative Peer, wife of a Conservative MP and friend of former Prime Minister David Cameron, Harding didn’t pip other candidates to the post at the interview. There were no other candidates. The Test and Trace programme – with a budget of a staggering £37bn – has consistently failed to meet its targets and is widely and rightly perceived as a disaster.

 

Harding is far from the only friend of the Conservative Party to land a top public sector job. Kate Bingham, wife of Tory MP and Treasury Minister, Jesse Norman and cousin by marriage of Rachel Johnson, was appointed Chair of the Vaccine Taskforce. The vaccine programme is a success but that no more vindicates the chumocracy than Harding’s failure damns it. 

 

The principle – that we should be appointing on the basis of talent rather than relationships – remains the same. Our public bodies perform vital functions. They must always be run by the people who are best placed to do the job. In response to our lawyers’ correspondence asking Ministers to reveal how and why certain individuals, including Harding, were chosen to lead vital public health bodies, Government has admitted the roles were not openly advertised. 

 

It’s hard to put it better than the Commissioner for Public Appointments: “… some at the centre of government want not only to have the final say but to tilt the competition system in their favour to appoint their allies…”

 

This is not the Britain we should be.

 

We will publish the date for our High Court hearing as soon as it is available.'

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I wrote this just over a week ago for a political audience; of course it was written as satire but the last paragraph looks like it could have been lifted from today's racism report.

 

Why you should vote Conservative

Poor people... well, they're a bit shit, aren't they? If you haven't got money you must have done something wrong in life. If we had to feed, clothe and house every idle layabout who couldn't be bothered to tap daddy for an interest-free million pound loan to start their own interior decorating business, then some of us would never be able to afford that second chalet in Klosters.

The poor simply need to be incentivised to become productive members of society, and while we know that wealthy people are incentivised by being given more money, we also know that the poor are incentivised by having money withdrawn from them.

Inheritance tax is simply wrong. My grandparents worked very hard to buy that property which rocketed 1200% in value through nothing more than dumb luck, and the idea that I should have to pay a sliver of the money realised when it is sold is abominable. Get your own wealthy relatives you lazy peasants!

For too long the EU has been a shackle around our ankles, a German plot to rob us of our sovereignty, and that's why we are better off out. True British sovereignty lies with one person and one person only, and that is Her Majesty the Queen. Nothing says truly British like Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Glucksburg-Battenberg.

We aren't tough enough on criminals. The death penalty needs to be brought back for murderers, because killing people is simply wrong. And drug dealers need to be publicly flogged. Drugs simply have no place in our society, as I was saying to the chaps at the club over brandy and cigars last week.

The NHS is a great British institution, which is why we need to sell the profitable bits off to the Americans. Our doctors and nurses work so hard to save lives, and they need to be properly rewarded, with a round of applause every week. Some may say a pay rise of more than 1% is merited, but the country just can't afford it. Especially after spending £37 billion on track and trace. Priorities, people.

For too long teachers have been permitted to spread their communist propaganda unchallenged in our schools. Children need to learn about how great the British Empire was. After all, if we hadn't subjugated a third of the globe, many of these ethnic children wouldn't even be here. Really they should be thanking us for enslaving their ancestors so their descendants could enjoy the benefits of our bountiful civilisation.

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3 minutes ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

I wrote this just over a week ago for a political audience; of course it was written as satire but the last paragraph looks like it could have been lifted from today's racism report.

 

Why you should vote Conservative

Poor people... well, they're a bit shit, aren't they? If you haven't got money you must have done something wrong in life. If we had to feed, clothe and house every idle layabout who couldn't be bothered to tap daddy for an interest-free million pound loan to start their own interior decorating business, then some of us would never be able to afford that second chalet in Klosters.

The poor simply need to be incentivised to become productive members of society, and while we know that wealthy people are incentivised by being given more money, we also know that the poor are incentivised by having money withdrawn from them.

Inheritance tax is simply wrong. My grandparents worked very hard to buy that property which rocketed 1200% in value through nothing more than dumb luck, and the idea that I should have to pay a sliver of the money realised when it is sold is abominable. Get your own wealthy relatives you lazy peasants!

For too long the EU has been a shackle around our ankles, a German plot to rob us of our sovereignty, and that's why we are better off out. True British sovereignty lies with one person and one person only, and that is Her Majesty the Queen. Nothing says truly British like Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Glucksburg-Battenberg.

We aren't tough enough on criminals. The death penalty needs to be brought back for murderers, because killing people is simply wrong. And drug dealers need to be publicly flogged. Drugs simply have no place in our society, as I was saying to the chaps at the club over brandy and cigars last week.

The NHS is a great British institution, which is why we need to sell the profitable bits off to the Americans. Our doctors and nurses work so hard to save lives, and they need to be properly rewarded, with a round of applause every week. Some may say a pay rise of more than 1% is merited, but the country just can't afford it. Especially after spending £37 billion on track and trace. Priorities, people.

For too long teachers have been permitted to spread their communist propaganda unchallenged in our schools. Children need to learn about how great the British Empire was. After all, if we hadn't subjugated a third of the globe, many of these ethnic children wouldn't even be here. Really they should be thanking us for enslaving their ancestors so their descendants could enjoy the benefits of our bountiful civilisation.

Excellent. 

 

Incidentally Kurtz wrote that word for word on the bogs with lipstick in his local. It wasn't satire. 

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6 minutes ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

Tory on Newsnight chatting too much shit for the BBC to stomach.

 

 

They just won’t answer a question will they “what I said was......” then mumbles fumbles and deflects 

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2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

They just won’t answer a question will they “what I said was......” then mumbles fumbles and deflects 

I suppose if you've spent years telling yourself that working class women are having babies just to claim benefits and that smelly forrins are swarming over here for benefits, it's not a big leap to say "people will spread Covid for £500".

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2 minutes ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

I suppose if you've spent years telling yourself that working class women are having babies just to claim benefits and that smelly forrins are swarming over here for benefits, it's not a big leap to say "people will spread Covid for £500".

That certain ilk mate. Utter scum 

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6 minutes ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

I suppose if you've spent years telling yourself that working class women are having babies just to claim benefits and that smelly forrins are swarming over here for benefits, it's not a big leap to say "people will spread Covid for £500".

 

I was listening to some analyisis of the news that only 1 in 5 will opt for a test if they have symptoms. They went on to compare different systems around the world and apart from the obvious T&T, isolating etc. Their big take away was that England, especially, has not made it viable for those on the lowest income/Zero hour contracts to isolate whereas the most successful countries have and, as we all know, the results show.

 

So, in reality the opposite of what the chump above says is true.

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11 minutes ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

I suppose if you've spent years telling yourself that working class women are having babies just to claim benefits and that smelly forrins are swarming over here for benefits, it's not a big leap to say "people will spread Covid for £500".

 

Victim blaming. The fact you can't feed your kid is nothing to do with the fact I uphold, and benefit from, a society that's structured in a way to funnel all the wealth away from you and people like you into our pockets. Therefore there are two solutions, I either make it possible for you to earn a fair wage, or blame you for not forgoing the right to procreate. I choose the latter.

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29 minutes ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

Tory on Newsnight chatting too much shit for the BBC to stomach.

 

 

It's the Tories in a nutshell though isn't it? It's always about "them" - whether that be scroungers, immigrants etc. While they, of course, represent "you" and are here to defend "you" against the "them" that they have invented. It's the platform that the fuckers get elected on every single time.

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7 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

It's the Tories in a nutshell though isn't it? It's always about "them" - whether that be scroungers, immigrants etc. While they, of course, represent "you" and are here to defend "you" against the "them" that they have invented. It's the platform that the fuckers get elected on every single time.

 

It's interesting, I don't know if it's psychological or a cultural acceptance thing, but what's basicslly happened is people are happy to agrandise themselves at the expense of others, but they can't admit it, maybe it's a 'self worth' thing, like the way bank robbers rationalise what they've done with "at least I'm not a paedophile" type banter, they often can never just say "I'm a criminal, I put my needs above the safety and quality of life of my victims and I'm happy to do so."

 

Or whether it's a culture thing, that in a "Christian" country you still can't really publicly admit that you're happy to break other people's eggs to make your own omelette, so everything has to be window dressed. That's where the idea of the deserving poor comes from. You made me hit you.

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11 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

It's the Tories in a nutshell though isn't it? It's always about "them" - whether that be scroungers, immigrants etc. While they, of course, represent "you" and are here to defend "you" against the "them" that they have invented. It's the platform that the fuckers get elected on every single time.

What a country.

What a society.

What an electorate.

What a government.

What a fucking shitfest.

 

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