Shit things people do on their hols.

[mattyq]

A mate of mines' ex wife used to burst into tears every time they went away as the hotel room somehow always failed to come up to her expectations

He used to dread going on holiday as the first day was always a nightmare of tears, rows and weird psycho-drama. 

[TheBitch]

1 hour ago, mattyq said:

A mate of mines' ex wife used to burst into tears every time they went away as the hotel room somehow always failed to come up to her expectations

He used to dread going on holiday as the first day was always a nightmare of tears, rows and weird psycho-drama. 

Any chance of getting her number mate?

[mattyq]

3 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

Any chance of getting her number mate?

Haha

She was a big unit as well

One night she turned up to the pub when 4 or 5 of us were having a quiet drink to announce that we wouldn't be seeing my mate for 7 months as he was going to busy every weekend 

Proper controlling mentalist

[Rico1304]

I know a bloke who’s been to the same hotel in Guernsey for about 25 years.  Never goes anywhere else.  He was on the work trip to Vietnam, Malaysia etc and really got stuck in with the food, curry and dim sum for breakfast so I can only assume his wife books the holidays.  

[Oh Buoy]

38 minutes ago, mattyq said:

Haha

She was a big unit as well

One night she turned up to the pub when 4 or 5 of us were having a quiet drink to announce that we wouldn't be seeing my mate for 7 months as he was going to busy every weekend 

Proper controlling mentalist

We all have one of those mates.

[VladimirIlyich]

3 minutes ago, Seasons said:

We all have one of those mates.

'Mates' yes,mates.

[Tony Moanero]

2 hours ago, mattyq said:

A mate of mines' ex wife used to burst into tears every time they went away as the hotel room somehow always failed to come up to her expectations

He used to dread going on holiday as the first day was always a nightmare of tears, rows and weird psycho-drama. 

Can only speak for myself, like, but I find moaning about the accommodation to be an enjoyable highlight of any holiday.

[General Dryness]

5 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Can only speak for myself, like, but I find moaning about the accommodation to be an enjoyable highlight of any holiday.

Centre Parcs are usually fairly consistent though aren't they Tone?

[Mook]

I can't be fucking arsed with holidays, they cost a fortune, cause a load of stress & I usually get homesick for Edinburgh after about four days.

 

People who tell you every detail about their package holidays to Spain should all be fucking shot quite frankly. Nobody cares how far it was from your hotel to the plastic paddy boozer you boring fud.

[Champ]

13 minutes ago, Mook said:

I can't be fucking arsed with holidays, they cost a fortune, cause a load of stress & I usually get homesick for Edinburgh after about four days.

 

People who tell you every detail about their package holidays to Spain should all be fucking shot quite frankly. Nobody cares how far it was from your hotel to the plastic paddy boozer you boring fud.

My name’s Champ and I’m shit at holidays too

[Rico1304]

All that sun must fuck you Scottish dwellers right up. That and finding enough scag for a fortnight. 

[Mudface]

15 minutes ago, Mook said:

I can't be fucking arsed with holidays, they cost a fortune, cause a load of stress & I usually get homesick for Edinburgh after about four days.

 

People who tell you every detail about their package holidays to Spain should all be fucking shot quite frankly. Nobody cares how far it was from your hotel to the plastic paddy boozer you boring fud.

But we found this great little restaurant off the beaten track in Fuengirola, well I say off the beaten track, it was on the front but it was full of Dutch and Germans, no Brits in sight, very exotic, served a cracking egg, chips and beans for breakfast which we needed after 15 pints of San Miguel let me tell you, only place we could get 3 day old copies of the Express and Daily Mail too, which was a fucking relief after three days of hearing these cunts jabber on in their ridiculous lingo, thank fuck they had Sky Sports, Gawd bless 'em, we didn't want to miss the Burnley- Stoke game and, get this, they served free peanuts and crisps, i'd go back there in a heartbeat if it wasn't so hot and full of foreigners and we didn't have to use this weird money instead of the good old Great British pound... (continues for 94 days).

[Champ]

17 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

All that sun must fuck you Scottish dwellers right up. That and finding enough scag for a fortnight. 

I love the sun and seeing other places; I just can’t be doing with the faff of deciding where to go, knowing once I’ve been there for a couple of days I’m ready to come home

[Mudface]

22 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

All that sun must fuck you Scottish dwellers right up. That and finding enough scag for a fortnight. 

Factor 75 with dermo-absorbent, water-resistant heroin particles, exclusively from Stirling Boots- best thing Nivea ever did.

[Bjornebye]

Mooks pleasure is other peoples leisure 

[Champ]

20 minutes ago, Champ said:

I love the sun and seeing other places; I just can’t be doing with the faff of deciding where to go, knowing once I’ve been there for a couple of days I’m ready to come home

To be honest I’m more excited about getting our garage sorted out with some decent shelving 

[Oh Buoy]

 

Mook visits Angel Falls, Venezuela: "Shite. It's just a rock. We have them in Edinburgh."

 

 

Mook in Boracay, Philippines: "There's nothing better than the Scottish coast. We have boats there too." 

 

 

Mook in Boulders Beach, South Africa: "Fucking little bastards everywhere. Can't be doing with this."

 

 

Mook in Edinburgh: "Give me 5 minutes and I'll shove that bottle of bucky up my arse. Good to be home." 

[Captain Turdseye]

On 30/08/2019 at 20:15, Trumo said:

 

That one's aimed at Turdzy, isn't it?

 

On 30/08/2019 at 20:26, Bjornebye said:

Unfortunately not. He won't want evidence. He just blames the Dog. 

 

There’s actually a picture of me having a shit floating around on Facebook somewhere. I did post it myself because my bird was threatening to do it and I refuse to be held to ransom in that manner. I’m getting the sense that Trumo has already seen it. 

[Mook]

28 minutes ago, Seasons said:

 

Mook visits Angel Falls, Venezuela: "Shite. It's just a rock. We have them in Edinburgh."

 

 

Mook in Boracay, Philippines: "There's nothing better than the Scottish coast. We have boats there too." 

 

 

Mook in Boulders Beach, South Africa: "Fucking little bastards everywhere. Can't be doing with this."

 

 

Mook in Edinburgh: "Give me 5 minutes and I'll shove that bottle of bucky up my arse. Good to be home." 

 

Salisbury Crags

 

 

Luskentyre Beach, Harris

 

 

Penguin Parade, Edinburgh Zoo

 

[Mudface]

It's all bums and shit with you lot isn't it?

 

Damn, can;t find the Fawlty clip.

[Oh Buoy]

5 minutes ago, Mook said:

 

Salisbury Crags

 

 

Luskentyre Beach, Harris

 

 

Penguin Parade, Edinburgh Zoo

 

Glad you left out the final image.

[Rico1304]

13 minutes ago, Seasons said:

Glad you left out the final image.

Xenu

[TheBitch]

11 hours ago, Mook said:

I can't be fucking arsed with holidays, they cost a fortune, cause a load of stress & I usually get homesick for Edinburgh after about four days.

 

People who tell you every detail about their package holidays to Spain should all be fucking shot quite frankly. Nobody cares how far it was from your hotel to the plastic paddy boozer you boring fud.

I don’t know what to do with Mook. 

 

*looks at forum*

 

What do I do with Mook?

11 hours ago, Champ said:

I love the sun and seeing other places; I just can’t be doing with the faff of deciding where to go, knowing once I’ve been there for a couple of days I’m ready to come home

Champ you would be great at holidays. Man the fuck up. 

[Mook]

24 minutes ago, TheBitch said:

I don’t know what to do with Mook. 

 

*looks at forum*

 

What do I do with Mook?

An all expenses paid trip to Zermatt?

[Scooby Dudek]

13 hours ago, Mudface said:

But we found this great little restaurant off the beaten track in Fuengirola, well I say off the beaten track, it was on the front but it was full of Dutch and Germans, no Brits in sight, very exotic, served a cracking egg, chips and beans for breakfast which we needed after 15 pints of San Miguel let me tell you, only place we could get 3 day old copies of the Express and Daily Mail too, which was a fucking relief after three days of hearing these cunts jabber on in their ridiculous lingo, thank fuck they had Sky Sports, Gawd bless 'em, we didn't want to miss the Burnley- Stoke game and, get this, they served free peanuts and crisps, i'd go back there in a heartbeat if it wasn't so hot and full of foreigners and we didn't have to use this weird money instead of the good old Great British pound... (continues for 94 days).