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Barcelona 3 Liverpool 0 (May 1 2019)

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Report by
Dave Usher

 

This has really hit me hard. We went there and played great, but somehow we've come away with the same scoreline that United did after their pitiful showing here a few weeks back. Football is a right bastard at times.

 

For two years I’ve been desperate to play these and despite the result, in a weird kind of way the game proved why. I was convinced we could get at them and we did. But if you don’t take your opportunities then you have absolutely no chance of beating anybody, let alone a team with Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez in it.

 

Klopp described it as “our best away performance in the Champions League” and I agree with him. We were much the better side for most of the game, yet the tie is all but over now and I’m just fucking gutted. Be careful what you wish for I guess. 

 

Some people are asking “how did we lose that game at all, let alone 3-0?” but there’s no mystery here. It’s pretty simple. We missed too many chances (some of them sitters) and we were made to pay for that by the greatest player in the world. Lady Luck pulled down her knickers and shit all over us again too.

 

It’s really hard to take because they were there for the taking. We had them right where we wanted them but in the end it could have been much worse than 3-0 because the last 15 minutes were a complete, disorganised, desperate shambles.

 

It really shouldn’t have been that way though. Not given how we played. Did anyone expect us to go there and play as progressively as that? We treated that game like we were playing away at Bournemouth. We pushed high up, pressed them in their own half and actually had more possession than them. At times they were just hoofing it to clear the danger and they had everyone bar Messi and Suarez back behind the ball.

 

That’s not how I expected it to go. I knew we could hurt them but I thought it would be from quick counter attacks and exploiting the space behind their full backs. I expected us to play more defensively than usual but to use our speed and skill on the break. Instead, like I say, we just went out there and played like we were up against a mid-table Premier League side.

 

And that’s what the game looked like, barring one minor detail. Mid-table Premier League sides don’t have Messi. We were clearly the better team but it didn’t matter in the end because that one great player made all the difference. I’m still finding it hard to process it all. Nobody goes to the Nou Camp and plays like we did. It just doesn’t happen, it was commendable. 

 

We went there and stood toe to toe with them. There was no thought about keeping it tight and getting a result to take back to Anfield. We just went out there and attacked them. We dominated that game and were the better side for most of it. Yet we lost by three and they could have scored another three on the break late on.

 

 

This is just a teaser, click to view the full report 

 

Please note that Match Reports are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

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I just can’t get worked up about Suarez. This is a bloke who in an interview admitted he cheats to win when he’s playing board games with his kids, so desperate is he to win. He is what he is. Agree with you about trying to trigger them next week though.

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I thought that first goal was virtually impossible to defend against, and you so often see keepers take a chance guessing where to be. In fairness to Alisson, he's normally guessed right in situations like this.

 

I agree totally where Suarez is concerned. I hope nobody makes him feel welcome next week. I hope Carol and Caroline and the chicken staff spit in his Bovril. The goofy cunt!

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I'm not sure about booing/whistling/jeering Suarez, but not for sentimental reasons. Mainly because he fucking loves it; he gets off on that sort of treatment. Inject it into his veins, as he'd say, if he were on Twitter. He's a natural fighter, and a fighter only gets more scrappy when the odds are against him. That sort of treatment will work with someone like Sterling, but for Suarez it'll act as an adrenaline rush. Let the players rile him; we should treat him as an irrelevance. That angers fighters more than anything.

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Whatever about booing him, I'd be fucking staggered if any of our fans wanted to pay him any tribute at all.

 

Half and half scarf while filming the match with your smartphone territory, that. Would be like the glorified exhibition game against Real a few years back when Ronaldo was applauded off the field.

 

 

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I said after last year's final that our players need to ramp up the gamesmanship stuff to really go toe to toe with the likes of Real Madrid and Barcelona. We might be able to match them footballing wise but whenever they feel they aren't in control of a situation, they just ramp up the shithousery. European refs simply allow that sort of thing. Once these teams know the ref won't do anything, they just ramp it up even more as eventually the opposition players will stop doing anything constructive because they feel they cannot lay a glove on them.

 

I hate myself for even suggesting such a thing but in the modern game, all the successful sides at both club and international level have realised that it makes all the difference between winning things or just getting close.

 

At club level, the likes of the Madrid clubs, Barcelona and Sevilla have dominated the European club competitions, and it's certainly not all down to the quality of footballers they've had. At international level, the Spanish, German, Brazilian, Portuguese and French sides have all won major honours and all had teams who were happy to bring a dose of cynicism to the party.

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To his eternal credit, I don't think Klopp has the gamesmanship gene in him. It probably puts him and us at a disadvantage at times. Of course, this woudn't be as much of an issue if referees did their jobs properly.

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It's taken you a while Dave, but I've kept a seat warm for you on the Suarez hate train.

 

Hope Robbo kicks him so hard his testicles explode out of his anus, the sight of which makes Messi wretch with such force he vomits his intestines out like a frog that's been trodden on.

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Usual comments about we should learn to be shit house cunts like Barcelona, real and the rest of them. May as well employ mourinho or some other shitcoat manager if you want to go down that road. It isnt something you can do in halves either. You either play the shithouse game or you dont and for that reason, I dont want us to engage in it.

 

Anyways, I love Jurgen to death. He may not win a thing for us. Would I care? No not really. He's got me back on the bus when I was thinking of giving up my seassie because I was fed up at the constant moaning. Sure, Id love him to win something with us but I'll not even be standing at the bus stop of wanting him sacked if he doesnt win anything next year or the years beyond.

 

My only criticism is we always, always want to chase the game and score a goal even when shutting up shop and not conceeding might be the better option. Yes, I know why Jurgen waved alisson forward in the dieing seconds, an away goal would have been priceless. But we nearly got screwed by a 4th and that would have been it.

 

Talking of shithousery, what a cunt coutinho has turned into. We put the ball out on the halfway line for one of theirs to get treatment. They throw the ball back in and he neatly lobs it over our goal line for a goal kick and they all push up to the edge of our box. The shithead didnt learn that at Anfield.

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Great report Dave.

On the Suarez thing I used to find it weird when he left us how lots of our supporters were fawning over goals he'd score for Barca and delighted when he won trophies for them. Reminds me a bit like what Bellemy was playing with us you used to love having him in your side but when he's at another team you look at him and think... Cunt!.

 

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Fuck all the shithousery.  A good honest kick the shit out of them for 90 mins would do me.  Take as many out with injury and retaliation sending offs as possible.  

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44 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

Talking of shithousery, what a cunt coutinho has turned into. We put the ball out on the halfway line for one of theirs to get treatment. They throw the ball back in and he neatly lobs it over our goal line for a goal kick and they all push up to the edge of our box. The shithead didnt learn that at Anfield.

Didn't realise that was him, I thought it was Rakitic.

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Could not agree more on Messi - testify brother!

 

Used to love him back in his goofy, massive centre-parting days. He was the antithesis of Ronaldo:  someone who seemed to love the game, love that he was so good at it and play with a carefreeness as a result. Yeah he'd get the kicks and stuff but he just seemed to shrug it off, know he was better than it and respond with brilliance - which in turn he'd enjoy. Compared with Ronaldo - mouthing off, diving, gesticulating at team-mates, arguing with refs, the lot - he was a breath of fresh air.

 

Now though? This fucking emo Messi is a right little cunt - avoiding tax? Check. Deciding who he wants as Barcelona manager? Check. Deciding who he wants as Argentina manager? Check. Fucking off Argentina because he doesn't think the rest of the team are good enough for him? Check. Diving? Check. In the refs ear all game? Check. Being a prick to opponents? Check. Like Ronaldo did years ago, he seems to think that because he's the best footballer on the planet (which he is) that he's untouchable and football owes him everything (which it doesn't). All of this is bad enough but it seems like the vast majority of the football media give him a free pass based on the credit he built up when he was younger - well not for me. He's one of the leading shithouses in world football, and that's saying something.

 

Ronaldo is a cunt but seems to just get judged as one. This little prick is a stealth cunt, where his behaviour from 10 years ago still seems to get applied to him now. And fuck off Lineker. He's never going to marry you.

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Playing Gomez instead of TAA was inexplicable... it always makes us less of a threat and even so we should have scored 2 maybe 3

Sometimes you just have to take it on the chin

God, I hate those entitled Barcelona cunts

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As bad as the English referees are, the ones we've had in some of the big European games in recent years have been even worst. I just don't think he was prepared to make any sort of decision that might upset their fans last night. Some of the tackles their players didn't get punished for were ridiculous. And whilst the amount of cheating and moaning from a lot of the top sides is pretty hard to watch these days, no one else ever seems to be anything like the level of the big 2 Spanish teams. Sadly, we've found that out to our cost in the last 2 seasons. To be honest, I wouldn't mind if we did try it ourselves against them next week. Fuck playing nicely against a team like that. But I'd hate it if our players acted like that on a weekly basis. God knows how Messi is seen as some sort of bastion of great sportsmanship whilst Mo seems to have acquired a reputation for being a cheat. 

 

 

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I was pissed off last night, but now I’m fine. Not arsed by Suarez or Messi. Two great goals, one fluke and some shite finishing did for us with a bit of poor officiating in the mix. 

 

Looks unlikely in both CL and PL now (although far from impossible), but I’m still buzzing about this fucking team. They’re amazing. 

 

Need that fourth match winner though. Then we’re set. Roll on Newcastle. 

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1 hour ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Nah, I reckon Maradona's got a little tiddler, but huge balls; like a cocktail sausage perched atop two scotch eggs at the world's least appetising buffet.

Well known side effect of cocaine misuse. Genitoporkitis is no laughing matter

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