Premier League Round Up (Dec 29 - Jan 2 2018)

[tlw content]

So Tottenham’s title challenge lasted all of three days then. Having somehow, inexplicably, gotten themselves within six points of us (four defeats and they’re only six behind??) they blew the chance to close the gap to three by shitting the bed against Wolves at Wembley. Spurs gonna Spurs I guess.

 

They had the lead at half time too, before completely imploding after the break. Harry Kane put them in front with a brilliant goal. Fair play to him, we know what he can do with his right peg and from penalties and tap ins, but when he’s banging them in with his left from 25 yards it shows what a great all round striker he is.

 

He’s also a massive twat of course, which he showed in the second half when he was booked for diving. It’s not the dive that makes him a massive twat, its the way he covered his mouth while he was abusing the ref. That annoyed me far more than it probably should. 

 

My displeasure was twofold. Firstly, don’t cover your mouth when you’re talking to an official as it just tells us all that you’re saying stuff you shouldn’t and it’s also ignorant as fuck. If you’ve got something to say, don’t hide it.

 

Secondly, why is he doing it anyway? The gormless bastard talks like he brushes his teeth with superglue. Ain’t no busy lip reading bastard getting any joy trying to decipher what that big chinned slobbering goon is saying.

 

He’s now Harry Kane MBE of course. He’s always been that in my eyes. The MBE standing for Massive Bell End. Seriously though, I’m struggling with this as I have no idea what it’s for. Presumably it’s for the World Cup, as Southgate got an OBE.

 

England beat a few shit teams and found themselves in a semi final, which they lost. Yet they’re being lauded like the boys of 1966. This country are proper losers. Oh you beat Sweden and Colombia? You’re supposed to beat Sweden and Colombia you low expectation having muthafuckers!!

 

Credit to Wolves though, they were boss. I’ve said before that they’re perfectly equipped to play against the better sides and the results they’ve had have against the big boys are remarkable for a newly promoted side. They’ve beaten Chelsea and Spurs and drawn with United, Arsenal and City. They’ll probably beat our fringe players in the FA Cup next week too.

 

That Jiminez is a good player. I like him. He’s not lightning quick and he’s not prolific, but he’s clever. He was interviewed on MOTD immediately after Kane, and all joking aside, it was easier to understand the Mexican lad than the England captain. 

 

Conor Coady was loving it and was the first one in on all the goal celebrations. He’s the captain of course so no doubt he was delighted for his team, but I bet the Reds being top put a bit of extra oomph in his celebrations. Probably singing Allez Allez Allez too. Fuck you, Spurs.

 

 

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[Closer To God]

Oh ffs! At work crying with laughter at that Schindler's list. People are staring at me. 

[index1000]

To be fair to Sarri I doubt Pulisic knew he was going to Chelsea until some Fat ugly Russian looking twats bundled him into the boot of a car.

[aws]

I was sort of half-aware of that Watford player. Sema-conscious if you like.  

[buster69]

Excellent report Dave. Just a couple of things. For me, Fraser looks like a long lost cousin of Shaqiri. Is that a further reason why he qualifies for "My Boy" status? Seeing as you "Love Shaq" and all... 

 

Also, you're saying Kane is unworthy of being in the honours list because other people are more noble than him. Eh, did you see the people who get honoured in these things? Jimmy Saville, Phillip Green, people who were involved in the Hillsborough cover up...Kane is probably one of the least worst people on it! 

[DaveTucker]

Great report!

 

The hand over the mouth thing seriously does my head in. Did I miss a spate of instances where players got in trouble due to lipreaders as I can't even recall one yet everyone is at it.

And why would you do it while talking to a ref? At least if you are talking to a player you may be calling him a cunt or worse but presumably he wasn't doing that to the ref.

[Dr Nowt]

Killer sign-off. Nice.

[sir roger]

22 hours ago, DaveTucker said:

Great report!

 

The hand over the mouth thing seriously does my head in. Did I miss a spate of instances where players got in trouble due to lipreaders as I can't even recall one yet everyone is at it.

And why would you do it while talking to a ref? At least if you are talking to a player you may be calling him a cunt or worse but presumably he wasn't doing that to the ref.

My first thought was that 'Arry must have really big hands.

[Tj hooker]

Cracking read made me laugh quite a few times 

[suzy]

On 1/4/2019 at 1:34 PM, DaveTucker said:

Great report!

 

The hand over the mouth thing seriously does my head in. Did I miss a spate of instances where players got in trouble due to lipreaders as I can't even recall one yet everyone is at it.

And why would you do it while talking to a ref? At least if you are talking to a player you may be calling him a cunt or worse but presumably he wasn't doing that to the ref.

I hate it too. I notice Mo does it quite a lot which saddens me.