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Coronavirus


Bjornebye

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I don't normally like John crace, but he's been alright through this virus. Another one ripping the shit out of the latest daily update. 

 

Fall guy Shapps takes turn to promote UK as 'world beater' in stupidity | John Crace

 

A few days ago, the prime minister announced that he was doing away with the daily coronavirus briefings at weekends. It was just getting too hard to find cabinet ministers who were prepared to give up their Saturdays and Sundays – even the ever loyal “cut out and keep” Tory boy pastiche, Robert Jenrick, was playing hard to get – and Boris Johnson sure as hell couldn’t be bothered to do it himself.

It can’t be long before No 10 pursues its dream of reducing the number still further, if Thursday’s showing is anything to go by. One – two at a push – a week would be just about ideal. A win-win situation that would cut the workload and save the daily embarrassment of a minister having to explain that the government really didn’t have much of a clue what it was doing and was just making up policy on the hoof.

This is no reflection on Grant Shapps, the delegated fall guy for Thursday’s press briefing. Shapps may not be the brightest kid on the block, but he’s always been one of the more enthusiastic and by cabinet standards has so far had a reasonable coronavirus war. He’s by and large managed to curb his natural tendency to smile when reading out the death statistics and he’s put in more than his fair share of shifts in trying to make news out of something that is either a non-event or a government PR disaster.

But even the transport secretary is now running on fumes. The sheer pointlessness of his existence is now getting to him. And understandably so. Though he tries to maintain the jaunty, upbeat exterior of a man who just can’t wait to upgrade the A66, his shoulders are now permanently slumped and he looks dead behind the eyes. Too much more of this and he’s going to crack and do a runner. Luckily he’s got plenty of aliases lined up for his new life. Bye, bye Grant. Hello Michael Green.

Having rattled through a few slides – astonishingly the one that showed that on the previous day the UK death total had been higher than the rest of the EU27 combined had gone missing – Shapps moved on to his “breaking news” announcement. It had just come to his attention that there was a nasty disease called coronavirus going round, so from 15 June – might as well let a few more people die rather than doing it immediately – everyone on public transport was going to have to wear face coverings.

Well, hello. Not only had many people, including London’s mayor, Sadiq Khan, been calling for such measures for weeks now, most other countries had made it law a month ago. But Grant was adamant. The UK had a reputation to maintain as the country that took measures long after they had become blindingly obvious to everyone else. It was this kind of inaction that made the UK a “world beater” in international stupidity.

Still, Shapps could see some light at the end of the tunnel. One way out of these daily press briefings would be simply to broadcast those of other European countries that had taken place weeks ago. Just imagine the possibilities. Rather than wasting his time today, we could have replayed the press conference of a month ago in which the Spanish transport secretary announced the compulsory wearing of face masks on public transport only dubbed into English with Grant’s voice. Put like this, no minister would ever need to appear in public again.

There was a caveat, though. Face coverings alone wouldn’t be enough to stop the coronavirus, so it was still necessary for people not to make unnecessary journeys, and to work from home wherever possible. This from a man who had literally queued for 90 minutes on Tuesday afternoon to take part in a vote to deny fellow MPs from having a vote or taking part in parliamentary proceedings because they had health issues, caring responsibilities, large distance to travel or were self-isolating. And all this just to indulge Jacob Rees-Mogg’s ongoing public school fantasies of entitled omnipotence.

Even when challenged on this by journalists, Shapps didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong in the government implementing a three-line whip to break its own public health guidelines and put MPs and parliamentary staff at risk. “Er,” said Shapps. “We were getting behind with secondary legislation.” Then learn to use a Zoom meeting like almost everyone in the country. There’s nothing to stop a committee of MPs from scrutinising legislation online. But what Jakey wants, Jakey must have. After all, whose fault is it if you don’t have a second London home and a fleet of nannies?

Grant had no answer to any of the other questions. He didn’t know what advice the government may have for BAME people. He didn’t know why we had still been sending hospital patients into care homes without being tested in the middle of April.

There was just time for the transport secretary to make it clear that no one was going anywhere anytime soon. Either home or abroad. For a start, people were forbidden from staying overnight in another home so UK holidays were out the question. And there was no point in people getting worked up about Priti Patel having introduced a quarantine on air travel at least six weeks too late at a time when it would be largely ineffective, because government advice was that no one should go anywhere by air anyway. So all summer holidays were cancelled and no harm had been done. That was the brilliance of having someone really stupid as home secretary.

Shapps quickly curtailed any other questions. The Italian transport secretary was due on TV in a few minutes and it would be handy for him to know what he would be announcing in a month or so’s time.

 
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10 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

@dave u will be alright. 
 

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/global-health/science-and-disease/bald-men-higher-risk-severe-case-covid-19-research-finds/

 

Bald men may be at higher risk of suffering from severe Covid-19 symptoms, emerging evidence suggests

Pray for Dougie.

1 hour ago, Red Phoenix said:

 

If it turns out he has it (and I hope he hasn't) they'll probably just say the first test was faulty, even if it wasn't.

Tested negative.

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6 minutes ago, Spy Bee said:

ONS figures showing infection rates have plummeted. You're now statistically as likely to stand in dogpoo four times on one three mile walk, as you are to contract Covid.

They say there are between 26- 55K new infections per week, with an average of 39K. It might have plummeted, but it's still damn high.

 

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/conditionsanddiseases/bulletins/coronaviruscovid19infectionsurveypilot/5june2020

 

3. Number of new COVID-19 cases in England




There was an estimated average of 39,000 new COVID-19 infections per week in England
Based on results of people tested throughout the study period, which began on 26 April 2020, we estimate that there were 0.07 new infections per 100 people followed for one week (95% confidence interval: 0.05 to 0.10). This would represent an average of 39,000 new infections per week for people living in private-residential households in the community in England since the study began (95% confidence interval: 26,000 to 55,000). It is important to note that the analysis in this section relates to a different, albeit overlapping, time period to the analysis of the total number of people in England who have the coronavirus (COVID-19) presented in Section 2. This means the numbers cannot be directly compared.

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Mudface said:

They say there are between 26- 55K new infections per week, with an average of 39K. It might have plummeted, but it's still damn high.

 

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/conditionsanddiseases/bulletins/coronaviruscovid19infectionsurveypilot/5june2020

 

 

 

 

 

0.6% of the population get it every week. 

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Well, this is a surprise- https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jun/05/wellness-advocates-used-to-talk-about-bali-trips-and-coconut-oilnow-its-bill-gates-and-5g

 

'Evil forces': how Covid-19 paranoia united the wellness industry and rightwing conspiracy theorists

 

Who would have thought that one bunch of credulous believers in pseudo-scientific woo would be so compatible with another bunch keen to promote pseudo-scientific conspiracy theories.

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9 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Well, this is a surprise- https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jun/05/wellness-advocates-used-to-talk-about-bali-trips-and-coconut-oilnow-its-bill-gates-and-5g

 

 

 

 

Who would have thought that one bunch of credulous believers in pseudo-scientific woo would be so compatible with another bunch keen to promote pseudo-scientific conspiracy theories.

Me Mrs's sister was sharing a snapchat message from her local pharmacist a couple of months back saying 'autopsies in China have revealed you should drink plenty of hot tea as it stops the virus settling in your throat, allowing it to be destroyed by stomach acid'. 

 

A fucking pharmacist, it was on their facebook page at one point but disappeared hopefully after law enforcement became involved. 

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2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Me Mrs's sister was sharing a snapchat message from her local pharmacist a couple of months back saying 'autopsies in China have revealed you should drink plenty of hot tea as it stops the virus settling in your throat, allowing it to be destroyed by stomach acid'. 

 

A fucking pharmacist, it was on their facebook page at one point but disappeared hopefully after law enforcement became involved. 

My ex missus shared that, and she's an ICU nurse.

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2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Me Mrs's sister was sharing a snapchat message from her local pharmacist a couple of months back saying 'autopsies in China have revealed you should drink plenty of hot tea as it stops the virus settling in your throat, allowing it to be destroyed by stomach acid'. 

 

A fucking pharmacist, it was on their facebook page at one point but disappeared hopefully after law enforcement became involved. 

Sounds a bit similar to that bullshit that was doing the rounds when this first started, supposedly written by a 'nurse from Birmingham'.

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8 minutes ago, Aw Geez said:

Yea my gf regurgitated that teea theory to me and was drinking tea around the clock. I told her it obviously wasn't true and to stop making me endless cups of tea I wasn't going to drink. She kept at it though.

 

But she hasn't had Covid-19 yet, PROOF

Real shame the cure wasn't supposed to be blowjobs instead. 

 

I dabbled in some Chinese medicine about 20 years ago for my IBS, it was tea that tasted so bad you could only drink it in sips, it'd take about 40 minutes to drink a cup and obviously didn't work as I still shit like a trouper. Give me pharmaceuticals any day. 

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4 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

If only Mark Fowler had known, he could have put some Horlicks on his cock. 

Made me chuckle..!

 

My twopenneth - if this virus was as deadly to all as, I dunno, ebola, then a lockdown would be justified.

 

Given some scientists think that 70% of the infected never know they have it and that your chances of hospitalisation or worse, dying from it, are very very small, I think placing onerous restrictions on the lives of everyone is the wrong policy. 

 

In my view the weak and vulnerable should have been shielded while everyone else got on with their lives but used sensible and proportionate precautions (such as those dirty bastards who don't wash their hands after using the bog learning to wash their hands more frequently). 

 

The herd immunity sounded the right way to me. Instead we now have a shattered economy.

 

Haven't read any of this thread and I don't intend to - I just dipped in for the first time for a long time.

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2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Real shame the cure wasn't supposed to be blowjobs instead. 

 

I dabbled in some Chinese medicine about 20 years ago for my IBS, it was tea that tasted so bad you could only drink it in sips, it'd take about 40 minutes to drink a cup and obviously didn't work as I still shit like a trouper. Give me pharmaceuticals any day. 

 

yea these bullshit home remedy, old wives tales bollocks was fine before science. But there is no need for it any more as we actually have things that work, or teams of geniuses trying to work on things that will work. Just because Karen had a kitkat and felt better for a few mins doesn't mean it cures PMS.

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34 minutes ago, Spy Bee said:

0.6% of the population get it every week. 

The point is more whether the track and trace system will be able to work. No idea what percentage of those cases will be symptomatic, but just on the daily data, we're looking at 7-8K per week new infection. Could track and trace cope with that number and get their contacts isolated?

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17 minutes ago, Mudface said:

The point is more whether the track and trace system will be able to work. No idea what percentage of those cases will be symptomatic, but just on the daily data, we're looking at 7-8K per week new infection. Could track and trace cope with that number and get their contacts isolated?

Tories and Serco - not a fucking chance it ever works!

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