Fuck ups, cover ups, lies and deceit.

[Oh Buoy]

Before we get into the ins and outs of what this thread is about, I just wanted to call you a nonce because that's what you are and that's why you entered this thread, isn't it?

 

Utterly disgusting but welcome home.

 

This thread is for those little acts of "oh shit" where you've weighed up being honest, bending the truth or covering the hole thing up and pretending it never happened.

 

I'll start.

 

Just drilled through some ceramic dish thing to add drainage to it because it was filling up with water and the misses wasn't emptying it. Drilled through the wrong end because I'm half asleep and chipped the bit you can see. Weighed up confessing but I know she'll just want me to replace it. Glued the chipped bit back on and put my shampoo over it and now I'm just waiting to see how long I'll get away with it for.

 

I think that's probably just ruined the thread with how shit that story was.

 

Sorry lads.

 

 

 

[littletedwest]

I got a dice stick up my nose when I was 7, rather than admit it was my fault I tried to blame my little sisters friend who was 4 saying she rammed it up there. 

My dad didn't believe me, I missed thundercats as I had to go to hospital. 

Was only a small dice although I do have big nostrils

[Babb'sBurstNad]

I put a vase over a big mark on the mantelpiece when I was selling my house.

 

Capricorn One's got nothing on me.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Lying is for twats. I never lie. I’m a twat.

[SasaS]

I once started a fight with an older and bigger boy in kindergarten which was interrupted by the cook who happened to be passing by. She accused him of bullying me and took me to the kitchen to give me biscuits and placate me, the poor thing. I never fessed up. In fact I laughed at the boy behind her back.

The biscuits were shit though.   

[Tony Moanero]

3 minutes ago, SasaS said:

I once started a fight with an older and bigger boy in kindergarten which was interrupted by the cook who happened to be passing by. She accused him of bullying me and took me to the kitchen to give me biscuits and placate me, the poor thing. I never fessed up. In fact I laughed at the boy behind her back.

The biscuits were shit though.   

 

 

What were they?

[SasaS]

8 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

What were they?

 

Imagine the shittiest biscuits you ever had and then imagine their Eastern European socialist country counterpart. I was chewing on one for a while, thinking, is this actually punishment for my behaviour?

Something called Sport Keks.

[Tony Moanero]

Just now, SasaS said:

 

Imagine the shittiest biscuits you ever had and then imagine their Eastern European socialist country counterpart. I was chewing on one for a while, thinking, is this actually punishment for my behaviour?

Something called Sport Keks.

Did you dunk them?

[Babb'sBurstNad]

12 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

What were they?

 

1 minute ago, Tony Moanero said:

Did you dunk them?

I reckon you should do a series of interviews with major political figures, but only biscuit-based questions. They reveal so much more.

[SasaS]

5 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Did you dunk them?

 

No, she wouldn't give me milk and we forgot to put cocoa in that particular five-year plan.

[Strontium]

When I was a kid, my sister had some Plaster of Paris models she had made all lined up along the picture rail in her room. I broke one by accident. Instead of telling her, I just superglued it back together. Don't think she ever noticed, I did a great job to be fair.

 

In chemistry class I dropped a mercury thermometer. I managed to sidle away from the scene of the crime in time to avoid copping the blame for that.

 

Probably the only two occasions I ever managed to hide the results of my arch clumsiness.

[cloggypop]

1 hour ago, littletedwest said:

I got a dice stick up my nose when I was 7, rather than admit it was my fault I tried to blame my little sisters friend who was 4 saying she rammed it up there. 

My dad didn't believe me, I missed thundercats as I had to go to hospital. 

Was only a small dice although I do have big nostrils

There's a Fall song for pretty much everything. 

 

 

[cloggypop]

2 minutes ago, Strontium Dog said:

When I was a kid, my sister had some Plaster of Paris models she had made all lined up along the picture rail in her room. I broke one by accident. Instead of telling her, I just superglued it back together. Don't think she ever noticed, I did a great job to be fair.

 

In chemistry class I dropped a mercury thermometer. I managed to sidle away from the scene of the crime in time to avoid copping the blame for that.

 

Probably the only two occasions I ever managed to hide the results of my arch clumsiness.

Mercury is fucking dangerous you pleb. Shouldn't be leaving that for someone else. Fucker to find it all after it splits into little balls as well. 

[Strontium]

6 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

Mercury is fucking dangerous you pleb. Shouldn't be leaving that for someone else. Fucker to find it all after it splits into little balls as well. 

 

Liquid mercury is not that dangerous, unless you're going to drink loads of it or something, and I didn't see anyone getting down on their hands and knees to lap it up. Besides it was spotted almost immediately and the teacher got the lab technician in to clean it up with powdered sulphur. So please untangle your knickers.

[cloggypop]

You're as mad as a hatter. 

[Pureblood]

Just a little mercury spill.  I'm sure nothing bad resulted from it.

 

[Anubis]

1 hour ago, littletedwest said:

I got a dice stick up my nose when I was 7, rather than admit it was my fault I tried to blame my little sisters friend who was 4 saying she rammed it up there.