Coronavirus

[sir roger]

10 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Cryptocurrency has been absolutely booming for the last couple of days. The £100 I put in had dropped as low as £55 but it’s rocketed up and I’m currently sitting on a profit of £1.67. I know it’s wrong to be profiting out of the current situation but it’s just such a thrill. 
 

£1.67

You may as well have killed those 26097 people yourself, I don't know how you sleep nights.

[Bruce Spanner]

Gove ‘how do we distract the country from this shambles?’

Hancock ‘I think I saw someone walking on the college green, sir, we should expel them. They’re bringing the school in to disrepute’ 

 

Gove ‘erm, yes, Matt, well done, thanks for that.

 

Rees-Mogg 'we should get the millowners, merchants, aristocracy and the landed gentry together and figure out how we're going to get the poor to pay for this mess?'

 

Gove 'all in good time, Jackob'

 

Rabb ‘er, well, er, well, er, I didn’t suggest the question so I blame you, Micheal, for asking it and me not being able to provide an answer’ 

 

Gove ‘thanks you for that Dominic, really constructive. Next! We need a distraction’ 

Patel ‘kill all the immigrants’

 

Gove ‘perhaps a touch too extreme, put in the ‘maybe’ pile. We could do with a sacrifice though’

 

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson ‘I’m not willing to sacrifice anything that ruins the chance of Dom’s great idea bringing unity to the UK and getting brexit done!’ 

 

Gove ‘It requires two weeks off pretending to be sick’

 

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson ‘that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make, tally-ho!’

 

Two weeks later...

 

General public ‘why isn’t Boris dead, why aren’t the hospitals I consciously voted to destroy curing my dying nan, why are footballers paid more than hospital cleaners, why are people dying by the truck load, why are my shit fucking kids still at home and not at school with the lazy teachers?' And on an nauseaum.

 

Gove ‘that didn’t work, fuck, this is a real pickle. Whatever shall we do?’

 

Cummings ‘send out the doddery old fuck! Nothing gets the British knickers wetter than a daft old cunt with a stupid back story doing something inane. Go on, Micheal, deploy the ole proletariat distraction bomb’

 

Enter stage left Major Tom

 

General public ‘ain’t it all great, they’ve got this, we’re all safe.

 

The end.

 

Epilogue: The conservatives have a 61% approval rating and the same percentage of the UK died because of an unelected advisor advocating a herd immunity eugenics experiment, which requires a vaccine, in a country without one for the foreseeable future.

[Colonel Bumcunt]

1 hour ago, Mudface said:

It was 0.5% he said, before we get into another endless discussion about how to express percentages...

 

It's 7% worldwide, but that's only based on confirmed cases, i.e. people who've had a test. As we don't know for sure how many people have had it and can't even be sure the death figures are correct, we can't give a definitive figure yet, other than 'it's likely to be less than 7%'.

It's a bit like counting people who turn up in A&E with dehydration from diahorrea and subsequently die and extrapolating that a vast percentage of people die from diahorrea. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

This just in...

 

Tories are lying cunts who will shaft working class cities again and again.

 

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/city-region-short-changed-government-18172625?fbclid=IwAR2iYQ-RrcYWeXgMFT2mjOvbunvY1Il4tLBG3v4zVbfrZBNekITUY5ho3V4

 

 

[Section_31]

Isn't it fucking nuts the breadth of how people can be affected by this virus? If you've got the flu you've got the flu, you know you've got it, it hits you like a train and puts you in bed regardless of your age or underlying health problems, you never hear anyone say "I got tested for flu, turns out I had it but didn't know, I was actually doing riverdance at the time."

 

For all the complications that fact is creating (throwing up strange test results, making people unwitting carriers) that has to surely provide some hope for our ability to study why there's such a disparity and develop treatments accordingly.

[Colonel Bumcunt]

18 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Isn't it fucking nuts the breadth of how people can be affected by this virus? If you've got the flu you've got the flu, you know you've got it, it hits you like a train and puts you in bed regardless of your age or underlying health problems, you never hear anyone say "I got tested for flu, turns out I had it but didn't know, I was actually doing riverdance at the time."

 

For all the complications that fact is creating (throwing up strange test results, making people unwitting carriers) that has to surely provide some hope for our ability to study why there's such a disparity and develop treatments accordingly.

Ah yes, but as this thing is so fucking random, it doesn't seem natural to me.  Do you not get that impression?

This thing seems purposefully slippery to pin down, and yet incredibly contagious.  They contained and eradicated SARS, they contained and eradicated MERS, and you'd think that protocols developed as a response to those things would contain Covid19, that they'd learn.  But if anything, it seems that the disease has learned more about us and our responses and been able to evade us.  I'm just not finished with the lab-made theory yet. 

[Spy Bee]

3 hours ago, skend04 said:

I could be being a bit dense here, but isn't that a death rate of 7%? I'm sure Spy Bee was saying it's 0.05%. Where's the discrepancy?

Just how in the fuck did you come to that conclusion for fucks sakes? I literally have no understanding of a how a functioning adult that is not retarded can come to that conclusion!

12 hours ago, Audrey Witherspoon said:

See the whole I work in health care when you post is an attempt to add weight to your argument, but it’s bollocks really if you work in sales as a supplier to comment upon medical matters.

 

I am a director of three companies in healthcare, products sales, service and rentals, product development and providing healthcare are all things that I am involved in to some extent, directly and indirectly. I've been doing this for 15 years, so I have numerous contacts and friends in the industry. This doesn't give me medical knowledge (I never claimed it did), but it does give me an insight as to what is going on in terms of how full wards are, what preparations are happening, what local model outcomes are looking like, what contingency plans are in place etc. 

 

The good news is, if you work in a bank, somebody there should be able to explain what 0.5% is - so go and ask someone, you fucking moron!

[Colonel Bumcunt]

I sit on a legal cell for a local authority, and another cell, which were set-up to compliment the Local Resilience Forums, which feed-up to COBRA.

 

What do I win? 

 

[Spy Bee]

7 minutes ago, Colonel Bumcunt said:

I sit on a legal cell for a local authority, and another cell, which were set-up to compliment the Local Resilience Forums, which feed-up to COBRA.

 

What do I win? 

 

Rep

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

A couple of lads I know (twins, I know one better than the other) do all mad t-shirts and stuff. You may have seen their "badly drawn footballers" stuff. 

 

Anyway, they've done the same for Chris Whitty and set up a "Chris Whitty Appreciation Society." And, one of them has just been interviewed by Phil and Holly on This Morning. 

 

Boss! 

[Pureblood]

Bozza is back in the game today.  Word on the street is that he's heroically leading the Daily Briefing and outlining his vision for "defeating the virus". I feel safer already.  

[Spy Bee]

 

[SasaS]

16 minutes ago, TK421 said:

Bozza is back in the game today.  Word on the street is that he's heroically leading the Daily Briefing and outlining his vision for "defeating the virus". I feel safer already.  

You should, because he now knows the virus personally and can stab him in the back or outmanoeuvre him politically.  

[Pureblood]

2 minutes ago, SasaS said:

You should, because he now knows the virus personally and can stab him in the back or outmanoeuvre him politically.  

Other countries will be envious of our apparent success.  Watch and learn, rest of the world. 

[TheHowieLama]

4 hours ago, skend04 said:

I could be being a bit dense here, but isn't that a death rate of 7%? I'm sure Spy Bee was saying it's 0.05%. Where's the discrepancy?

 

4 hours ago, Mudface said:

It was 0.5% he said, before we get into another endless discussion about how to express percentages...

 

It's 7% worldwide, but that's only based on confirmed cases, i.e. people who've had a test. As we don't know for sure how many people have had it and can't even be sure the death figures are correct, we can't give a definitive figure yet, other than 'it's likely to be less than 7%'.

As was pointed out yesterday the death rate right now - using Worldometers data - is actually nineteen percent.

And the figure quoted by said poster was one half of one percent.

[Curly]

47 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

 

As was pointed out yesterday the death rate right now - using Worldometers data - is actually nineteen percent.

And the figure quoted by said poster was one half of one percent.

I think the final % will be closer to 0.5 than 19 once the undiagnosed cases are factored in though. Hopefully!

[Curly]

50 minutes ago, SasaS said:

You should, because he now knows the virus personally and can stab him in the back or outmanoeuvre him politically.  

That sounds like some sort of invisible mugger that mate 

[TheHowieLama]

7 minutes ago, belarus said:

I think the final % will be closer to 0.1 than 19 once the undiagnosed cases are factored though. Hopefully!

Well that is not really going out on a limb. Yes it will be lower than 19%

On 1%, you may be right but to put that into perspective if no one died from here on there would need to be an additional 18 million more confirmed cases recorded. With no deaths.

[Section_31]

2 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

Well that is not really going out on a limb. Yes it will be lower than 19%

On 1%, you may be right but to put that into perspective if no one died from here on there would need to be an additional 18 million more confirmed cases recorded. With no deaths.

That cruise ship was used sort of as barometer wasn't it and I think it was roughly 1% on that. Was also presumably quite an ageing demographic. 

[Section_31]

No child has been found to have passed coronavirus to an adult, a review of evidence in partnership with the Royal College of Paediatricians has found.

Major studies into the impact of Covid-19 on young children show it is likely that they "do not play a significant role" in spreading the virus and are significantly less likely to become infected than adults.

While experts have said more evidence is needed, they note that there has not been a single case of a child under 10 transmitting the virus even in contact tracing carried out by the World Health Organisation (WHO).

[aRdja]

2 hours ago, Spy Bee said:

Just how in the fuck did you come to that conclusion for fucks sakes? I literally have no understanding of a how a functioning adult that is not retarded can come to that conclusion!

I am a director of three companies in healthcare, products sales, service and rentals, product development and providing healthcare are all things that I am involved in to some extent, directly and indirectly. I've been doing this for 15 years, so I have numerous contacts and friends in the industry. This doesn't give me medical knowledge (I never claimed it did), but it does give me an insight as to what is going on in terms of how full wards are, what preparations are happening, what local model outcomes are looking like, what contingency plans are in place etc. 

 

The good news is, if you work in a bank, somebody there should be able to explain what 0.5% is - so go and ask someone, you fucking moron!

7% died with coronavirus and 0.5% died from coronavirus. 

[Pureblood]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

No child has been found to have passed coronavirus to an adult, a review of evidence in partnership with the Royal College of Paediatricians has found.

Major studies into the impact of Covid-19 on young children show it is likely that they "do not play a significant role" in spreading the virus and are significantly less likely to become infected than adults.

While experts have said more evidence is needed, they note that there has not been a single case of a child under 10 transmitting the virus even in contact tracing carried out by the World Health Organisation (WHO).

I'm not posting this to be a smart arse or anything, just to show that opinions vary. Personally I don't trust the little fuckers, I'm pretty sure it can be passed on via playing Fortnite.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/30/coronavirus-scientists-caution-against-reopening-schools

 

Scientists have cautioned against the reopening of schools after new findings suggested children could be as infectious as adults.

[TheHowieLama]

4 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

That cruise ship was used sort of as barometer wasn't it and I think it was roughly 1% on that. Was also presumably quite an ageing demographic. 

The measures imposed on the cruise ship have not been, and cannot be translated to the real world. 

[TheHowieLama]

6 minutes ago, aRdja said:

7% died with coronavirus and 0.5% died from coronavirus. 

19% of people who have had coronavirus have died. You can parse that however you want.

[skend04]

1 minute ago, TheHowieLama said:

19% of people who have had coronavirus have died. You can parse that however you want.

See, you seem way more approachable. I can't believe Spy Bee chucked a paddy. I haven't really kept up to date with it all and just skimmed through the thread as its way too depressing but the table I replied to showed 7% but if it's 19% then that's pretty shocking.