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Featured: That was the week that was (Jan 18-24 2020)


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Saturday Jan 18:

 

Klopp says we have ‘more natural enemies’ than other clubs and uses the example of St James’ Park last season (where Newcastle players and fans were frothing at the mouth trying to beat us) to emphasise his point. This is the kind of thing we as fans notice and comment on, but it says a lot about Jurgen that he recognises it too even though he completely avoids social media and all that shite.

 

Even he can see that all these fuckers were so desperate to see us not win the league, but it makes it all the sweeter this time. I do think it will change once we finally win it. To be fair, I understand it to a degree. This silly ‘not won the Premier League’ thing is one of the few weapons opposing fans can use against us. There’s very little else for them to taunt us with so naturally they don't want to lose it.

 

It’s so fucking stupid though, particularly the Leicester thing where they’ll sing to us, Everton and Villa “Champions of England, you’ll never sing that”. I don’t get this whole ‘Premier League’ bollocks at all. How is it any different to the League Cup? That competition has changed names loads of times too, but we don’t always have to hear about how Liverpool have ‘never won the Carabao Cup’ do we? 

 

It’s fucking stupid but in a few months it’s not going to matter anyway because they won’t have that stick to beat us with anymore. Not even City can live with us anymore and today he Hodge put one over on ‘Pep’ once again as Palace snatched a hilarious draw at the Etihad thanks to a stoppage time own goal from Fernandinho. 

 

It’s mad how they always seem to give City so much trouble. As a rule, City roll over shite ‘park the bus’ type teams with ease but for some reason Hodgson’s prehistoric approach tends to work against them.

 

Elsewhere today, Rhian Brewster got his first goal for Swansea. Good to see, hopefully that’s the first of many.

 

Meanwhile, ‘Big Sexy’ is being linked with the Blues. That’s just not going to happen, surely? Emre Can has a high opinion of himself and making a move like this would be like Scott ditching Charlene and then a couple of years later shacking up with Mrs Mangle. There’s no way his ego would allow it, even if they made him a stupid offer.

 

Sunday Jan 19: 

 

L 2 Man Utd 0 Mixed feelings. Happy we won, frustrated we didn’t embarrass the shit bastards and dish out the kind of hammering that will haunt them for generations. It’s coming. It’s only a matter of time before we put five or six past them as the gulf between the sides hasn’t been greater since we were in different divisions.

 

These things go in cycles and now it’s our turn. It’s mad when you look at that United squad now and realise just how fucking woeful it is. There’s a handful of good players, a collection of bang average ones and Rashford is the only genuine star they have. Greenwood might become one too, but when you compare them to us now it’s just night and day. 

 

There’s a thirty point gap but by the end of the season it’ll be closer to fifty because they’re hopeless. We utterly dominated them today but the one ‘weakness’ you could maybe say we have was evident again as we didn’t kill them off and then had to work much harder in the closing stages than we should have. If we become more adept at getting that second goal to give us breathing room then we’ll start hammering teams. 

 

Mind you, if we were to become more clinical then maybe the Premier League would have to introduce a handicap system to keep things competitive. Maybe make the strikers only shoot with their wrong foot, or have Virg play blindfolded or something? We’d still win 75% of our games.

 

Meanwhile, we’re being linked with Timo Werner again. This is going to be one of those where we’re linked with him in every transfer window for about six years until he eventually signs for someone else and it turns out we were never even interested in him in the first place. I’m not basing that on anything other than a gut feeling, and the fact that we’re signing Mbappe so there’s no room for him here anyway.

 

 

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"There you have it, the only thing that moves slower than Matic’s legs is his brain. He’s like a fucking brontosaurus. All legs and neck with a brain the size of a sparrow’s bollock."

 

Choked on my dinner reading that. Imagine supporting a team with Matic, Phil Jones and Harry Maguire. They'd get in the Flintstones First XI. 

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I,too, noticed Ole saying ‘Liverpool, a team YOU all call fantastic’ to the journos. Snidey little prick. 
Sorry Dave, I can’t stand him, never have. Of course I love how he’s bringing the mancs down but I still can’t love him!

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Possibly my favourite bit about Ole is this inversion of the old “Well it took Ferguson 7 years to win the league” we’ve all heard in the past, now being used about Klopp. To justify keeping a YTS boy in the United top job. That wheel currently in the goblin’s hand has truly turned full circle.

 

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On 25/01/2020 at 18:52, johnsusername said:

"There you have it, the only thing that moves slower than Matic’s legs is his brain. He’s like a fucking brontosaurus. All legs and neck with a brain the size of a sparrow’s bollock."

 

Choked on my dinner reading that. Imagine supporting a team with Matic, Phil Jones and Harry Maguire. They'd get in the Flintstones First XI. 

They'd have to get past Bamm Bamm & Pebbles to do that

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On 25/01/2020 at 20:32, dave u said:

United and Everton covered in the round up. Didn't want to repeat myself.

Okay - but you can't just leave Wednesday out of the diary for a week.

Anyway, If Wednesday had appeared I would have expected some mention of Bronto-Matic, Big strides United and short-armed Pickford at least.

It would have been like a Biology class.

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On 29/01/2020 at 12:39, StevieMax said:

Okay - but you can't just leave Wednesday out of the diary for a week.

Anyway, If Wednesday had appeared I would have expected some mention of Bronto-Matic, Big strides United and short-armed Pickford at least.

It would have been like a Biology class.

I think you'll find that when you are 'the Guv'ner' you can fuck Wednesday off whenever you want.

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32 minutes ago, dave u said:

Did I miss Wednesday out completely? 

 

I defo wrote something for it, but half of it was on the laptop and half was on my desktop mac. I pasted one into the other but must have missed off Wednesday.

The modern day equivalent of "the dog ate my homework, sir"

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