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Bruce Spanner

I'd Not Stick A Tenner On It, But...

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Bold claims for the new season.

 

City to win the Milk Cup only and Pep gone at the end of the season.

 

Wan Bissaka will be an excellent signing, Maguire will start getting the knives around October for not being world class 'and that's what you expect for that fee'. United to finish 6th, with Goblin seeing the season out and then stepping aside.

 

Spurs will flatter to deceive and go out of the CL in the group stages.

 

Pepe will be 'alright' as only Arsenal players can be.

 

Lampard will be 'ok' in his first season, but be bolted out very early in the second when the expectations and pressure change.

 

Wolves will have a relatively good season and, with Everton, challenge the traditional hegemony before falling off in the last few games.

 

Barcelona & Madrid will be shitfests and both managers not seeing the season out. Atlético to go close/win the league.

 

I'm going to really go out on a limb now.... Juve & PSG might, just might, scrape a league win.

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Tony to finally turn his back on modern football, and to walk into the wilderness around Parbold Hill and become a hermit.

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Liverpool, Spurs, and City to all finish above 85 points, but City still manage to win the league by 8 points.

 

Brighton to be the surprise package from the unheralded teams and finish top half.

 

Leicester to finish in the top six. I can't decide if it will be at the expense of Arsenal, United, or Chelsea. They could finish ahead of two of the three, actually.

 

Salah to win the Golden Boot with 29 league goals.

 

Keita finishes third (to Salah and van Dijk) for Liverpool player of the season after proving key to our midfield.

 

Everton to finish eighth and their fanbase to be totally divided about whether that represents huge progress or a total disaster. Zaha to be talked about as a flop after he scores 9 league goals and no one can figure out why they paid so much for him when they already had Richarlison in that position.

 

Newcastle's relegation to be all but confirmed by the end of January when they're on 16 points.

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We will get 105 points in the league, however we will finish second on goal difference behind Man City who score one more goal than us.

Loads of Liverpool fans will blame FSG and Klopp for not signing an extra attacking option who could have come on as a sub in at least one game to net the extra goal we needed.

 

Everton will come 7th, 54 points behind us, but they will be delighted as they "cost us the league" by only losing both games to us by a 6-0 aggregate score, rather than the 12-0 they lose to Man City.

 

VAR will prove to be an absolute shitfest with the technology breaking down numerous times, massive amounts of fuss around disputed decisions and after a dubious penalty given against Manchester United the FA will tweak the system by removing the video aspect and using a team of trained cats in each stadium to assist referees on offside and handball decisions.

 

Zaha will sign for Everton and win 12 penalties via VAR decisions in the first half of the season, once the new system is in place he will proceed to win 0.  Everton fans will complain about cats being a redshite conspiracy.  Crystal Palace will use the transfer money on a new stadium grown from copper sulphate crystals. 

 

Solskjaer, Lampard, Rodgers and Emery will all be sacked by the end of the season.

 

Brighton, Sheffield United, Newcastle, Norwich, Bournemouth and Aston Villa will all be relegated.

 

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18 minutes ago, Peter Cormack said:

Wayne Rooney will replace sacked Silva in March; and get Everton relegated the following season.

Make it happen!

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3 hours ago, suzy said:

6 teams relegated? When did that rule change happen!

You’re right Suzy, I might have gone a bit too far there.

You’re with me on the cat stuff though eh?

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5 minutes ago, Jose Jones said:

You’re right Suzy, I might have gone a bit too far there.

You’re with me on the cat stuff though eh?

Yeah,cats are useless cunts so are just like referees.

 

PS I'm only Suzy at night,sweetcheeks.

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3 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

You’re right Suzy, I might have gone a bit too far there.

You’re with me on the cat stuff though eh?

I loved it all, was out of rep at the time!

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3 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Yeah,cats are useless cunts so are just like referees.

 

PS I'm only Suzy at night,sweetcheeks.

Hahaha

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On 06/08/2019 at 21:13, Sixtimes Dog said:

Surely the big news here is that Manchester City have discovered time travel which allows them to compete in a competition that hasn't existed since the mid 80s.

Cheating again, the bastards.

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