Premier League Round Up (Nov 23-25 2019)

[tlw content]

So Mourinho is back then, which is a shame as I’ve warmed to him quite a bit since he left United and became a pundit. Now he’s back in the rat race I expect he’ll go back to being a rat and I’ll go back to hating him. Pity.

 

He’s slowly working his way down the pecking order of English clubs, so maybe those Everton fans who thought they had a chance of landing him will be proved right. In ten years or so.

 

I’m not happy to see him back, more so because of the way the media react to him than anything else. There’s an obsession towards him and frankly it bores me. It’s not 2005 anymore lads, he’s no longer “box office”, he’s just a guy.

 

Thankfully he’s unlikely to be posing much of a threat to us this time around given how far we’ve pulled ahead of Spurs over the last 12 months. Honestly, it’s mad if you go back a year and see how close they were to us. So much has happened since then though and now they’re somehow below Arsenal in the table. Only by a point mind, and probably only for another week.

 

I think Mourinho will get Spurs into a comfortable 5th place position within a few weeks as they’ve got a lot of good players there. He’s not going to get them performing better than they did under Pochettino before it started to go wrong, but he’ll get them back on track.

 

He started with a win, but they were only playing West Ham and everyone is beating them at the moment so it doesn’t really mean much. They looked quite good for 80 minutes though. 

 

West Ham’s witness protection programme keeper was exposed again for the opening goal as Son’s shot just went right through him. Moura made it 2-0 when he converted a cross from Son, but it was Deli Alli pulling all the strings. 

 

This was his best game in two years, which I’m sure won’t have gone unnoticed by Pochettino. Alli spoke afterwards about how tough it was seeing Poch leave and how much he appreciated everything he did for him.

 

He’s got a funny way of showing it. I mean, if it was a gradual improvement that got him back to top form under a new boss then fair enough, but one game under Mourinho and suddenly he looked like the old Deli Alli again? I smell a rat.

 

Kane headed in an Aurier cross to make it 3-0 but then West Ham came back at them and could have completed an unlikely comeback as Antonio came off the bench and turned the game for them. 

 

I’d completely forgotten he existed. He must have been out injured but now he’s back he needs to start every week as he’s the only West Ham player I’d worry about as an opposition manager. Other Hammers players are more talented (Felipe Anderson, Yarmolenko, Haller) but Antonio is a handful and puts himself about far more than any of those other flakey bastards.

 

It’s not fashionable to say it, but he’s a pretty good player. He’s in that bracket with Ashley Barnes and my boy Troy Deeney. Much better than people think.

 

He fired in from 18 yards to give them hope and Declan Rice then thought he’d made it 2-3 with a minute left. VAR had other ideas though. He was clearly offside and it was rightly disallowed. Ogbonna did pull another one back in stoppage time and if there’d been a few more minutes left they might have snatched a point, but they’re in a terrible rut right now. They’re basically the Everton of the South.

 

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[rubble-rouser]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaaahhahahahaahhahaha

[alles ist gut]

Top, top Kevinalysis there Dave.

 

Also, no-one should be playing in Kazakhstan in the last week of November anyway, they had to bribe their way into UEFA. Bastards.

[johnsusername]

"How bad must Everton be? Fucking hell. They’ve lost to all three newly promoted teams now, which really takes some doing. What do they get for that unique hat-trick? A place in the Championship, hopefully."

 

LOVELY STUFF.

[buster69]

Maybe it's just because he's in the news a lot at the moment, but is Goldbridge a fatter version of left wing journo Owen Jones or is that just me? 

[buster69]

By the way apparently that was the first time a team ever had more possession than a Guardiola team in a game. So not even we managed it.

[rb14]

That Goldbridge clip is quality. Fucking get in you manc twat. You and your self-righteous, sanctimonious, God-given right for all things United can get to fuck. You and your loyal supporter mates can't languish long enough in the pit of despair from which we appear to have dragged ourselves. Every loss, every disappointment, every under-achievement is like nectar. Remember all those years, you wanked the league with your cheating whiskey-nosed manager and still spent more time obsessing over us? How's that going for you now? 

[Ben Sherman]

That alone was worth 2 quid

 

[Bjornebye]

"I tell you what, if they didn't have red bits under their arm..." 

[Nuzzer]

the Vardy Seagull appeals to my puerile ways

How will he celebrate his hayrick against the Bloos at the weekend

 

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

2 hours ago, Nuzzer said:

the Vardy Seagull appeals to my puerile ways

How will he celebrate his hayrick against the Bloos at the weekend

 

Boo himself 

[manwiththestick]

2 hours ago, Nuzzer said:

the Vardy Seagull appeals to my puerile ways

How will he celebrate his hayrick against the Bloos at the weekend

 

Takes his top of and he's wearing ours underneath.

[Dr Nowt]

Hahahahaha. “He’s gotta go, Bill” is the new where’s the Arteta money. Fucking brilliant.

[Dr Nowt]

Close mate of mine down here was brought up in Manchester as a kid and is a lifelong United fan. He’s been saying since Ferguson left he’s lost all interest in football just through age etc and doesn’t ever follow it now.
 

Was at his all day yesterday and when the footie was on his wife pipes up “Has there been any update on United?” He goes  “Update. What update?” innocently, like he’s no idea what she’s talking about. She goes “Now Mourinho’s at Spurs”. I knew immediately, but he still pretended he didn’t know what she meant so she spelt it out further. “You were really hoping that manager who just left Spurs would come to you now, weren’t you?”

 

“Oh, uhm, Pochettino”, like he’s saying his name for the first time.  He then went through a good five to ten minute exposition of what a great bloke Ole is and how he needs to be given time. The righteousness of blooding kids and going back to the traditional United way got a run-out and that it’s how you build a football club in a pure manner rather than just throwing money at the best players, but need to stoically bear with it for a while to achieve deserved success.  It was like she was trying to goad him. “But they do keep losing under him, don’t they. Who was that team you said beat them on Thursday, weren’t they unknown?”
 

I didn’t say a word. Didn’t even make a sound. Just sat basking in it, with a smile as wide as Luke Shaw. That I could hear myself in my teens and twenties at times, saying similar things to him about Liverpool when he’d laugh at how far off we were, made it all the sweeter. We know better then anyone, including them, where they are because we’ve been there and know just how fucking hard it is to get out of.

 

Feelgood stuff of the highest order.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

One of my best mates is an Irish Manc. He was forever chatting about football and his beloved mancs, mostly in good humour but also with a tadge of arrogance and self entitlement thrown in between the lines. He just send me photos of his new son now and chats about how we are going to win the league, probably crossing his fingers for City behind his back. Another Manc mate who is actually from Manchester but in the forces just moans about Ole being shite, and the fact I told him he would be. Which has followed the same pattern for the last three managers they've had. He's hurting like fuck and I haven't had to pour salt onto his wounds, or the Irish manc, I can just sit back and pretend I'm not fussed. It's fucking great. 

[StevieMax]

"He started with a win, but they were only playing West Ham and everyone is beating them at the moment so it doesn’t really mean much. They looked quite good for 80 minutes though."

 

The way the Press went on you'd have thought it was the second coming. It was a win for Spurs against a underachieving West Ham side with Tuddy Cicero in goal.  Even then Spurs almost "did a Spurs" and let them back in - but by then the press had all written their reports and closed up their laptops.