Clumsiness

[KMD7]

I'm the clumsiest bastard alive. This evening I went to replace my front outside light as it was broken but discovered the glass of the bulb had come away from the connection so I had to turn off the main switch on my fusebox (located above the kitchen worktop which meant I had to perch myself on a chair to reach it) so I wouldn't electrocute myself fixing the bulb. Job done so went back inside to turn back on the mains and discovered the he switch was stuck tight so went to get a pliers to try and prise it back up. While reaching in press for pliers knocked over one of the Mrs' vases smashing it. Was dark at this stage so using the torch on my phone began to prise the switch back on and did it so well I snapped it in half while banging my head off the ceiling.  Got the power back on but will have to get an electrician in to put in a new trip switch.  

 

Is anyone else on here a clumsy bastard who shouldn't be allowed near anything DIY related?

[sir roger]

I make Mr Bean look like Sean Connery,

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Had a fair few electrocutions, main issue these days is killing laptops with mugs of tea. Tend to zone out when doing anything technical, which is fine for concentration, however anyone approaches me suddenly and shit goes everywhere with the shock. 2 laptops in 12 months, can’t work without the tea. Start a new job January, means I’m gonna have to explain knocking on my desk to a new set of bods, who are gonna look at me like I have 2 heads. Soon changes after first incident. Last role the DBA opposite me was going to shit every time I get startled, fucking geek chain reaction.

[A Red]

We've got some building work going on and the builder and his missus (friends of ours) are stopping in one of our cottages whilst its being done.

 

She brought her own bamboo plates and saucers as she is constantly dropping everything. We went for our tea the other night and I could see what she meant, shes a fucking disaster zone, a female version of this fella -

 

[ZonkoVille77]

My daughter is very clumsy. Walks into everything. Drops everything. Spills everything. Catches her fingers in zips, doors. She ran at me yesterday to give me a hug and managed to stumble and run straight into my knee giving herself a dead leg. She's 5 years of age and has already broken her arm twice. She has myself and the missus a nervous wreck.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Exhibit a. Checked into a plush hotel in Madrid, pillow menu and all that shite, after dossing in Casas Particulares in cuba for last 8 days. I promptly tip a cup of tea over myself.

[KMD7]

1 minute ago, Arthur Friedenreich said:

Exhibit a. Checked into a plush hotel in Madrid, pillow menu and all that shite, after dossing in Casas Particulares in cuba for last 8 days. I promptly tip a cup of tea over myself.

Ha!

I'm a bastard for the tea thing as well, in my case misjudging when reaching for the handle and pushing it off the table with my fingers instead. Ditto with plates and pots. 

[KMD7]

1 hour ago, ZonkoVille77 said:

My daughter is very clumsy. Walks into everything. Drops everything. Spills everything. Catches her fingers in zips, doors. She ran at me yesterday to give me a hug and managed to stumble and run straight into my knee giving herself a dead leg. She's 5 years of age and has already broken her arm twice. She has myself and the missus a nervous wreck.

When i was around her age I ran into a barbed wire fence and wrapped myself around it almost giving my mum a heart attack. Still have some faint scarring on my stomach.

 

 

[ZonkoVille77]

1 minute ago, KMD7 said:

When i was around her age I ran into a barbed wire fence and wrapped myself around it almost giving my mum a heart attack. Still have some faint scarring on my stomach.

 

 

 

Haha. You might need to change your username to Danger Mouse.

[Toxteth O'Grady]

2 hours ago, KMD7 said:

Ha!

I'm a bastard for the tea thing as well, in my case misjudging when reaching for the handle and pushing it off the table with my fingers instead. Ditto with plates and pots. 

And you wonder why Mary refers to you as "him, the oaf" and makes you kip in the garden.

[KMD7]

7 minutes ago, Toxteth O'Grady said:

And you wonder why Mary refers to you as "him, the oaf" and makes you kip in the garden.

She's resigned to it at this stage.  At least it gets me out of wrapping presents or putting up the Christmas tree 

[Pidge]

Threw a full mug of coffee around the room while working from home on Monday.

 

Looking forward to knocking over the wine at my new works Christmas party next week.

 

Fat handed twat

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

1 minute ago, Pidge said:

Threw a full mug of coffee around the room while working from home on Monday.

 

Looking forward to knocking over the wine at my new works Christmas party next week.

 

Fat handed twat

I once managed to swill myself when telling someOne about some dudes tattoo which was a set of legs with hairy armpit as the door hinge, without r aliasing I had a glass of wine in the extended hand which is managed to tip over my own head.