Premier League Round Up (Aug 10-11 2019)

[tlw content]

I’ve had a great summer. It started in June with us winning number six. It got even better a few weeks later as I sat on the Kop watching Bon Jovi performing “Livin’ on a Prayer”. Then we got a new puppy. So life was good, it was a dream summer. And then the new season starts, Man City win 5-0 away and all of a sudden I’m sat here thinking “winter is coming”.

 

I expect in a few weeks I’ll end up on a self imposed boycott of their games but for now I’m going to soldier on and report back with my thoughts on the fuckers.

 

In fairness I can’t say what City did this weekend surprised me too much as West Ham are dreadful. They’re starting Jack Wilshere, for fucks sake. That tells you all you need to know. Fortunately for the Hammers he’ll be injured in a few weeks and Mark Noble will be back in. Noble has his critics but I always feel that West Ham are better with him than without.

 

West Ham had a club record signing starting up top against City. £45m he cost and I’ve never even heard of the cunt. He’s bound to be shit, although I thought that about Felipe Anderson last year and he’s been very good. Still, they had to get one right eventually.

 

Jesus set City on their way but the goal was all about the raw blistering speed of Walker. Obviously we all know he’s quick, but fucking hell that was mad how he just burned off Cresswell. Last time I saw pace like that it was Gabby Agbonlahor at Anfield, before he went fat and shit. 

 

Walker was like the fucking road runner. Honestly, if I had ever been able to run like that I’d have been utterly unbearable as I’d be shouting “Beep Beep” every time I sprinted past someone.

 

De Bruyne put the second on a plate for Sterling, and seconds later it looked like it was three when Jesus tapped in Sterling’s cross. VAR chalked that one off though. Sterling was literally an inch offside, and even that was only visible by the lines drawn on the screen, as to the naked eye he looked well on.

 

Sterling made it 3-0 with a lovely composed finish. VAR had a look at that too, as it looked more offside than the first one in real time. This one was an inch onside and the goal stood. Is this really what we want though? Technically both decisions are right, but the whole thing is a fucking farce and fans and players aren’t celebrating goals properly because they’re worried it will be chalked off. 

 

It intervened again when Aguero’s shit penalty was saved by Fabianksi, only for it to be retaken because VAR spotted that Rice had encroached and because he cleared the rebound, Aguero got a second chance which he buried.

 

VAR was brought in to remove the controversy over incorrect decisions and stop people talking about bad decisions. Instead everyone is talking about VAR. It hasn’t made anything better, it’s just a different kind of shit. I hate it.

 

Sterling broke clear for his hat-trick in stoppage time. He’s a good bet for the Golden Boot this year I reckon, he seems to score every fucking week and he’s hardly ever rested either. If he keeps improving the way he has been he might be worth us taking a look at in a year or two.

 

 

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[alles ist gut]

Top, top Grealish analysis.

[Mark M]

He’s the biggest fraud in modern football. The FIFA generation love him. I just don’t get it. It’s probably the same wankers who thought Balotelli was ace, and who referred to him as “Balo”.

 

Hahaha!

[index1000]

Billy Sharp is one of the best names for a footballer ever.

[dave u]

Agreed. Straight out of a Roy of the Rovers comic.

[buster69]

Just on your hating of Newcastle and Villa Dave, didn't you also really hate West Ham as well because of the unbearable tory-ness of the 2 owners?

 

And I can't really agree with your point about the handball. Remember the Man Utd/PSG or, to be fair, Champions League final penalties last season? Basically VAR has made any ball to hand scenario a crime nowadays.

[Ipplfc]

Good report that,I sort of get the lampard thing but I will never forgive that cunt for doin Xabi at Anfield,the shithouse 

[index1000]

1 hour ago, index1000 said:

Billy Sharp is one of the best names for a footballer ever.

yet if you change Billy to Graham or Lee then he becomes a giant bellend

[dave u]

32 minutes ago, buster69 said:

Just on your hating of Newcastle and Villa Dave, didn't you also really hate West Ham as well because of the unbearable tory-ness of the 2 owners?

 

And I can't really agree with your point about the handball. Remember the Man Utd/PSG or, to be fair, Champions League final penalties last season? Basically VAR has made any ball to hand scenario a crime nowadays.

 

Sadio's overhead kick the other night? The defender got both hands on that but no pen was given. This new rule that if the ball hit a forward on the hand/arm then the goal is automatically ruled out, I just think that's a load of bollocks. Unless you're going to give a pen any time the ball hits a defender (which would be even more ridiculous) then it's just a terrible rule.

 

They're making an issue black and white when there needs to be several shades of grey, and I'd say they're only doing it because of fucking VAR.

 

And yeah, West Ham are on the list but they're not as high as Villa and Newcastle. Main beef with West Ham is the owners, not the fans. They're probably the most loathesome owners in the entire league (apart from City's, obviously).

[Tj hooker]

Brilliant read great to have these back 

[Bad Red Bull]

Couple of things Dave:

 

You referred to West Ham's record signing - Haller. I think he'll come good and is better than that chicharito jambroni. I've seen him play for Frankfurt last season and their front 3 of Haller, Jovic and Rebic were tasty. In fact, I referred to Haller as one of my choices for a back up striker in our summer thread sometime back. Hardworking and a skilful, target man.

 

Everton's last bid for Zaha as I recall reading was 70 million plus McCarthy and Tosun which was rejected. Palace wanted 80 million for Zaha but proceeded to buy McCarthy later but rejected Tosun which is funny.

 

Lukebakio was loaned to Fortuna Dusseldorf where he scored 8 goals in 22 appearances. Wts interesting is if Berlin paid 18 million for him, how much was Grujic valued at being regarded as their best player ever? 

[Mark M]

You’ll love VAR this gameweek Dave 

[Butch]

Where's the new puppy pic dave? 

Great reading as always.