General Election 2019

[1892-LFCWasBorn]

Labour's best chance is a higher turn out.

 

First time/younger voters could be crucial in swinging it back to another hung parliament.

 

There was considerable people traffic at my polling station early this morning.

[Jennings]

What's the point? The programs start just as the exit poll is revealed. 

[Jennings]

It's like watching MotD when you know Liverpool got beat.

[1892-LFCWasBorn]

2 minutes ago, Jennings said:

It's like watching MotD when you know Liverpool got beat.

I never watch MOTD when that happens.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

From Australian Sky, so MASSIVE pinch of salt... 

 

 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

4 minutes ago, Jennings said:

What's the point? The programs start just as the exit poll is revealed. 

The exit polls are pretty much an indication of how things will turn out. Give it until about midnight for quite a few seats to be announced and see how that lines up with the exit polls then go to bed in the knowledge that you'll awake in a happy red mood or a bitter blue one. 

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Jennings said:

What's the point? The programs start just as the exit poll is revealed. 

 

4 minutes ago, Jennings said:

It's like watching MotD when you know Liverpool got beat.

 

 

[Jennings]

2 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

From Australian Sky, so MASSIVE pinch of salt... 

 

 

 

 

 

via GIPHY

[Bjornebye]

 

 

[Anubis]

4 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

From Australian Sky, so MASSIVE pinch of salt... 

 

 

Would be amusing if he lost it by a few votes, having chosen not to cast his vote there.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Labour reportedly confident in key Tory target seat of Workington.*

 

*PINCH OF SALT APPLIES (POSA) 

[Jennings]

Is POSA your work?

 

My finger is hovvering over the neg button.

[clockspeed]

28 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Fuckin' DUP. Bet those Neanderthals will happily jump back in bed with Johnson despite him mugging them off.

Already have indicated as much. Even though he shit on them they have him on "naughty step" . As I said they will back him on everything bar Brexit. 

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

1 minute ago, Jennings said:

Is POSA your work?

 

My finger is hovvering over the neg button.

Yes. I'm going to caveat every bit of Twitter info I share as it's just all whispers at this stage. I can't be arsed typing it out on every post, hence POSA. 

[Kevin D]

Checked my email and got sent this, by Daniel Kitson, earlier:

Cooooooeeeeee. 

 

So there is, at the moment, somewhere in the region of forty thousand people on this mailing list and this particular email is for, realistically, somewhere around seven of you. 

 

Firstly you have to be registered to vote in the UK. Which statistically* is most people on the mailing list but Secondly you have to be undecided about who to vote for in todays Election. Which statistically** is around seven of you. 

I imagine, by this stage, that of those of you in the UK and registered to vote - the vast majority of you, will have decided who you’re voting for or indeed whether you’re voting at all, I imagine that between you, you’ll have all manner of reasons for those decisions from not wanting to upset your parents, through wanting to really upset your parents, all the way to a thoroughly researched and forensically examined grasp of the issues at hand and the manifestos in question. I don’t really feel capable or equipped to change those minds.
 
I have been in America throughout the election campaigns, laying down my own particular brand of profound and poetic comedy for the huddled masses, yearning to be free. To be honest, I have been having what can only be described as a lovely time. Stuffing my face, slurping my face, sleeping my face and waddling about on a bike. But being here has meant being removed, to an extent from the election which has been both a blissful mercy and a sort of impotent frustration.
 
Alongside that, I’ve known that I’ll be voting for Labour since before the election was even called and that instinctive and historical certainty has been strengthened over the last few weeks by the ambition, courage and scope of Labours plans, myriad depressing examples of Tory mendacity, and Johnsons avoidance of genuine scrutiny that is somehow all at once,  staggeringly cynical, embarrassingly gutless and depressingly effective.
 
So, that certainty, combined with my geographical dislocation, not to mention the ready availability of waffles and ukranian dumplings in the early hours of the morning has led to me having a relative lack of engagement with the minutiae of the campaigns, the details of the manifestos and the arguments and counter arguments needed to un make a mind that is already made up.  
 
But maybe there’s around seven of you you wavering. Seven out of forty thousand who are still nudgeable or convinceable or persuadable.
 
So I thought I’d send this email to say four things –
 
- I really think this article is worth reading.
 
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/dec/11/boris-johnson-destroy-britain-conservative-revolutionary-sect
 
– I think this website is worth visiting if you want to vote tactically against the conservatives and are unclear on how best to do that. https://tactical.vote/
 
– I said last time that we had one of these national shindigs and it remains true now, that my shows, the shows you have hopefully enjoyed, with their marginalised characters and their concern for compassion and their preoccupation with honesty and forgotten lives and the duty of care people share for each other, not to mention the dick jokes, unrelenting profanity and deliberately affordable ticket prices, those shows emerge entirely from the heart and the mind of a Labour Voter. For what that’s worth.
 
And that’s it.
 
I know this email will be, for the vast majority of you, either too late, utterly irrelevant or quite irritating and that whilst some of you may feel I’m overstepping the mark, quite a few of you will feel I’m massively under-stepping it. So, If it makes you feel any better, before I came away to America, I left my house plants and my proxy vote in the hands of one of my thickest friends, so there’s a very real chance I’ll be returning to a Conservative government and a bath full of rotting succulents.
 
But i hope not. ***

GOODBYE FOREVER

Daniel 

* Based on statistics 
** A Guess
***This isn't about the succulents. 
 

[skend04]

Not to piss on chips, and it would be funny as fuck, but if Boris does lose his seat then they've still got pure evil fuckers in the form of Gove to come in as a leadership contender. It's like a Hydra, chop the head off and another 10 spring up. Bastards.

[cloggypop]

Daniel Kitson is boss

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

The Tories are pulling their teams out of Putney to concentrate on other nearby constituencies. Unclear if they are bullish, or the Lib Dem vote has shifted tactically towards Labour. (POSA!) 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, skend04 said:

Not to piss on chips, and it would be funny as fuck, but if Boris does lose his seat then they've still got pure evil fuckers in the form of Gove to come in as a leadership contender. It's like a Hydra, chop the head off and another 10 spring up. Bastards.

Eurgh. Gove, Rees-Mogg, Patel, Cummings, McVey, Javid ......... How could anyone vote for them 

[clockspeed]

3 minutes ago, skend04 said:

Not to piss on chips, and it would be funny as fuck, but if Boris does lose his seat then they've still got pure evil fuckers in the form of Gove to come in as a leadership contender. It's like a Hydra, chop the head off and another 10 spring up. Bastards.

Think he stands down until some pasty with big majority gets large pay off to step down for personal reasons . Swift by-election and Boris back at helm. Max a month of Gove.

[cloggypop]

Personal reasons being a peerage. 

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Laura Pidcock expected to be in a "tight" contest for her seat. 

 

The pound has just jumped a bit. As odds for hung parliament have drifted. A few people are suggesting that this might be because hedge funds have got their privately commissioned exit polls which suggest a Tory majority. 

 

Although, others are saying that a few Tories are using phrases along the lines of "a majority of one is still a majority." 

 

POSA! 

[clockspeed]

3 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

Personal reasons being a peerage. 

Off course all above board and all that. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

8 minutes ago, clockspeed said:

Think he stands down until some pasty with big majority gets large pay off to step down for personal reasons . Swift by-election and Boris back at helm. Max a month of Gove.

 

Unless of course he loses his seat and the UK ends up with a hung parliament which suits neither side, especially the Tories as a party with someone who couldn't get a majority off the back of Brexit and having the media arse licking brigade in his back pocket, that would surely lead to infighting over the Tory leadership once more. 

[Megadrive Man]

Boris is out campaigning in his own seat, must be very close!