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Premier League Round Up (Dec 26-29 2019)


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So much to get through here to get this out before the New Year games, so I’ll dive straight in to the Boxing Day fixtures and start at Old Trafford where the Mancs were given several late Christmas presents by Steve Bruce’s Newcastle.

 

Matty Longstaff had all but disappeared after scoring against United earlier in the season, but Newcastle wheeled him out again for the return fixture and he scored again to put them in the lead. Lightning couldn’t strike twice, surely? No, it couldn’t, unfortunately. 

 

Solskjaer’s side were given gift after gift after that and ran out comfortable 4-1 winners. Dubravka’s error allowed Martial to equalise, then Schar’s howler allowed Greenwood to make it 2-1 with a thunderous shot. United’s third came via the head of Rashford from a Wan-Bissaka cross. 

 

The ginger Longstaff had been smashed in the face by a McTominay elbow in the build up but as we know VAR won’t disallow Manchester United goals at Old Trafford for clear fouls in the build up. Maybe that elbow gave him a concussion as not long after he played a backpass straight to Martial to send him clear for the fourth.

 

Basically three of the four goals were handed to them by Newcastle and the fourth was a present by the officials, but to be fair they were all finished superbly. United do have quality in the final third, even if they’re massively flawed everywhere else on the pitch.

 

United twitter was cock a hoop with the Wan-Bissaka assist (his first of the season, for the record). Cries of “Trent who?” and “this is England’s best right back” rang out all over social media. Trent v Wan-Bissaka is actually a thing, believe it or not. Granted, it’s only a thing on United Twitter and nobody else gives it the time of day, but if you don’t believe me just do a search and enjoy. You can thank me later.

 

The jist of their ‘argument’ seems to be that Wan-Bissaka is a ‘proper’ full back who can defend, and if he can just improve a little going forward then he’ll therefore be miles better than our boy. Here’s the thing. I’ve had a theory on this type of thing for a while. If you’re a full back who is shit going forward (Wan-Bissaka, Eric Pieters, Paul Dummett etc) then the general consensus is that you must a boss defender.

 

Conversely, full backs who specialise in going forward (Dani Alves, Trent, Digne, Marcelo etc) are all seen to be lacking defensively. In some cases it’s true but it also tends to be wildly exaggerated on both ends. Ashley Cole would be the most obvious example I suppose. Believe it or not, there are people (mostly Evertonians) that don’t think Robbo is a good defender. 

 

It’s very rare you get someone who is lauded for his play at both ends. Generally though it’s just lazy, stereotypical analysis. Good going forward = shite defender. Shite going forward = strong defensively. 

 

Yet this so called elite defender Wan-Bissaka gave away a stupid penalty at Watford with a wild lunge last week. I also remember him being embarrassed by Josh King for Bournemouth’s winner. There’s two howlers just off the top of my head and I don’t even watch them every week. So he’s not that great at defending, is he? And he gives you fuck all going the other way.

 

Trent isn’t perfect defensively but he’s better than he’s given credit for (he’s been a mainstay of the best defence in Europe for the last two years) and he’s by far the best attacking right back in world football. Trying to compare Wan-Bissaka with him is laughable, but this is where United are right now. Always looking for these little ‘victories’ that they can claim because they’ve got fuck all else to shout about.

 

I even saw one of their fan accounts tweeting the goal totals for Martial, Rashford and Greenwood compared with Salah, Firmino and Mané. The United trio have scored more, which apparently means something (even though half of those goals have come against farmers and plumbers in the Europa League). You can have your little ‘win’ there lads, good for you.

 

We’ll just completely gloss over the fact that the rest of our team have scored shitloads more than the rest of yours and we aren’t completely reliant on three forward players. We’ll also completely gloss over the 24 point lead we’ve got over them with only half a season played.

 

You sit there knocking one out to your one assist right back and your three strikers who are apparently better than Sadio, Mo and Bobby. Good for you, Man United fans. Good for you. *condescending pat on the head*

 

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article

 

Please note that PL Round Ups are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

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31 minutes ago, Anubis said:

Newcastle fans singing feed the Scousers when not so long ago their fan’s foodbank were crying out for supplies and our Fans Supporting Foodbanks took a load of food up to them. Gobshites.

 

Exactly. Not even arsed when the likes of Chelsea do it, but northern clubs should know better, the soft cunts.

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Got to take issue with your slating of Obafemi Dave. He's Irish in fact. Yes I know he's black and he doesn't look proper Leprechaun but he's one of us. Your slating of Irish strikers (McGoldrick, Jon Walters) is a bit of a recurring theme actually. Now I know we may be a bit shit but in the immortal words of Erasure please.....give a little respect......tooooo me...

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13 hours ago, tlw content said:

That Dan Gosling jabroni put Bournemouth ahead 

 

The minute I saw who scored I knew you'd be giving it one off the wrist. 

 

13 hours ago, tlw content said:

Happy New Year. I love you all. 

 

You mean me really. 

 

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1 hour ago, buster69 said:

Got to take issue with your slating of Obafemi Dave. He's Irish in fact. Yes I know he's black and he doesn't look proper Leprechaun but he's one of us. Your slating of Irish strikers (McGoldrick, Jon Walters) is a bit of a recurring theme actually. Now I know we may be a bit shit but in the immortal words of Erasure please.....give a little respect......tooooo me...

 

Hold on, I'm being misrepresented here (although the Erasure reference deserves all the rep in the world).

 

I didn't slate Obafemi I just said I'd never heard of him before, which is true. I even complimented his finish. 

 

I haven't slated McGoldrick either as far as I can recall. I have mentioned his lack of goals but that's merely a fact. It's nothing personal. As long as he doesn't score tomorrow I'll be happy for him to score in every game he plays between now and May. 

 

Walters deserved every bit of abuse I gave him. I've had a little go at the diving lad at Brighton too, but generally I'm fine with the Irish. Great bunch of lads.

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8 hours ago, dave u said:

 

Hold on, I'm being misrepresented here (although the Erasure reference deserves all the rep in the world).

 

I didn't slate Obafemi I just said I'd never heard of him before, which is true. I even complimented his finish. 

 

I haven't slated McGoldrick either as far as I can recall. I have mentioned his lack of goals but that's merely a fact. It's nothing personal. As long as he doesn't score tomorrow I'll be happy for him to score in every game he plays between now and May. 

 

Walters deserved every bit of abuse I gave him. I've had a little go at the diving lad at Brighton too, but generally I'm fine with the Irish. Great bunch of lads.

Well you did call McGoldrick a chump in the round up last week for not scoring. Sounds like a bit of a slight to me. It's probably just me. Being bald and Irish are the 2 things I have a chip on my shoulder about.

 

But anyway, as you say, the Irish, like the Chinese, are a great bunch of lads

 

the-chinese-a-great-bunch-of-lads.jpg

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I called him a chump? Ok yeah that is a shot at him so fair enough.

 

It was probably after he missed that open goal though, and that was a chump move.

 

I have nothing against him though, at least I don't at the moment. That might change after tomorrow!

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13 hours ago, buster69 said:

Got to take issue with your slating of Obafemi Dave. He's Irish in fact. Yes I know he's black and he doesn't look proper Leprechaun but he's one of us. Your slating of Irish strikers (McGoldrick, Jon Walters) is a bit of a recurring theme actually. Now I know we may be a bit shit but in the immortal words of Erasure please.....give a little respect......tooooo me...

I’m Irish and our strikers are shite. As well as our midfield and our defence and we’ve a championship goalkeeper. 
McGoldrick works hard like Shane long with the same goals to games ratio so he should have at least one goal by next New Years. 

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9 hours ago, Mark M said:

I’m Irish and our strikers are shite. As well as our midfield and our defence and we’ve a championship goalkeeper. 
McGoldrick works hard like Shane long with the same goals to games ratio so he should have at least one goal by next New Years. 

Well we had one of the best defensive records in qualifying :) Admittedly the rest of the side is pretty poor. Connolly, Obafami and Parrott though ;)

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Sterling stepped up to take it and was denied by the keeper. Then VAR intervened again to rule that Conor Coady had encroached and because he cleared the ball, the kick needed to be retaken. Coady wasn’t in the box but he was in the ‘D’ and that’s not allowed. Even as a schoolkid I knew that, but as we’ve discovered over the last couple of days poor Conor struggles a little bit when it comes to understanding the rules of the game.

 

That's the only reason for the D - to make sure everyone (but the keeper, obviously) is at least 10 yards away from the ball when a penalty is taken.

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12 hours ago, Mark M said:

I’m Irish and our strikers are shite. As well as our midfield and our defence and we’ve a championship goalkeeper. 
McGoldrick works hard like Shane long with the same goals to games ratio so he should have at least one goal by next New Years. 

 

I've always rated Shane Long. I might be the only person who still does, but to me his lack of goals always surprises me because any time I watch him I think he's a handful. A sneaky, cheating handful, but a handful nonetheless.

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