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How many wipes is good enough?


Oh Buoy
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2 hours ago, Mudface said:

Here's a forum killer- do you wipe sitting down or standing up?

How the hell does one manage to wipe sitting down? Surely your arse is in the toilet so how do you get the tissue in there? Do you take someone in with you who can reach between your legs and wipe the arse? 

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Standing up to wipe. Whatever next. Lift a cheek, unless you are so fat you would need a truckload of scaffolding to do so. 

 

If you stand up you are going to create a Rorschach image of shit around your arsehole. What do you standers do with it? Invite your mates over for a look? 

 

“Ere, Mook, tell me what this looks like. I want to see if you’re a sicko”. 

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Keep going til either I stop seeing brown or start seeing red. 

 

 

Failing that I might just get a small wad of toilet roll folded a few times and jam it in there. I just need to hope I don't forget because if it slips out and rolls out of my trouser leg without me realising then I end up having to explain why there's a smelly brown japanese flag in the middle of the floor. 

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