Featured: That was the week that was (Jul 20-26 2019)

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Saturday Jul 20:

 

Robbo discusses what happened with the spider bite that caused him to come back with a big bandage on his hand. He got bitten on holiday and it ballooned up. Stuff like that terrifies me as I’ve seen so many of those horror stories when a bite turns into a big lump, and then out of the blue a load of fucking baby spiders burst out and start running around.

 

If that happened to me I might have to end it all, simply because I couldn’t cope with the post traumatic stress of it all. I’d be having nightmares for the rest of my life. I’m not that bad with spiders. I never kill them and most types I find in the house I’ll just pick them up with my bare hands and put them outside. So I’m not a massive shithouse like I am with wasps, for example. I don’t like those big common house spiders though. They give me the fucking hereby jeebies. I’ll pick them up, but only with a bit of tissue.

 

Anyway, I’ve gotten sidetracked here. Back to Robbo. He reckons some of the lads have been making spiderman gags and calling him Peter Parker. By ‘some of the lads’ I assume he means Milner, as it’s defo gonna be him isn’t it? Here’s the thing though, imagine this was a Peter Parker situation and Robbo got these powers that made him a super hero. How would we even be able to tell the difference?

 

Speaking of left backs, we’re meant to be after one from Augsburg. I’m all in on that, as the last player we got from Augsburg was arl Ragnar, and he was boss. Actually it may have been Manninger, I can’t remember. Anyway, this lad is called Phillip Max and he’s a former Bayern and Schalke player. He’s 25, so not sure how reliable this story is. I mean, it’s basically like a back up goalie situation. Any left back who comes here knows he ain’t gonna play because Robbo is the best in the business. 

 

The other team that want him are Barca though, so it’s a similar situation there as you’d have to assume he’s not getting much game time ahead of Alba. They had Digne there and he couldn’t get a game. Look at him now, he’s thriving at the Pit and he’s their best player. 

 

It’s not going to be easy signing a specialist left back, so it’s either go with Milner and the kids or bring in someone who can play more than one spot. Sessegnon would have been someone who might fit that bill but we’ve shown zero interest in him since we tried to buy him two years ago. Weird one that. He’s close to joining Spurs apparently, and such is the confidence I’ve now got in our transfers, that immediately makes me think he can’t be as good as everyone thought he was going to be. It’s a great place to be, considering it wasn’t that long ago I was putting a curse on them all and their children after the Deli All debacle.

 

Sunday Jul 21:

 

So we had a ‘friendly’ with Sevilla tonight. Who’s fucking bright idea was it to play these cunts? Actually it was Jurgen’s. He ought to know better than that. These are dirty bastards. Horrible, cheating, diving, dirty, snide bastards. 

 

They were like that in the Europa Final. They were like that in both Champions League group games, and they were even like that when we played them in the kids version of the Champions League. That was one of the occasions when Brewster was racially abused, and both games against them were proper bad tempered, nasty affairs. 

 

They’re a fucking horrible club, and tonight proved it behind all doubt. It wasn’t just the horror ‘tackle’ on poor Larouci. Even before that they were kicking us off the park. Their centre half spent the entire first half trying to Funes Mori big Divock. They were surrounding the ref at every opportunity and celebrated their goals like this was a proper match. 

 

Everyone is kicking off about the lad who booted Larouci, but he’s not the problem here. He’s a symptom of it. He’s basically just the spot, while Sevilla themselves are the measles. That assault on Larouci was a result of how their whole team (and presumably coach) approached the game. He doesn’t do that if they aren’t all completely fucking hyped up and looking for a war.

 

The most telling aspect of the whole thing was after the assault, with Larouci on the floor in agony, their players didn't check on him to see if he was alright, they surrounded the fucking ref to complain about a decision he hadn't given seconds before. One of the cunts even yelled in Yasser's face as he lay on the ground.

 

The challenge was scandalous though, and although he at least had the good grace to issue what was actually a pretty decent apology as these things go, it doesn’t make up for what happened. Don’t fucking play these twats in a friendly ever again, Jurgen.

 

Meanwhile, Zidane says of Bale “we hope he leaves soon. If tomorrow it’d be better”. Disrespectful bald fuck. I’ve got no love for Gareth Bale but I do respect him, because how can you not? Great player who has done remarkable things for Madrid that would be enough to make him a legend literally anywhere else. Yet they’re running him out of town and Zidane is saying shite like that? Hair envy is a terrible thing.

 

Also today, a new six year contract for De Gea that will earn him £112m in wages. See, he boxed himself in with the last deal he signed, because in the meantime all of the big clubs that could have afforded him have all filled their keeper position and he was literally left with nowhere to go, so he’s just taken the dough and stayed at United. I reckon he’s lost his motivation now, which is why he was shite last year. 

 

 

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[Paul]

Little bit disappointed you missed the opportunity to have a pop at Monty over your Sakho point there mate. 

[sir roger]

I thought Sakho was playing very well for us before the drug test and hindsight is 20:20 when you have subsequently bought VvD. He is a bit clumsy but I wouldn't say he is much different to the likes of Maguire who is going for £80m.

 

As for the full back thing I see Alves is struggling to find a club & would cover both sides, get enough games and offer a real winner's mentality. Also, I don't want to hear about how much he would want , we are fucking minted after the last 2 seasons.

[dave u]

Alves couldn't cope with the physical demands of playing full back for us. He's in good shape, but he's 36.

[deiseach]

Quote

Hair envy is a terrible thing.

[sir roger]

3 hours ago, dave u said:

Alves couldn't cope with the physical demands of playing full back for us. He's in good shape, but he's 36.

I know what you are saying , but he has averaged 20 games a season for the past 3 seasons at  Juve & PSG and would not expect him to need to play much more than that. He would also add to the Samba vibe with Bobby & Alisson.

 

I feel he would be fare better than us playing BGJ or the 2 kids there. 

 

Bit worried that the overall plan is to keep using Gomez to give him games to keep him happy. but not where he is best.

[dave u]

Yeah Gomez at right back does little for me either, but as you say it's way of keeping him involved if he's not playing centre back and it isn't ideal.

 

I think Hoever will force his way into the discussion though, and that's as big a reason as any why they won't go for an Alves or another experienced full back.

[StevieMax]

On 30/07/2019 at 11:24, dave u said:

Yeah Gomez at right back does little for me either, but as you say it's way of keeping him involved if he's not playing centre back and it isn't ideal.

 

I think Hoever will force his way into the discussion though, and that's as big a reason as any why they won't go for an Alves or another experienced full back.

I think that Hoever looked good again last night - if Jurgen thinks he's good enough he'll play him.  Age won't be an issue - it wasn't with Trent.