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Featured: That was the week that was (Jul 6 - Jul 12 2019)


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Saturday Jul 6:

 

The lads are back in training which means one thing. Milner killing everyone in the lactate test. He’s great isn’t he? Oldest fella there and no-one can stay with him. Joe Gomez was the closest but Milner burned him off on the last lap. It's a little frustrating that half the squad are always away when he does it though, as I'd love to see him and Hendo go head to head on this. I reckon Sadio would be a monster too, as he never seems to get tired.

 

That wasn’t the only video I saw of players running today though. One popped up on my twitter timeline of Pogba running through Central Park. He had someone video it for him so he could post on his social media accounts. He was wearing a shirt with his name on the back too, just on the off chance that someone in New York actually know who he is. What an attention seeking alert he is. 

 

His team-mates are doing their pre-season work back in Manchester but he’s spending the week in the US doing some stuff for Adidas. Imagine him trying to pull that shit when Ferguson was in charge. That club is a fucking mess right now and I love it. Also, this was the most running we’ll see Pogba do all season.

 

Egypt are out of AFCON. Mo was devastated but from a selfish point of view it means he’s back a week early. Get some rest Egyptian King, and let’s fucking take City’s crown off them.

 

Over at the Copa America, Messi was sent off in one of the most scandalous decisions I’ve ever seen. He was repeatedly barged and shoved and provoked by Gary Medel, and he didn’t react and didn’t hurl himself to the floor. He just stood there. And he got sent off. Defo some payback by the ref after Messi went public about the officials screwing them over against Brazil. 

 

Such a bad decision this one though, I’m genuinely angry about it even though I don’t have a horse in this race. How can a decision like that happen when they have VAR? You know what, just fuck it off completely as we’re still getting as many shit decisions as ever, it’s just that it takes longer to make them.

 

The England women’s team lost their third / fourth placed play off match. Presumably this means MBE’s for Phil Neville and Ellen White? I know it sounds ridiculous, but if Southgate and Kane got them for the exact same achievement then how is this any different? 

 

Sunday Jul 7:

 

Megan Rapinoe isn’t happy that the Women’s World Cup final is being played on the same day as two other finals and thinks FIFA got it wrong. I got three words for ya. Wah. Wah. Wah. Didn’t hear the South Americans whining that the Copa America was being held on the same day as a World Cup Final. Brazil won that so congrats to Bobby and Alisson. Quite the summer for them lads. 

 

Sadio might be adding to his silverware collection too as Senegal are still going strong and he’s currently the top scorer in the competition. I wonder how many of our lads are going to be in contention for the Balon d’or? Alisson will get some attention now and Mané might if Senegal win. Messi’s stock has fallen these past couple of months too. It’s gonna be Big Virg, isn’t it?

 

Meanwhile, there was another cup final today that went under the radar somewhat. No, I’m not talking about the US Men’s team losing the Gold Cup to Mexico (although that did go under the radar in America, as they only cares about winners). No, the final I’m talking about is the SportPesa Cup. A trophy invented by Everton so they could win something. The trophy even looks like old big ears. You’ve almost got to admire that brazenness of it all. Only problem is they forgot one thing. Winning the game.

 

They lost to Kariobangi Sharks, a team from Kenya. I’m not sure what the level would be over here but I’m guessing the standard is going to be sixth or seventh tier at best. It finished 1-1 and they lost on pens. In fairness, it was mostly a team of kids but even so, it’s still funny as fuck. Theo Walcott played though and had the same kind of impact he usually has in the Premier League. He’s the most pointless player in football. I actually hate him even though there is no reason for it. I hate how pointless he is and that he was a better player when he was 18 than he is now. Utter waste of fucking space.

 

This kind of shit could only happen to Everton though. The Kenyan lads were doing daft celebrations after each pen too, it was just incredibly funny. The keeper even scored the winning pen just to add to the amusement of it all. This is exactly why I no longer write about them in any great depth. Their reality is funnier than any punchline I can come up with. I used to be boss at that too. Taking the piss out of the Blues was arguably my greatest strength in life. Then they robbed me of it by continually beating me at my own game. 

 

As a sidenote, when I searched for the highlights of this so I could watch the shoot out, I came across their official channel and I noticed they only had 128k subscribers. To their official fucking youtube channel! For context, ours has 2.6m. How does an established PL team only have 128k subscribers? Come on people, help them out, they’re worth following for the comedy aspect alone.

 

In other news, Shaq is going to be out for a while with a torn calf picked up when he was with the Swiss. Ok, this seems odd to me. Have you seen Shaq's calves? How the fuck do you tear one of those things? Do the Swiss have one of those machines from the new Stranger Things that the Russians are using to tear a hole into the 'upside down'?

 

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article

 

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You've got to love that Fabinho story though. Sheer force of will and belief.

Fills the soul, it really does. Compare that to a post match interview from Roy Hodgson and you just have to pinch yourself and appreciate how far we've come and what Jürgen has awoken in us

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5 hours ago, etho said:

You've got to love that Fabinho story though. Sheer force of will and belief.

Fills the soul, it really does. Compare that to a post match interview from Roy Hodgson and you just have to pinch yourself and appreciate how far we've come and what Jürgen has awoken in us

"[Northampton Town]'ll be a formidable challenge”

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I came across their official channel and I noticed they only had 128k subscribers. To their official fucking youtube channel! For context, ours has 2.6m. How does an established PL team only have 128k subscribers?

 

Remember though, one of them is worth twenty of us. Quick maths + Everton logic suggests that the number of subscribers is almost exactly the same. 

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Likes:

  • The report; fab.
  • "... I don’t have a horse in this race." Never heard that before. I'm both unworldly-wise and easily impressed.
  • Wimbledon... ...don't allow any riff raff in there". Absolutely right; we certainly don't.

 

Dislikes:

  • Typo - you spelt 56 wrong. You wrote "46". Dick. 

 

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On 18/07/2019 at 19:15, Anubis said:

Not sure Dave should be dissing another person’s hairstyle....

 

Hey, I had some nice compliments on my hair this week. All is revealed in this week's diary.

 

That's what's known in the writing game as a 'teaser' that is.

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