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Captain Turdseye

Timo Werner

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Timo, I know you’re reading this and I want you to know you’re our only hope. You’re different to the others. You ain’t like those Griezmann and Aubameyang threads I was fucking about with. You’re the real deal. If you’d played tonight instead of Sturridge we could have maybe scraped a draw and everyone would be happy. Just sign the fucking contract, man.

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