Someone's having a real laugh - sperm of gollum to Utd.

[General Dryness]

Ole couldn't cat less.

[Anubis]

That took me down memory lane, to this classic. You could just substitute the names....

 

 

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/this-will-not-be-a-disaster-moyes-keeps-telling-himself-2013050968042

 

 

This will not be a disaster, Moyes keeps telling himself

9th May 2013

 

NEW Manchester United manager David Moyes has spent the last 24 hours reassuring himself that this is not going to be an unmitigated catastrophe.

 

Following the official announcement of Sir Alex Ferguson’s retirement Moyes told friends that he felt like Roy Scheider in Jaws when the camera zooms in on him in that really weird way.

 

According to his friends, Moyes spent 14 hours in his toilet yesterday staring at himself in the mirror, practicing how to look as if he knows what he is doing.

 

One source said: “He keeps telling himself that Manchester United is the world’s biggest club run by clever people who make really important decisions every day. “Which means they must have a very good reason for choosing someone who has never won anything. And so there’s nothing to worry about. “And then he goes back into the toilet.”

 

Another friend said: “He’s had the words ‘it’ll be fine’ tattooed on to his left palm. “Yesterday I had to tell him to stop staring at it or we were going to crash.”

 

The friend added: “He’s also written a poem for Robin van Persie. I told him he didn’t have to do that and then he started to cry.”

[Dr Nowt]

He’s going to get eaten alive next season.

 

For our viewing pleasure.

[Iceman]

Hoping for them to get a few good wins early doors to get the Ole's at the wheel song going again, before humiliation and total destruction leading to massive in-fighting and huge fall out.

 

Then give it giggseh till end of t'season and make him be the bastard who finally takes them down. 

 

 

[Boss]

There's a great story on ESPN about Manchester United's recruitment team wanting to sign De Ligt after the Europa League final in 2017 and one of their scouts convinced them not to because his dad was too fat.

 

 

There's hardly an ounce of fat on him.

[manwiththestick]

2 hours ago, Boss said:

There's a great story on ESPN about Manchester United's recruitment team wanting to sign De Ligt after the Europa League final in 2017 and one of their scouts convinced them not to because his dad was too fat.

 

 

There's hardly an ounce of fat on him.

And yet Luke Shaw and Lukaku..

[magicrat]

Looks like Madrid going cold on the Pogba deal so with any luck they will be stuck with the overpaid self-important turd next season. He's another Ronaldo without the benefits of being a regular match winner.

[littletedwest]

Seen on redcafe they are adopting another team for next year. Sort of like Everton do but on a yearly rather than game by game basis

[Harry Squatter]

9 hours ago, magicrat said:

Looks like Madrid going cold on the Pogba deal so with any luck they will be stuck with the overpaid self-important turd next season. He's another Ronaldo without the benefits of being a regular match winner.

They are signing Ferland Mendy, a left back from Lyon for 45m. Already signed that Militao for 45m as well. They might actually have a strategy rather than spunking loads on Pogba.

[Harry Squatter]

Meanwhile at Old Trafford 

 

[manwiththestick]

3 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Meanwhile at Old Trafford 

 

Surprised they weren't too preoccupied singing Blue Moon tbh.

[Bobby Hundreds]

That's just grim. Pogba has been poor but that's just uncomfortable to watch. 

[Dr Nowt]

That’s nowt, you should see Stringy curling one out on Hendo’s doorstep.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

1 hour ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

That's just grim. Pogba has been poor but that's just uncomfortable to watch. 

I know it's United but...."You're fucking shit" said the fat bastard to the world cup winning millionaire.

[Oh Buoy]

1 hour ago, Doctor Troy said:

Meanwhile at Old Trafford 

 

 

Quite sad to watch really.

I know it's United and all that but hard to watch seeing fans abusing their own.

[Thoth]

PL pts compared to 17/18 (exc. promoted teams)
Man City 2
Liverpool 22
Chelsea 2
Tottenham 6
Arsenal 7
Man Utd 15
Everton 5
Leicester 5
West Ham 10
Watford 9
C.Palace 5
Newcastle 1
Bournemouth 1
Burnley 14
Southampton 3
Brighton 4
Huddersfield 21

[magicrat]

3 hours ago, rotoq said:

I know it's United but...."You're fucking shit" said the fat bastard to the world cup winning millionaire.

Sweet music

[Special K]

5 hours ago, magicrat said:

Sweet music

I know, it's fucking brilliant. Don't know why anyone thinks it's a bad thing. It's the mancs we're talking about here

[Dr Nowt]

The mood around this chump from journalists has noticeably changed. Has coincided with talk of the chubby hamster reviewing his position.

 

Still think the possibility of him going there is significant. If Poccettinho were to walk from Spurs they’d be mad not to cut Solskjaer loose. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Pogba and United deserve each other. 

[JustTosh]

19 minutes ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

The mood around this chump from journalists has noticeably changed. Has coincided with talk of the chubby hamster reviewing his position.

 

Still think the possibility of him going there is significant. If Poccettinho were to walk from Spurs they’d be mad not to cut Solskjaer loose. 

They seem to not only copy but to gild all the mistakes we did.

Joint management maybe? Hamster and Goblin?

 

[Boss]

 

[Dr Nowt]

It’s magnificent stuff.

 

He was always an enormous part of the problem there, but Mourinho is such a Hindenturd Pogba managed to get the benefit of the doubt.

 

Hope he’s still there next year.

[El Rojo]

2 minutes ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

It’s magnificent stuff.

 

He was always an enormous part of the problem there, but Mourinho is such a Hindenturd Pogba managed to get the benefit of the doubt.

 

Hope he’s still there next year.

I don't get why Real Madrid would be interested in him. Yeah, marketing and Instagram and all that but they're miles behind Barcelona in football terms and he's hardly going to help with that.

 

Spurs seem to have have lined up moves for Gomes and Sessegnon so hopefully there's some tacit agreement that Pochettino will hang around for another year.

[YNWAViking]

Made up they signed one of the worst ever Premier League managers instead of one of the best, Pochettino. Proper shit decision that. May his reign at the wheel be a long and laughable one!