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Little things that annoy the shit out of you (Football related version 1.0)


Bjornebye
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I know we have a shitness of modern football thread but this is for anything.

 

The hand over the mouth talking thing. I hate it. What the fuck could they be possibly saying that they don't want picking up? It can't be a tactical thing because by the time its been properly analysed and lip-read the game is over. Dele Alli was doing it at the end of the Spurs game when talking to Son after they threw their shirts to the spurs fans. Now unless he was calling him a "greedy dog eating bastard" for not squaring it to him earlier on in the game then what the fuck could he be hiding? 

 

The amount of gambling shit in and around footy. Teams sponsored by them, billboards, Ray Winstones head.... I had Talk Sport on as they had the match on and the commentator kept rambling about Bet Fair exchange rates and gamble aware.org. Fuck off just commentate on the game you bastard. 

 

People who use the match thread to ask for streams when I have bumped the stream thread. I don't know why I bother. 

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Fan attitudes and media/pundits annoy me way more than anything that happens during matches. Very obvious play-acting and time wasting gets on my nerves, but stuff outside of football is what gets to me. 

 

Announcers who speak like they've got a script written by Shakespeare in front of their faces. Drury and Pearce are the worst at that. Just announce the fucking game, I don't need melodramatic storylines and metaphors for everything that's happening.

 

Pundits/commentators who only talk in cliches and describe the game. So 99% of them. I can see what's going on, you don't have to tell me what just happened, that's the announcer's job. You're supposed to use your knowledge of the game to analyse it. 

 

Fans who can't be objective. It's literally impossible for most and it makes discussion so tedious. Spouting conspiracy theories instead of accepting and rationalizing what they are watching. 

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The pitch-side steadycam shot when the ball is near the line, and you can't see who's running where, and where they are in relation to the player in possession. They seem to revel in lingering on that, just because the ball is there. I'm usually screaming at the tv at that point: 'Fuck off with your pitchside bollocks and show the match properly!'

 

Maybe it's just me.

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Incessant replays of something (usually unimportant) whilst actual football is happening.

 

kicking the ball out for an injury. Unless there’s blood spraying everywhere or you have a degree in sports medicine, play the fuck on. 
 

Boots in any colour but black. It still looks awful even after all these years. 
 

Ballboys throwing the ball back to the opposition as if the thing is on fire. Slow it down & let our ones get back... 

 

VAR, sorry but it’s shit. 
 

 

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15 hours ago, Mcfaggen said:

Incessant replays of something (usually unimportant) whilst actual football is happening.

 

kicking the ball out for an injury. Unless there’s blood spraying everywhere or you have a degree in sports medicine, play the fuck on. 
 

Boots in any colour but black. It still looks awful even after all these years. 
 

Ballboys throwing the ball back to the opposition as if the thing is on fire. Slow it down & let our ones get back... 

 

VAR, sorry but it’s shit. 
 

 

Racist as fuck but I agree. 

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2 minutes ago, TheDrowningMan said:

“Phase of play”

"second phase" . Jermain jeans said it yesterday on talk sport 9I think it was him it sounded like him) when the West Ham game was on. I was tidying up and nearly threw myself out the window when he said it. Klopp says it all the time as well. but there lies the difference. Clop could bounce into my house, make himself one of my herbal teas and start walking into my sink and I'd just sit there pissing myself. If Jenas came near my house I'd tell him to go away. 

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