Someone's having a real laugh - sperm of gollum to Utd.

[Ne Moe Imya]

11 minutes ago, Anubis said:

Get the contract out. Put it on the table. Let him sign it. Let him put whatever numbers he wants to put on there.

This was the first thing I thought of when the news came out about them considering Ferdinand as DoF. That video clip alone should disqualify him from any consideration.

 

It's like you had someone in for a job interview, they took a giant shite on the conference room table in front of everyone and your response was "let's discuss salary requirements."

[Dr Nowt]

Ferdinand always was a huge bellend.

 

United frew and frew.

[Josef Svejk]

Mr Forgetful would be a great appointment.

[Bruce Spanner]

 

• Alexis Sanchez – £350,000-a-week*
• Paul Pogba – £290,000-a-week
• Anthony Martial – £250,000-a-week
• David De Gea – £200,000-a-week
• Romelu Lukaku – £200,000-a-week
• Luke Shaw – £195,000-a-week
• Juan Mata – £140,000-a-week
• Phil Jones – £120,000-a-week
• Fred – £120,000-a-week
• Nemanja Matic – £120,000-a-week
• Ashley Young – £110,000-a-week
• Jesse Lingard – £100,000-a-week
• Antonio Valencia – £100,000-a-week
• Marcos Rojo – £80,000-a-week
• Chris Smalling – £80,000-a-week
• Eric Bailly – £75,000-a-week
• Victor Lindelof – £75,000-a-week
• Ander Herrera – £75,000-a-week**
• Matteo Darmian – £60,000-a-week
• Sergio Romero – £50,000-a-week
• Diogo Dalot – £50,000-a-week
• Marcus Rashford – £45,000-a-week***
• Scott McTominay – £30,000-a-week
• Lee Grant – £20,000-a-week

* – Alexis Sanchez’s wages can rise to £500,000-a-week if performance-based bonuses are triggered.

** – Ander Herrera is reportedly in talks over a new contract, which would see his wages rise to £100,000-a-week.

*** – Marcus Rashford is in the latter stages of talks over a new contract, which would see his wages rise significantly to £150,000-a-week.

 

Glorious, all that ‘value’ on the books for years to come as any fucker would need their head checkin’ If they match those wages and pay a transfer fee! 

[The Guest]

On 30/04/2019 at 11:12, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

“Woodward has identified Ferdinand as a strong candidate given his United history and subsequent business experience, which includes a clothing company and restaurant.”

 

How do the writers of this show keep coming up with such great material.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[The Guest]

22 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

• Alexis Sanchez – £350,000-a-week*
• Paul Pogba – £290,000-a-week
• Anthony Martial – £250,000-a-week
• David De Gea – £200,000-a-week
• Romelu Lukaku – £200,000-a-week
• Luke Shaw – £195,000-a-week
• Juan Mata – £140,000-a-week
• Phil Jones – £120,000-a-week
• Fred – £120,000-a-week
• Nemanja Matic – £120,000-a-week
• Ashley Young – £110,000-a-week
• Jesse Lingard – £100,000-a-week
• Antonio Valencia – £100,000-a-week
• Marcos Rojo – £80,000-a-week
• Chris Smalling – £80,000-a-week
• Eric Bailly – £75,000-a-week
• Victor Lindelof – £75,000-a-week
• Ander Herrera – £75,000-a-week**
• Matteo Darmian – £60,000-a-week
• Sergio Romero – £50,000-a-week
• Diogo Dalot – £50,000-a-week
• Marcus Rashford – £45,000-a-week***
• Scott McTominay – £30,000-a-week
• Lee Grant – £20,000-a-week

* – Alexis Sanchez’s wages can rise to £500,000-a-week if performance-based bonuses are triggered.

** – Ander Herrera is reportedly in talks over a new contract, which would see his wages rise to £100,000-a-week.

*** – Marcus Rashford is in the latter stages of talks over a new contract, which would see his wages rise significantly to £150,000-a-week.

 

Glorious, all that ‘value’ on the books for years to come as any fucker would need their head checkin’ If they match those wages and pay a transfer fee! 

Double the lot of them and then you might be closer to what they’re actually getting paid.

[Mudface]

Can't believe Luke Shaw is on £195K a week. Madness. Mind you, he probably needs that for his pie habit.

[Anubis]

 

“Hi, Mr Woodward. It’s Phil. No, not that Phil, the other one. No, not that one either. It’s Gary’s brother. Phil. Phil Neville. Yes, that one. I was just wondering, when will I get my turn?”

[LF:D]

They're in such a mess.

 

The good news for them is they have loads of money.

 

The bad news is their squad is a mess, they have a manager who shouldn't have got the job in the first place & their recent history of buying players since Ferguson has gone is dreadful.

 

The owners are milking the club, Woodward seems inept, they feel hiring ex players because "they get the club" is the right approach.

 

If they feel Mike Phelan, Carrick, Ole, Flecther, Rio etc are the answer to their problems then I think they have many more bleak years ahead. 

 

They feel people in the big roles need to have an attachment to the club.  When actually that's probably hindering more than anything.  They need the best people capable for these roles & to make decisions with no emotion involved.

 

Which is why we are so well set with FSG, Klopp, Edwards, Moore etc 

 

What does Rio know about player recruitment? or Darren Fletcher who I saw linked the other day.

 

It's a highly analytical role now days.  Which is why we have Edwards in charge of the role.  He's no history as a player.  But he is an expert in his area. 

 

Rio will probably think signing Wazza who gets the club & has experience will help. 

 

I hope they keep backing Ole, keeping hiring ex players not capable for these massive roles as City & LFC will continue to have experts running the show. 

[cloggypop]

I reckon Rio is going to get it, be an absolute disaster for 2 years, get sacked then put out a tweet saying that he's merked us all which will explain everything. 

[Dr Nowt]

Apparently he was photographed on the pitch before the Spurs game chatting to van der Sar, and posted the image to Instagram complete with caption ‘Dropping knowledge’.

 

What an unfeasibly septic clunge the man is.

[J-V]

12 hours ago, cloggypop said:

I reckon Rio is going to get it, be an absolute disaster for 2 years, get sacked then put out a tweet saying that he's merked us all which will explain everything. 

Whilst calling people coconuts the racist cunt.

 

[Harry Squatter]

The mancs chasing 40 million Idrissa Gueye to replace Ander Herrera who is being allowed to leave for free. Herrera 30 in August, Gueye 30 in September.

 

I'm sure Rio Ferdinand would put a stop to all this nonsense....

[Grinch]

They're letting Herrera leave on a free, whilst starting McTomminey.... Hahaha

[RobbieOR]

 

I knew Hodgson had a big influence on Scandinavian football but that is too canny 

[Gnasher]

The ole and ed summer signings should be interesting now theyre out of the champs league, both have a lousy record in buying and selling players.

[Gnasher]

I can see the norwich city clobber coming back out soon.

[Anubis]

20 minutes ago, RobbieOR said:

 

I knew Hodgson had a big influence on Scandinavian football but that is too canny 

I can’t believe he said that. It’s the Liverpool fan in him asserting dominance.

[Strontium]

They sacked Mourinho when they were in 6th place and appointed Solskjaer, who has taken them to the dizzy heights of... er, 6th.

[El Rojo]

Tell you what, Huddersfield will know they were in a game today. 

[Harry Squatter]

Should have tried harder against Man City then shouldn't uou. You useless cunts. 

[manwiththestick]

With Norwich getting promoted there will be a big run of production on those green and gold scarves..

[TheDrowningMan]

1 hour ago, Strontium Dog said:

They sacked Mourinho when they were in 6th place and appointed Solskjaer, who has taken them to the dizzy heights of... er, 6th.

The hilarious thing is that a portion of their fanbase is justifying Solskjaer's risible performances by lauding the fact that they’ve accrued the third highest points total since his appointment, failing to take into consideration that the initial boom looks increasingly like a not-Mourinho effect, followed by their worst run since the early 1960s.

[Iceman]

By the Lords of Targos this is shaping up to be a storm of epic proportions. All the elements are in favour to produce a terrible typhoon of sufferation, bile, regret and resignation.

 

• Ridiculously inept manager and top C-Level exec - check.
• Large panic budget and a whole summer to splurge it on totally overpriced shyte - check.
• Agents rubbing their hands together more than Birdman in a little wayne rap vid at the prospect - check.
• No CL footy and Hodgson levels of non-expectation being laid early - check.
• Current bunch of absolute wanker players. 
• Cunt old pros criticizing every move - check.
• Cunt ex-players waiting in the wings to have a go at the job - check.
• Slur still soiling himself and his toxic influence - check. 
• We currently have KLopp and are way better than them - check.
• citeh are now the richest twats in town - check.
• And lest we forget...

 

 

 

                                                 

 

 

 

 

[thegreatelephant]

'YOU'RE SO SHIT IT'S UNBELIEVABLE'