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Fanzine Summer Issue captions

dave u

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No regrets from the Nou Camp's new Brazilian darling


Luis Suarez: "Ah Good times, I told you you'd love it over in Barca though mate".

Coutninho: "Yeah...best decision ever...loving every minute..."
Photographer: "Erm, do you want to smile Phil or are you sticking with that grimace thing you're doing?"










As a model professional Henderson always followed the textbook advice on medical issues


Problematic Gait: On long journeys you may need to get something to keep your feet elevated on, to ensure correct posture.








Robertson is not impressed with disrespectful questions at pre-match press conference.


Journo: "If you qualify will you be doing a cup final song? You could maybe do it with a novelty act like The Proclaimers?"



...but luckily he didn't let it bother him at all.


Robbo: ...I mean, seriously, novelty? Sunshine on Leith is a genuine masterpiece for god's sake..."

Ref: "I say again, I do not know these people"
Messi: "Increible!".









Robbo looks to take a very Native American approach to dealing with his vanquished enemies

Image result for robertson messi shove

AR: "Stop cryin' and sit still will yer man. I'm no gonna kill ya, I'm just takin' yer scalp".












Nobody did film-reference burns quite as well as Andy Robbo


AR: "I'd better not see you supping out your little beaker after the match mate. Coffee is for closers."












Messi realizes he made a BIG mistake putting money in that fortune telling machine


LM: "That fucking Zoltan!












It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.


That's how winning is done.












What we do in life echoes in eternity


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  • 1 month later...



AR ‘I Innie fucking havin’ it. This wee gobshite sayin’ that terminal velocity in stable, belly-to-earth position, terminal velocity is about 200 km/h (120 mph). Stable freefall head down position has a terminal speed of 240–290 km/h (around 150–180 mph). Further minimization of drag by streamlining the body allows for speedsin the vicinity of 500 km/h (310 mph)! I only said they’re sinking quicker than anything I’ve ever and this wee Rainman cunt comes out wiv this shite. ....Oh, we’ve just scored another...

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