Coronavirus

[Section_31]

He went for a drive with his wife to test his eyes as he thought he was going blind. Absolute scenes.

[Captain Turdseye]

Eyesight is bad. Let’s drive half an hour and see if it improves. 

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

All this needs is a "the rent boy slipped and inadvertently landed on my penis" type excuse. 

[Guest]

The kid needed a piss, so we let him piss in the woods. Covid-19 splashes all over the trees.

[cloggypop]

1 minute ago, Section_31 said:

He went for a drive with his wife to test his eyes as he thought he was going blind. Absolute scenes.

Can he sweat? 

[Bjornebye]

If questions are allowed (he is doing his best to get as close to 5pm) then I expect Laura K to ask him where he got that shirt from 

 

EDIT: Surprised, she asked a semi-difficult one 

[Stouffer]

Load of old shite.

[Anubis]

This is a farce. If he doesn't go we need to revert to the 1700's and have a mob drag them both (Cummings and Johnson) out of Downing Street, strip them to their undies, and whip them with towels down the M20 telling them not to come back.

[torahboy]

He was in bed with the Prime Minister?

[Tj hooker]

Hahaha laura up 1st who would have thought it 

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

If questions are allowed (he is doing his best to get as close to 5pm) then I expect Laura K to ask him where he got that shirt from 

He's trying to iron this shit out with the press. He should have ironed his shirt out with the press.

[Captain Turdseye]

Pre-approved questions. Well I never. 

[Scooby Dudek]

7 minutes ago, Scooby Dudek said:

Worried for the safety of his wife and child due to bad people on twitter. 

 

Mentioned three times now, plus obviously couldn't tell anyone as his parents would be attacked as well.

 

If only we didn't life in a world where people bullied via twitter, maybe we should call him an enemy of the people or a traitor.

[Lario]

1 minute ago, torahboy said:

He was in bed with the Prime Minister?

Sounded like that alright!

 

[DJLJ]

Just now, Tj hooker said:

Hahaha laura up 1st who would have thought it 

First thing I thought of as well. 

[Aventus]

He's struggling to speak when he's not going off the script, a decent journo could rip him apart here if they were willing to ask some tough questions. 

[Jairzinho]

OK, question number two, Laura...

[Captain Turdseye]

What about the second and third trips?

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Tj hooker said:

Hahaha laura up 1st who would have thought it 

I think she's the only one there!

[Bobby Hundreds]

3 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

All this needs is a "the rent boy slipped and inadvertently landed on my penis" type excuse. 

Haha it is. It's the brown sauce bottle up the arse "i slipped and up it went"... "That's all well and good but it doesn't explain the condom on the bottle"

[Bjornebye]

"why is #cummings not trending on twitter?" 

 

 

[Bruce Spanner]

12 minutes ago, TK421 said:

Whoever is making that noise is a legend. 

 

It a pro Brexit mong, he stands outside and does it all the fucking time.

[Tj hooker]

Just now, Jairzinho said:

OK, question number two, Laura...

And question number 3 as well 

[TheHowieLama]

Which one is autistic?

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]