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15 Young Studs To Watch Out For In 2019.

3 Stacks

By 3 Stacks,
in FF - Football Forum

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3 Stacks Grand Master

3 Stacks

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Credit to @El Rojo for the idea.

 

With the new year having just been (Dave) ushered in, I thought what better time to scour the football world and rank the studliest of its young players. 

 

Conditions: To be considered a stud, a player must be 21 and under. Why? Because I said so, that's why. Only Gen Y and Zoomers apply. @Hades Also, no keepers because none of them are worthy. 

 

Methodology: If the player is already established in a big league, their national team or a European competition, he gets an advantage. Secondly, how flat-out electric is the player? If you watch him play and your conclusion is "wow, that kid is an absolute electric factory", he gets an advantage. Last but not least, how physically attractive is the player? If the answer is "so much so that I'd let him fuck my wife and I'd get pleasure out of it", he gets an advantage.  In addition to their actual performances and achievements, every player will get ranked based on these three variables.

 

One last thing. This will be long and comprehensive because I'm passionate about the subject. Let's get to it, baby.

 

15. Alphonso Davies, Winger, Bayern Munich and Canada, baby!!!!! Age 18.

 

To start off, this kid has done absolutely nothing to deserve being on this list, but that's not important. What's important is that he is the chosen one. He is currently the only hope that my country of birth will produce a world class footballer and I have every confidence that he will lead the might maple leaf to World Cup glory in 2026. He's also a lovely example of an immigration success story. He was born in a refugee camp in Ghana and moved to Canada at a very young age so he could flee conflict. Thank fuck he chose Canada. 

 

In reality, I have no idea if he's any good or not because he's so young and has played weak competition, but Bayern saw enough to pay 10m euros for him and that hope will carry me through for now. 

 

Electricity: Very fast, shifty in tight spaces (oily hips as they say), can use both feet. The ingredients are there. I have to say, as his fellow countryman, my heart races when he runs with the ball and that's what counts. 

 

Looks: Sex. In truth, he could look like anything and it wouldn't matter. 

 

Image result for alphonso davies

 

14. Pietro Pellegri, Centre Forward, Monaco and Italy. Age 17.

 

So, mostly because of injuries, this kid hasn't really done shit yet at Monaco after sealing a 21m euro move from Genoa. He only has 1 goal in 6 Ligue 1 appearances.

 

Electricity: That said, at his former club, this is a guy who played a Serie A match at the age of 15 and is the youngest goal-scorer in the competition's history. If that's not electric, I don't know what is.

 

Looks: Gotta be careful because he's not 18 yet, but my God is this kid good-looking. I mean look at this guy. He could fuck your girl at a moment's notice. I'll be honest, this is mostly why he makes the list.

 

Image result for pietro pellegri

 

13. Luka Jovic, Centre Forward, On Loan at Eintracht Frankfurt from Benfica and Serbia. Age 21

 

An important part of being a stud is doing work when on loan. Young players often find themselves in this situation and few actually prosper. Luka Jovic is bucking that trend as he scores goal after goal for Frankfurt. I've seen multiple places say that statistically, his numbers look repeatable (I don't have time to look at stats anymore myself) and he already looks like a pretty complete player, not just a finisher. He's got a bright future ahead of him. 

 

Electricity: Scored 5 goals in a single game this season. That's how you fucking dominate. Totally alphaed Fortuna Dusseldorf. It goes without saying that being alpha is an electric quality. 

 

Looks: Once had a blond fringe and brown sides for a hairstyle. Did well to get rid of that. Besides that he kind of looks like a high school bully. Like he could kick my ass and would enjoy it. Bad boy. 

 

Image result for luka jovic

 

12. Marcus Rashford, Forward, Manchester United and England. Age 21

 

Regardless of bias, the kid is good. He's a pretty calm finisher having scored 39 goals thus far in all comps despite having been managed by two offensively conservative, over-the-hill frauds.

 

Electricity: He's quick, has pace and is quite nippy. Those qualities do indeed make him electric in my eyes.

 

Looks: He's disgusting, we all know that. His nose is so long he could probably pleasure a woman with it. No need for a pic, everyone knows he's ugly. 

 

11. Jadon Sancho, Winger, Borussia Dortmund and England. Age 18

 

Young Jadon is currently tearing up the Bundesliga and is a key piece for top of the table BVB at the tender age of 18. We'll all despise him when United or Chelsea get him or if City pull a Pogba, but for now he seems like a decent chap.

 

Electricity: Plays with vision, agility and flair, all key components to making a kid pure electricity. 

 

Looks: Lightskin, a redbone man, which I'm told women like. Lovely complexion. Not a totally repugnant face, although the facial hair is a bit weak. Pretty fresh haircut. Nothing really wrong with him. 

 

10. Ruben Neves, Central Midfielder, Wolverhampton Wanderers and Portugal. Age 21

 

When he was 18, he captained Porto in a Champions League match making him the youngest captain ever in the history of the competition. Since then, got a move to Wolves where he's been pretty good. I'll be honest, I think he's a bit overrated because he's slow, not that agile and not that great defensively, but he's got technique in spades.

 

Electricity: Can he hit a dead-ball into the corridor of uncertainty? Check. Can he hit a Stevie G Hollywood ball? Check. Can he hit a thundercunt from 35 yards? Check.

 

Looks: Ruggedly handsome, strong jaw, lovely hazel eyes, 5 o'clock shadow, thick head of hair. Kid's got it all.

 

Image result for ruben neves

 

9. Frenkie De Jong, Central Midfielder and Centre Back, Ajax and the Netherlands. Age 21

 

This is the player who determines whether you know what you're talking about or not. Basically, if you don't acknowledge that he could become the best thing since sliced bread in midfield, get out of my face. His potential is completely off the rails. Once he signs for a big club he'll be a runaway freight train. 

 

Electricity: He's absolute velvet. Touch is softer than the finest of silks. He's got vision and moxy on the ball. Not a pussy. 

 

Looks: Like a token white kid. You, the reader, probably know a bunch of guys who look just like him, but one thing they wouldn't have is his head of hair, which is nice and textured. 

 

Related image

 

8. Rodrigo Bentancur, Central Midfielder, Juventus and Uruguay. Age 21

 

So this guy is already a pretty regular starter at Juventus and you've gotta be pretty damn good to do that at the young age of 21. Was also pretty solid for Uruguay at the World Cup from what I saw.

 

Electricity: I'm sure he's got qualities but there's nothing that jumps out at me. He plays for Juve and Uruguay so you can bet he's gritty and runs his balls off. Nonetheless, being electric also implies being mercurial and sometimes inconsistent and lazy so he loses a few points here. 

 

Looks: Has the G.O.A.T male height of 6 foot 2, so points there. Olive complexion and classic long on top, short sides haircut. Not super handsome, but your girl wouldn't say no.

 

Image result for rodrigo bentancur

 

7. Matthijs de Ligt, Centre Back, Ajax and the Netherlands. Age 19. 

 

Made his Ajax debut at 16 years old and just won the Golden Boy award this season. Has looked like a man among boys from the second he first stepped onto the pitch at Johan Cruijff Arena and is already a certain starter for a national team that has a deep talent pool at his position. Two words: stud muffin. 

 

Electricity: Centre halves can be electric too. You gotta be athletic, graceful, not a donkey on the ball and you gotta be able to play a high line. This kid fits all the criteria.

 

Looks: Like a frat bro/finance guy. Clean cut but looks like he wouldn't have a weak chin if he had to fight. Pretty handsome.

 

Image result for matthijs de ligt

 

 

6. Joe Gomez, Centre Back, Liverpool and England. Age 21

 

One of our lads. Despite unfortunately being a bit injury prone, really established himself as Virgil's partner and our second best defender this season. You can tell he's got huge potential and if he can stay fit - fingers crossed - he can become one of the best in the world. We can thank Drisco, Aka the great Sean O'Driscoll for blessing us with his wonderful scouting mind and scooping up young Joe from Charlton when he was one of BRodge's assistants.  

 

Electricity: Searing pace, an eye for a line-breaking pass, an air of confidence and cool charisma, versatility. He's the definition of an electric defender. 

 

Looks: Not strikingly handsome, but that's fine. Maybe Virgil makes him look like a scrub in comparison, I don't know. I think he should grow his hair out and have a fluffy afro. 

 

5. Cengiz Under, Winger, Roma and Turkey. Age 21

 

Underrated. Carried his shitty Turkish team to second in their league, has already established himself as Roma's second best attacker besides Dzeko and has been vibrant and productive in the Champions League. He'll be another cash cow for Roma when the time comes.

 

Electricity: His long shots are metaphorical thunder bolts. Also, he's a classic cut inside on his stronger foot and shoot one-trick-pony and those players are all electric. 

 

Looks: He has a fat face. Looks like the type of guy that will gain a ton of weight when he retires. For the purposes of this list, this is problematic.

 

Image result for cengiz under

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              4. Trent Alexander-Arnold, Right Back, Liverpool and England. Age 20

 

Academy product, lovely lad who does a bunch of charity work in the area, established member of a solid defense, disputed a Champions League final last season. People will say that he should become a midfielder, but I think he's a great modern right back. Has some lapses at the back here and there, but he's got the ability to learn and he's a great prospect, if not already a very good player.

 

Electricity: Kid has an absolutely electric fetish. Pregnant women. I don't really get it myself, but it's interesting. Wand of a right foot and can do all sorts of nice things with it.

 

Looks: Ears are a bit big, but we can't all be perfect like me. In fact, I would say it's kind of a perfect imperfection because he kinda still pulls them off. Has an athletic, lanky body that you could imagine him filling out at some point. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              3. Gabriel Jesus, Centre Forward, Manchester City and Brazil. Age 21

 

Coming over to England from Palmeiras in January 2017, Gabby Jesus had all the hype in the world surrounding him. He had mystique. Ronaldo compared him to himself. Thus far, it's a little hard to get a read on him. He was great his first half season, decent last season in a title-winning side and he's been a bit crap this season. Still, he's a 21 year old kid who's been judged to have enough ability to lead the line for Brazil and get games ahead of Sergio Aguero. Gonna gamble here and say he'll be just fine. 

 

Electricity: For a Brazilian forward he's not actually that electric. He's got clever movement and is mobile. Good at scoring tap-ins. Meh. 

 

Looks: Actually find him quite handsome. He's always got a crisp fade which is important. Studs must almost always be looking fresh and his cut is always on point. In addition, he's got nice facial features and a warm smile. 

 

Image result for gabriel jesus

 

2. Ousmane Dembele, Winger, Barcelona and France. Age 21

 

People who follow my tremendous activity on this forum will know I love this kid as a player. From the moment he took the pitch at Rennes I called him, and despite my tremendous knowledge, anyone could see he was an absolute supernova of a talent. I didn't have to go out on a limb. Since then, he's completed a massive move to Barcelona after gracing the Bundesliga with his prodigious ability. Despite being a bit of a cunt, he's proven to be productive and can be the x-factor in any game. 

 

Electricity: He's the blueprint. Accelerates like a LaFerrari, is so two-footed he doesn't know which one is weaker (so how would the defenders!), takes the piss with his dribbling, has a skinny, lanky, unathletic build that belies his outrageous talent. Absolute electric factory. 

 

Looks: Has the baby-face of all baby-faces. If he wasn't a rich pro athlete he'd be getting little-bro'ed and swirlied all over the place. Don't care though because his football is what's attractive and maybe that's what it's all about at the end of the day (no not really, but still). 

 

Image result for ousmane dembele

 

1. Kylian Mbappe, Forward, Paris Saint-Germain and France. Age 20

 

Again, called him before most on here. Not a big deal. To be honest, the first time I saw him play for Monaco in December 2016 I raced on here to say how good he was in order to look smart because it was so incredibly obvious how good he was/is. I'm 24 and he's the best young player I've ever seen. He's got two Ligue 1 titles, one of them for Monaco no less. Won the World Cup and was it's best young player and overall attacker at the age of 19.  He's a true freak of nature and that's what being a stud is all about. That's why he's numero uno.

 

Electricity: Pace of a rabbit, agility of a chicken, power of a young thoroughbred. Only Glen Murray is cooler in front of goal. What a player, folks. What a player. 

 

Looks: Like a Ninja Turtle. If he was handsome, I'd think he was God himself. 

 

Thanks for reading. Thoughts? Comments? 

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VERBAL DIARRHEA Grand Master

VERBAL DIARRHEA

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I will give you my top 5 

 

1 Carlton Coffcandy.  18 year old Antiguan keeper currently in the youth set up at F.C. Donut in Estonia. Likened to a young Frank Lane. Great things expected and would command a nominal fee.

 

2 Vernon Cardboard. 19 year old Welsh fullback currently on loan at Rapid Boill in Austria from Llandudno Athletic. Comfortable either right or left, imagine Steve Harkness crossed with Peter Crouch. Has a bright future.

 

3 Roger Rodgers. 16 year old nephew of Brendan a centre back with immense pace. In the youth team  at Home & Bargain FC in the  Zingari I in Liverpool.

likened to Paul Parker as he is small in stature for a centre back. Plenty of time to grow and is expected to eventually grow beyond 5 feet.

 

4 Wim Wim Yeung. 20 year old Dutch midfielder on the books of F.C. Bong in the  Dutch 12 tier. Hard as nails and with wonderful feet, two of them.

Think Terry Hurlock in his pomp. Future superstar.

 

5 Avery Starburst. 17.Striker at French side Ouiouinon. Tall, gangly and fantastic in the air. A bit raw but to be expected, very tall at 7 feet but could have a high ceiling. Like a tall Kenny Miller. He is also a Liverpool fan.

 

 

 

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3 Stacks Grand Master

3 Stacks

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6 hours ago, aRdja said:

He’s only including Jesus to troll me.

Nah, you gotta remember, looks count highly, and Gabby J kind of looks like Will Smith a little. He's got a fly cut, he's got the sleeve tats. That counts for a lot. Secondly, kid's been a pretty regular starter in a title winning season. Gotta respect that.   

6 hours ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

I will give you my top 5 

 

1 Carlton Coffcandy.  18 year old Antiguan keeper currently in the youth set up at F.C. Donut in Estonia. Likened to a young Frank Lane. Great things expected and would command a nominal fee.

 

2 Vernon Cardboard. 19 year old Welsh fullback currently on loan at Rapid Boill in Austria from Llandudno Athletic. Comfortable either right or left, imagine Steve Harkness crossed with Peter Crouch. Has a bright future.

 

3 Roger Rodgers. 16 year old nephew of Brendan a centre back with immense pace. In the youth team  at Home & Bargain FC in the  Zingari I in Liverpool.

likened to Paul Parker as he is small in stature for a centre back. Plenty of time to grow and is expected to eventually grow beyond 5 feet.

 

4 Wim Wim Yeung. 20 year old Dutch midfielder on the books of F.C. Bong in the  Dutch 12 tier. Hard as nails and with wonderful feet, two of them.

Think Terry Hurlock in his pomp. Future superstar.

 

5 Avery Starburst. 17.Striker at French side Ouiouinon. Tall, gangly and fantastic in the air. A bit raw but to be expected, very tall at 7 feet but could have a high ceiling. Like a tall Kenny Miller. He is also a Liverpool fan.

 

 

 

Never heard of any of these, so I think you're trolling. You seem like a comedic writer though. If you develop the work ethic that I have, maybe one day you could write a similar masterpiece to mine. Good sample though. 

5 hours ago, El Rojo said:

Impressive work from 3Stacks. Hope this becomes a weekly feature, with a chart showing progress up and down the scales.

 

 

Thanks, mate. It won't be weekly, but I think I may bump this thread when a new possible stud enters my radar and impresses me. This will definitely become a yearly feature though.

5 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

Excellent work Monsieur Stacks.

 

Just one query, whither Aouar?

Thanks, mate. Aouar would be in the Hon Mensh section if there was one. I like his game, but you gotta remember, he's 5 foot 9 and looks a little like a rat. For now, as far as I'm concerned, that's a killer until he achieves just a bit more on the pitch. 

4 hours ago, Hades said:

Someone's read Bret Easton Ellis. Nice scouting, Stacksy.

Thank you, Hades. Means a lot. 

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