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Featured: That was the week that was (Jun 29 - Jul 5 2019)

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Saturday Jun 29:

 

Uruguay are out of the Copa America after losing on pens to Peru. The decisive penalty miss was from Suarez. Not been a good couple of months for him has it? In fact, I can pinpoint the exact moment it all started to go wrong for him. It was when Messi scored that free-kick and Suarez ran over and laughed in Robbo’s face. Ever since then, karma has been beating him like a red headed stepson. A lesson to be learned there. Don’t fuck with the best, coz the best don’t mess.

 

I saw Paddy Berger posted a message today saying “Happy Birthday to the love of my life”. My first thought was, “Ah, it’s Vladi’s birthday?” Turns out he meant his wife. He posted a pic too, and it might be the first pic I’ve seen where Vladi wasn’t in it with him. I love how those two are though, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside every time I see Paddy and Vladi together, still best mates after all these years. 

 

It’s actually reached a point where I get worried when Paddy posts a picture and Vladi isn’t with him. “No Vladi? I hope he’s alright. What if they’ve had a falling out? Ok, Paddy, WHERE THE FUCK IS VLADI?!?!?” Mock me if you like, but I challenge you to look at this picture without smiling though.

 

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Meanwhile, Rafa Camacho signed for Sporting and says it was always his dream to play in their first team. That would be why he left them to join Man City, and then chose to sign for us rather than go back there then. Righto. Good luck to him though, I hope he does well there because we’ve got a sell on clause and a buy back option. Here’s a thought, if we exercise the buy back do we still get a percentage of the fee? It’s Michael Edwards, master negotiator, so probably. If there’s any flies on him, they’re paying fucking rent.

 

Sunday Jun 30:

 

Alexander Doni (remember him?) reveals he was the one who first brought Alisson to our attention a few years ago. “When I saw him play, I immediately recommended him to John (Achterburg) and tried to get him signed. I explained to John that he was a very skilful player and that he would soon play for the national team. The first time I saw him playing for Inter, I knew he had what it takes to succeed in the Premier League.”

 

I liked Doni, I reckon he was probably the best back up keeper we ever signed. He had a good pedigree and that one game he played (at Blackburn I think?) he looked really good. He could have pushed for the number one spot if he hadn’t developed that heart condition. We then replaced him with Brad Jones, the worst keeper I’ve ever seen play for us (aside from that Itandje prick). I’ll never forget that game at Old Trafford when Jones dived the wrong way for all three United goals. Incredible scenes. Not as incredible as him getting Feyenoord’s Player of the Year. I can only assume that was an elaborate wind up of some sort.

 

On the transfer front today, Bobby Duncan is reportedly wanted by Benfica and Porto. Really? This seems unlikely to me, as one thing Portuguese clubs have little trouble with is finding their own talented youngsters, and if they can’t produce them in house they go shopping in Brazil. I find it hard to believe they’ve been scouting down in Kirkby and have set their sights on Bobby somehow. Regardless, he isn’t going anywhere.

 

In more wild speculation, Klopp is apparently ‘open’ to a re-union with Coutinho. So say Le10 sport anyway, whoever the hell they are. The Reds were supposedly impressed by him denouncing a move to United. I’m not sure I believe that, but even if it’s true it’s hardly enough reason for Klopp to think “you know what, he’s pissed the mancs off so let’s go and get him back”. I’d love it if it was (other than Mbappe no signing would make me happier than bringing O Magico back), but that’s not how these things work.

 

Also today, Arsenal offered £40m for Zaha. I mean really? This is Suarez all over again, only without the extra pound. Palace will want double that, and even then they might not sell because the clown show have already given them £50m for their right back. Haha is fucking boss, but the problem is he’s worth a lot more to Palace than what people would see his market value as. How much would you say he’s worth? £60m maybe? £70m at an absolute push given how mad the market is now. What would Palace rather have though, Zaha or £70m? He’s worth £100m to them easily, as he might be the difference between staying up and going down.

 

One club that doesn’t have to worry about transfer fees is Juve, who today signed Rabiot on a free. Of course they did. They’re such bad scabby bastards aren’t they? No-one loves a freebie more than Juve and they seem to be obsessed with collecting centre mids as well. They’ve almost got as many as we have.

 

Some sad news to report now. Hendo has got a big tattoo of Big Ears on his thigh. I don’t like this at all. I’m not a tattoo fan as you probably know, but they’re fine on certain people. Skrtel and Agger could pull it off and actually looked quite cool. Hendo shouldn’t be doing this shit though as it looks completely out of place on him. He’s from the same school as Carra, Stevie and Milner. No tatts on those lads. Hendo has let himself down there.

 

 

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Yeah. Really enjoyed that. Love the Czech mates photo too. I'm 100% with you on Luis, too. I'll have your line about Coutinho and Mbappe but substitute Suarez' name for Coutinho's: he'd be amazing.

 

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2 hours ago, Jimmy Hill's Chin said:

He’d have to clean Robbo’s boots and CL medal for a week first.

That would need to be included in any contract. Almost goes without saying.

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You know the sort, those Reds who just can’t sit by and let any perceived sleight against him go unanswered. They must have some kind of bat signal that goes off above their house any time someone takes a shot at him. It's proper weird.

 

I'm not sure what you mean.

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5 hours ago, Scott_M said:

If Holland score today one of the woman should pretend she’s in a hot dog eating competition on Coney Island on 4th July. 

Saw a video of one of those contests the other day. The fella who won ate about 70 or something. The contestants weren't even fat, it was bizarre. Not sure how a stomach can hold that much unless you're a big thirty stoner.

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Played a championship golf course once in my life. Stepped up to the first tee and had a group of old lads (clearly members) staring at me as I went to play. I got so nervous, I missed the ball completely and sent a lump of turf about 20 yards. I then got in a rage at the stupid old farts still staring at me so I strode up to the ball and without breaking stride, twatted it 250 yards down the middle of the fairway, gave them a 'piss off' smirk then fucked off in the buggy with my mate.

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I'd offer Barca £100mil and Coutinho £250k a week just before the window closes. 

 

Then tell him he's failed the medical due to a dodgy back injury.

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My first ever kit with a name on the back was Berger on the back of that cream kit.  I think it’s my favourite kit of all time.

 

I couldn’t disagree more on the Suarez thing though.  We are currently built on Klopp’s ethos and it just doesn’t fit.  The whole club is built on no egos and the lads actually getting on and liking each other.  It means they’re all willing to go to the wall for each other on the pitch.  It’s why on those occasions when certain players make selfish decision it irritates me beyond belief.  It’s the thing that sets us apart.  We can’t beat the top teams by signing all the best players for the most money and buying one of these show pony chequebook managers in who just let those players do what they want and pat themselves on the back when they win a trophy.

 

Players and fans loved Suarez because he was a world class player (probably the best in the world) when we had a mediocre team.  He was that much of an headcase though Rodgers was terrified of subbing him never mind resting him.  Klopp wouldn’t give a shit like but it wouldn’t stop Suarez kicking off.  He would come back here thinking he’s bigger than the club and it would ruffle too many feathers.  I don’t think it would be long before Robbo was nailing him in training either.  We are a genuine family under Klopp and some of these signings people talk about just do not fit within it whatsoever.

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Autocorrect got me with Zaha.

 

As for Suarez, his team-mates have always loved him. That would be the least of my worries. He wouldn't come back thinking he's 'the man' either as he'd be walking into a club that are Champions of Europe and who spanked him and Barca.

 

He probably wouldn't like being subbed or not starting every game, but he's getting older now so if he wants to stay at the top level he'd better get used to a bit of rotation.

 

It won't happen for a variety of reasons, not least I don't see the club spending on a player of his age unless it was on a free like Milner was.

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