Someone's having a real laugh - sperm of gollum to Utd.

[El Rojo]

1 hour ago, TheDrowningMan said:

Let’s hope they’re not halfway there. This needs to run for at least another decade.

Good point, sweet child of mine. Sometimes, nothing else matters. 

[Duff Man]

12 minutes ago, El Rojo said:

Good point, sweet child of mine. Sometimes, nothing else matters. 

[El Rojo]

1 hour ago, Duff Man said:

Dude looks like a lady. 

[Boss]

 

[TheHowieLama]

It's not nice there

[Duff Man]

33 minutes ago, El Rojo said:

Dude looks like a lady. 

Touché.

[cloggypop]

38 minutes ago, El Rojo said:

Dude looks like a lady. 

Foxy

[magicrat]

5 hours ago, Pistonbroke said:

Yeah, maybe's calling him a Yard dog is a bit harsh, but he isn't as good as many think either. 

True but City wouldn't mess about if they didn't rate him. Wouldn't surprise me if he plays well in that team.

Anyway Utd being screwed over by the bigger boys on the other side of the city is main thing

[manwiththestick]

27 minutes ago, magicrat said:

True but City wouldn't mess about if they didn't rate him. Wouldn't surprise me if he plays well in that team.

Anyway Utd being screwed over by the bigger boys on the other side of the city is main thing

All within the boundaries of financial fair play of course..

[magicrat]

7 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

All within the boundaries of financial fair play of course..

Goes without saying 

[Dr Nowt]

Paul Pogba is just the latest example of the difference between perception and reality that is crippling Manchester United

By Oliver Holt for the Mail on Sunday22:00, 22 Jun 2019, updated 22:45, 22 Jun 2019

• Jesse Lingard uploaded a Snapchat video of himself and Marcus Rashford
• The image of their friend Jamal Branker gyrating will stick with United fans
• The sight seemed like the perfect analogy for a club wallowing in its impotence
• Paul Pogba wants to leave and his situation sums up what is happening at club 

At least no one will have to ask Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford where they went on their holidays when Manchester United's players return for pre-season training. No need to waste time on pleasantries. The only catching up they need to do is with Manchester City and Liverpooland we all know that is going to take a while.

 

But one image of the sojourn Lingard and Rashford enjoyed in Miami Beach may still linger with United fans — and the rest of us — for a while. When Lingard decided to give us a video tour of the apartment the players had shared on their trip, he wandered into one room and captured his friend, Jamal Branker, face down and gyrating with a pillow.

 

Branker's name may at some point pass into United legend as rhyming slang but the sight of him attempting to have sex with an empty bed seemed like the perfect analogy for a club wallowing in its impotence while the conquests are being made elsewhere. At United, the good times have gone away. All that's left are some crumpled sheets and an urgent need to get the cleaners in.

 

 

 

It has been six seasons since Manchester United won the Premier League but even with the signing of Daniel James and the imminent arrival of Aaron Wan-Bissaka, it has been another summer of drift, procrastination and discontent at a club that was once so dominant in English football.

 

The club have become the Premier League equivalent of a giant wood-chipper, chewing up the reputations of players and managers, devouring mountains of bank notes and leaving a few piles of sawdust to show for it.

 

The failure of executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward to appoint a director of football in the summer is yet another sign of a club gripped by stasis and incompetence.

The hard truth is that United are further away now from reclaiming the hegemony they enjoyed under Sir Alex Ferguson than they ever have been.

 

In their quest to rediscover the glories of the past, they have gone right back to square one. This is England's biggest club, stuck in one Year Zero after another.

 

It has got to the point where it is difficult to see them breaking free of the cycle of despair that they have fallen into. Once, their dominance seemed so free and effortless but now the club have become a soap opera for actors who seem to believe they belong in a better show. 

 

The cycle runs like this: United fail to qualify for the Champions League and so find it hard to attract the best players in the world. The only elite players who consider them are the ones who are coming for the money. Those aren't the kind of characters you build a title-winning team around, as United are finding out. So they leave and the cycle keeps on spinning.

 

This summer, it's Paul Pogba who wants to leave. Pogba is a brilliant midfielder, a player with vision and drive and grace, a star who played a vital role in France winning the World Cup in Russia last year. And yet at United, he has only shown fleeting glimpses of his talent. And now he appears to have grown tired of trying to lift himself out of the bog of mediocrity around him.

 

After this season and everything that happened this season with my season being my best season as well... I think for me it could be a good time to have a new challenge somewhere else. I am thinking of this: to have a new challenge somewhere else,' he said on a personal tour of Japan recently.

 

So instead of United being able to focus on trying to bridge the yawning chasm that exists between them and City, Liverpool and Spurs, it seems as if Pogba's desire to free himself from Old Trafford will be the transfer saga that dominates the summer. Real Madrid want him. Maybe Juventus do, too. Both, of course, can offer Champions League football.

 

United say Pogba is not for sale, but they should get a premium price for him and let him go. They need a reboot. Not more of the same. The formula they're using isn't working. It's not as if they were close to City or Liverpool last season: they were 32 points behind City. They finished as close to the relegation zone as they did to winning the title.

 

Pogba was part of that problem. If he wants to leave, it is obvious he is not going to be part of the solution. He is just the latest example of the difference between perception and reality that is crippling United. They might still possess commercial might but on the pitch their reputation is tumbling. Why would any of the world's leading young players want to make a move to Old Trafford now?

 

They keep being linked with Matthijs de Ligt, the 19-year-old Ajax prodigy. Maybe one should applaud their ambition but is it ambition or self-delusion? Why would a player like De Ligt choose United ahead of Real Madrid or Juventus? Why would a kid with the world at his feet go to a club who look like they are running in quicksand?

 

Mats Hummels has just knocked them back in favour of a move to Borussia Dortmund even though United offered him more money. So even the cash has stopped talking. Wan-Bissaka and James are at least a step in the right direction, talented, hungry young players who will be desperate to prove themselves at Old Trafford.

 

Gary Neville said last week that it would not be possible for United to be champions in the next two years. After that? There are so many changes that need to happen at United, from the top of the club to the bottom, that it may take considerably longer before they are in a position to challenge for the league title again.

 

The inventory is daunting: owners who appear to be asset-stripping the club; an executive vice-chairman who is out of his depth; a philosophy that prioritises making money over glory; a stadium that looks moribund and weary compared to the new developments at Spurs and Anfield; a squad stocked with deadwood and ordinariness; players who don't want to be there; other players who are awfully pleased with themselves for men who have never won major honours.

 

Manchester United, the club pretending to have sex in an empty bed, have a long way to travel before the good times are back.

[TheHowieLama]

Branker?!

I can't even see her!

[Ginny]

Don’t get me wrong I’d love to spark Lingard out and the lad is a complete helmet. But that snapchat vid was just a loads of lads pissing about wasn’t it. Funny though watching all the Mancs on Twitter “this would never happen if SAF was still here” and “get Roy Keane in with Ole to knock these lads into shape” haha they’re trapped in the old days still looking to the old guard to help 

[Duff Man]

Keane being brought back in any meaningful capacity would be absolutely incredible. He'd be going round half the squad's houses after about a week.

[Bjornebye]

28 minutes ago, Duff Man said:

Keane being brought back in any meaningful capacity would be absolutely incredible. He'd be going round half the squad's houses after about a week.

Absolutely. He would get his boots on in training and just go through about 15 of them. Imagine Sanchez sulking in-front of Keane. Or Lingaard doing that floss dance in the dressing room. 

[Dr Nowt]

28 minutes ago, Duff Man said:

Keane being brought back in any meaningful capacity would be absolutely incredible. He'd be going round half the squad's houses after about a week.

This is the only hope United have of even touching Moyes’ comedy ratings.

 

Would make Bellamy attacking Riise with a golf club look like a girl guide’s pillow fight.

[Anubis]

Now picturing Keane booting Raggety up the arse and singing “beans, beans, beans, beans” with each kick in time to a “beans.”

 

My take on that hotel video is a privileged little cuntmuppet walking around a luxury hotel suite that most football fans can only dream of affording, and going on about how the rooms are shit. Just everything people think is wrong with modern football.

[TheBitch]

Keane doesn't give a shit about them. 

[Stouffer]

I reckon most of the United team play Fortnite. 

[Elite]

You can pull the sort of shit Lingaard does if you are performing well on the pitch but when the majority of your fan base are depressed with the current state of the team and he's living it up in Miami without a care in the world it's going to piss people off.

 

In his defence, footballers are totally out of touch with reality and he's a bad tit.

[Josef Svejk]

1 hour ago, Elite said:

In his defence, footballers are totally out of touch with reality and he's a bad tit.

So, you must acquit.

 

[deiseach]

4 hours ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

Would make Bellamy attacking Riise with a golf club look like a girl guide’s pillow fight.

Thanks for reminding me of that farce. Players nowadays wouldn't dare get up to that kind of shit for fear of:

 

[Boss]

They remind me of what we had with the Spice Boys. There was a video when West Ham were pelting their bus and J Lingz was hiding in the aisles like a child. That's when you knew it was over. The ring had been cast into Mordor and the world lived happily ever after again. 

[Harry Squatter]

5 hours ago, Duff Man said:

Keane being brought back in any meaningful capacity would be absolutely incredible. He'd be going round half the squad's houses after about a week.

Giggs would as well but to shag all the players wives while they were at Carrington. 

[Mudface]

Ooof.

 

Quote

Supporters console themselves with the knowledge that Ole is at the wheel. Look closer, though. Unfortunately Solskjær is sitting in one of those stationary kiddie-ride cars found outside supermarkets. It bounces around for a bit. It is exciting for a few seconds. Then it stops