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Premier League Round Up (Feb 2-6 2019)


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Remember what I said last week about not wanting Newcastle to go down because they beat City? Yeah, forget that. I take it all back after watching them hand Spurs three points late on at Wembley. 

 

They gave it a good go for a long time and yes, it might seem harsh holding it against the entire club when it was just one howler from the goalkeeper that lost them the game, but tough shit. It’s a team game, so I’ve had one of my trademark changes of heart and now I’m back to wanting them to go down. It could happen too, they’re only a couple of points ahead of the drop zone.

 

Spurs are really doing my head in now. They just won’t die. They’re like Michael Myers. When we got to nine points ahead that was it, they were out of it and there was even a lot of talk that they might struggle to hold onto a top four spot with the injuries they had to their forwards. They lost a couple of cup games which added to the ‘Spurs are fucked’ narrative, but then I look out the window and there they are stood there in their fucking stupid hockey mask after they dug in and found a way to keep scraping wins in the league.

 

They briefly even went above City this week, which is good in one way, because fuck Man City, but bad in another because it keeps them right on our heels.

 

The sooner Jamie Lee-Curtis shows up and finally finishes these fuckers off for good the better. And if she could take care of City for us as well that would be nice.

 

A couple of weeks ago Chelsea would have been fancying their chances of catching Spurs, but then the arse fell out of them completely and all of a sudden there was talk that Sarri might be in trouble.

 

They got back to winning ways on Saturday with a 5-0 romp over Huddersfield in which Higuain bagged his first goals since his loan move from Serie A. Hazard got a couple too, and David Luiz wrapped it up late on with a deflected header.

 

As I’ve said, I’m curious to see how Higuain does over here as it’s always been my suspicion that he’d flop massively if he ever moved to the Premier League. Taking over the cursed Chelsea number nine shirt only added to that feeling, and these two goals do nothing yet to make me change my mind.

 

Why? Because it was Huddersfield. Even slumping Everton beat Huddersfield. There’s no real achievement in Chelsea hammering Huddersfield and it proves nothing about whether they’re back on track or not. The Terriers are game and they’ll try their best, but they pose no threat whatsoeve, which makes them a pushover.

 

It’s like going into the boxing ring against an opponent with no arms. He’s ducking and weaving and he’s brave as fuck, but he’s got no arms so you can just throw everything at him knowing you aren’t going to get hit and that eventually you’ll just beat the shit out of him.

 

So as of now, I’m still saying Higuain is a fraud and I challenge him to prove me wrong this weekend against City. If Chelsea beat City I promise to listen to Madness songs in the car all next week, and I really fucking hate Madness. Those irritating baggy trousered Chelsea pricks did their best to single handedly ruin the 80s.

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article

 

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  • dave u pinned this topic

That Ashley Barnes situation....... it was clearly a foul, the goalie impedes him, ergo penalty. But he also pulls a Tom Daly by throwing himself over the goalie.  That's obviously befuddled the tiny brain of Anthony Taylor who can't process the fact that he's just witnessed a foul and a dive at the same time......and makes the wrong call. What makes it funnier is hearing Dyche on 5Live this morning talking about 'natural' and 'unnatural' falls, suggesting that Barnes' fell into the former category when the reality is that he just didn't have enough momentum for him to have gone over the the goalie the way he did and needed some self-propulsion.

As for Everton - just checked their line-up....which was one designed to keep the score down, not win a game, so I suppose, we have to be thankful for small mercies.

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It’s like going into the boxing ring against an opponent with NO ARMS . He’s ducking and weaving and he’s brave as fuck, but he’s got NO ARMS so you can just throw everything at him knowing you aren’t going to get hit and that eventually you’ll just beat the shit out of him.

 

IN THE BLUE CORNER weighing in at 10lb 9oz Jordan Pickford 

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18 minutes ago, Dr Nowt said:

All about the league this year.

 

3 games in a week, middle one away at a resurgent United. 

 

Come out of those at least as far ahead of City with ten games left and we’ve got a huge chance.

 

Ignore me mate, just realised I completely misread your original post. Deserve a justice neg.

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14 hours ago, Vincent Vega said:

 

Ignore me mate, just realised I completely misread your original post. Deserve a justice neg.

I misread it too. Almost lumped him in with the mass negging I've had to dish out to all the Madness wrong 'uns in here.

 

Mick, I expected better. To say I'm disappointed would be an under statement.

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