Jaws

[Evelyn Tentions]

Number 4 was during Caines do anything for a quid period. He is on record as saying " I haven't seen it. I have seen the house that it bought though and its lovely"

[dave u]

The premise of number four is that a shark, presumably related to one of the sharks killed in the first two movies, decided to leave his natural habitat to go the Bahamas because he knew Brody's kid was there and he wanted to eat him to get revenge. Brody's other son had already been eaten by the way.

 

I mean really? Someone came up with that idea, and not only did they not realise how utterly ludicrous it was, but no-one who read the script bothered to tell them.

[Bjornebye]

What I love about Jaws is that no matter how much money they throw at a shark film (See Deep Blue Sea or The Meg) they will never ever ever get close to it. 

[Pureblood]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

What I love about Jaws is that no matter how much money they throw at a shark film (See Deep Blue Sea or The Meg) they will never ever ever get close to it. 

Reef is a good non-Jaws shark flick. 

 

Or Backcountry,  If you want Jaws with a grizzly bear.  Tremendous movie.  

[Bjornebye]

6 minutes ago, TK421 said:

Reef is a good non-Jaws shark flick. 

 

Or Backcountry,  If you want Jaws with a grizzly bear.  Tremendous movie.  

Or Cujo if you want Jaws with a dog

 

Or Gravity if you want Jaws in space with no significant violent threat 

[SilverSong]

Or Brewsters Millions if you want Jaws without a shark, or water, or boats, or tension, or pressurised cylinders.

[Bjornebye]

Or a Pot Noodle if you don't fancy watching a film with a shark in it 

[Pureblood]

Actually, just watch Jaws.  Nothing comes close to watching that speech about the Indianapolis for the 300th time.  

[Scooby Dudek]

A few posts on page 2 are definitely NSFW. 

[Bellflower]

Always wanted to do a White shark cage dive.

Saw an 18 footer alongside on a tour boat off of Chatham Massachusetts some years ago.

Changed my mind...……..

[General Dryness]

40 minutes ago, Bellflower said:

Always wanted to do a White shark cage dive.

Saw an 18 footer alongside on a tour boat off of Chatham Massachusetts some years ago.

Changed my mind...……..

Sorry mate, I'll remember to put my trunks on next time I go for a swim alongside a tour boat.

[dave u]

I went sea fishing on a boat in Wales a few years ago. Catching dogfish mostly. Dogfish, for those who don't know, are a member of the shark family and therefore have skin like sandpaper. One of the buggers wrapped himself around my hand and ripped the top layer of skin off.

 

It looked much worse than it was, there was a fair bit of blood and it left some scarring for a few months. Anyway, for as long as that scar was there I was doing a Quint impression and showing it off, saying "Dogfish. Two footer. Got me with his tail off the coast of Llandudno".

 

Never failed to make me laugh. 

[Bjornebye]

11 minutes ago, dave u said:

I went sea fishing on a boat in Wales a few years ago. Catching dogfish mostly. Dogfish, for those who don't know, are a member of the shark family and therefore have skin like sandpaper. One of the buggers wrapped himself around my hand and ripped the top layer of skin off.

 

It looked much worse than it was, there was a fair bit of blood and it left some scarring for a few months. Anyway, for as long as that scar was there I was doing a Quint impression and showing it off, saying "Dogfish. Two footer. Got me with his tail off the coast of Llandudno".

 

Never failed to make me laugh. 

"Heres to swimmin with rep and negged dickheads"

[Red74]

No matter what point this films at when I turn the telly over, it has to be watched to the end. 

 

Will never not be in the top 5 films of all time 

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Or Cujo if you want Jaws with a dog

 

Or Gravity if you want Jaws in space with no significant violent threat 

I've seen the film without a shark but with a grizzly bear. It's called Claws. 

[TheHowieLama]

Easily one of the best Bond villains -- the big lug

 

 

[Bjornebye]

31 minutes ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

I've seen the film without a shark but with a grizzly bear. It's called Claws. 

I watched a Glaswegian porno once it was called "Dirty Maws" 

[Harry Squatter]

I did a cage dive off the coast of Cape Town in 2004. We went to a place called Dyer Island where loads of seals sit off sunbathing.  The sharks just circle it all day. Reminds of a McDonald's drive in when the queues are massive. 

 

We had to go out at 6am and it was fucking freezing. I was expecting a massive yacht with a steel cage like the one Hooper goes in but it was literally a small boat with a lobster cage on the side. I said to the guy that the boat was tiny considering there was about 15 people doing the dive. Told him we needed a bigger boat and he just looked at me and said "I've never heard that one before mate"

 

As soon as we got out there the water was choppy and I spent the majority of the ride spewing up over the side. The captain said that the best way to get rid of seasickness was to get in the cage and cool down. As soon as I did and got in the water a shark came flying up to the cage and bit some of the meat off the cage. So not only had I been spewing up, I think I shat myself and almost had a heart attack. 

 

Saw a few more swim past before getting back out. Later on a baby great white decided to bit the wooden platform at the back of the boat and hold on. We all ran over and rubbed it's head as the guy said not to hit it. It eventually relaxed and let go. Those black eyes are horrible though. Quint was right about them.

[Harry Squatter]

Jaws 3 is fucking shite. That fella from Casualty saying "i can guarantee" every 5 minutes. Thinking up inventive ways for the shark to eat people and even stay alive in its mouth. Plus the special effects were shite even for 1983. 

[Leyton388]

The book is fantastic.

[Guest]

 

[Chip Butty]

Boss film and I was lucky enough to go on the Jaws ride at Universal studios the year before they got rid of it. Park opens, everyone legs it in, guess where to? Yep, park empty everywhere bar a fuck off big queue after 10 minutes over at the Jaws ride. 

 

As proud to say I went on the ride as I am of saying I love the film. 

[Red74]

I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for jaws 3. My parents never took us the pics and one night me mar had murder with me dad and dragged me and my brother to watch it in the odeon on London road. My dad was on the cabs and she robbed his cash box and bought us loads of sweets as well.

 

We were made up and prayed for them to divorce for years so we could play them off against each other but they never did and we never went the pics with them again.

 

Cunts 

[Red74]

18 minutes ago, Chip Butty said:

Boss film and I was lucky enough to go on the Jaws ride at Universal studios the year before they got rid of it. Park opens, everyone legs it in, guess where to? Yep, park empty everywhere bar a fuck off big queue after 10 minutes over at the Jaws ride. 

 

As proud to say I went on the ride as I am of saying I love the film. 

My daughters just come back from Japan and went to universal while out there and the first thing they headed to was the jaws ride. Sadly it was all in Japanese and she’d just about had enough of them by then. She said she was like cartman in the waterpark that day. 

 

anyway, boss ride that could and should have been kept

[Jennings]

There's a great line in the second one from Brody when he takes a boat from someone called Hendricks. He then asks Hendricks for directions to where the shark is pursuing his kid...

 

BRODY:  Where the hell are they?

HENDRICKS:  About ten degrees off your starboard bow.  You take—.

BRODY:  Don’t give me that shit.  Point!