Premier League Round Up (Aug 18-19 2018)

[tlw content]

The main story of the weekend was United getting their arses handed to them by Brighton. Again. I’ll get to that in due course, but I’ll start with Saturday’s games first. 

 

Chelsea v Arsenal was certainly entertaining. It was also encouraging from our point of view watching how it all unfolded. There are both a bit shite right now. Chelsea at least have talent and therefore have every chance of getting better fairly quickly, but Arsenal's flaws aren't going to be fixed with the players they have.
 
Be honest, is there one Arsenal player you'd take for our squad? Ramsay is a good player, but the rest? Nah. Maybe that Maitland-Niles kid has a chance if he hasn't already been Wenger-ed, but that's basically it.
 
I honestly don’t think either of these could live with us at the moment. Arsenal in particular should be positively  shitting themselves at the idea of coming up against our flying machines. 

 

You want to defend on halfway then you need two things. A bit of pace in the backline, and people high up the pitch who can press. Arsenal are doing it with two fucking snails at centre half and Ozil and Aubameyeng charged with pressing the opposition. Amazing scenes. If they try that against us we’ll score ten. Not even kidding. 

 

Chelsea sliced through them at will, it was truly pathetic stuff from Arsenal. Pedro opened the scoring when Alonso was given acres to run in behind and pick out a low cross. No idea where Bellerin was. Probably picking a fight with someone from Arsenal Fan TV or chatting up some sort in the Nag’s Head with his boys Jevon and Rodders. 

 

Chelsea weren’t exactly water tight themselves though. Aubameyang missed a sitter from seven yards out and he paid a heavy price as less than a minute later Morata ran in behind Mustafi to score. Arsenal’s defensive line was a yard inside the Chelsea half when the pass was played. 

 

Mkhitaryan also missed a sitter, but unlike Aubameyeng he soon made amends with a low shot from 18 yards into the bottom corner. Chelsea’s new keeper got a hand on it and maybe should have saved it. Not really sure on that though as it was well struck and maybe he did well to even get near it? Hard to say. 

 

He got nowhere near Iwobi’s equaliser soon after though. Chelsea had been dominant yet Arsenal had created several great chances against them. It was 2-2 but could just as easily have been 4-4 as both defences looked garbage.

Isn’t it boss being able to sneer at other team’s defending without feeling like you’re lashing bricks from inside a greenhouse?
 
Iwobi then missed two more glorious chances before half time. The finishing was almost as bad as the defending. The mad thing was every single Arsenal attack was identical. Neat triangles out wide, someone getting in behind and cutting it back toward the penalty spot for runners into the box. They created SIX clear chances in the first half just by doing that.  

 

The second half wasn’t quite as open and yielded just the one goal, the winner, for Chelsea, as substitute Hazard crossed for Alonso put one past Cech from close range. 

 

Bit surprising to see Ross Rodwell getting games for Chelsea. He played well too in fairness. Ruben Loftus-Cheek can’t even get on the bench at the moment, which is odd as all summer I kept hearing about how he was the reincarnation of Ruud Gullit. 

 

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[Razoray]

West Ham buying 8 new players. Mark Noble trotting around the pitch with the captain's armband doing fuck all. Same as it ever was

[sir roger]

The only decent tackle Noble has thrown in for a few years was on that pitch invader.

[Paul]

*Tees one up for lads, even though it’s really a straight question*

 

How many “boys” have you got these days, Dave?

[Anubis]

Puncheon has been well jibbed.

[tokyojoe]

Great read Dave, hilarious.

[William_Ulsterman]

 

 

I don't think I'll get my wish though, he'll be gone by Christmas sadly.

its great! they will fall into a cycle of new managers none of them up to expectations throw half a billion at the problem and just become more irrelevant. about time too!.

[The Guest]

Dave, you need to start watching the United games. You need to get the full experience. The meltdown from Mourinho is going to be something to remember.

[Trumo]

*Tees one up for lads, even though it’s really a straight question*

 

How many “boys” have you got these days, Dave?

 

Careful with your answer Dave. Yewtree were probably monitoring here while the server was down.

[TheBitch]

*Tees one up for lads, even though it’s really a straight question*

 

How many “boys” have you got these days, Dave?

 

Paul, what are your thoughts on "Big Shexy"?

[aws]

Dave, you need to start watching the United games. You need to get the full experience. The meltdown from Mourinho is going to be something to remember.

Don't do it, Dave. Stick to standard TLW rules - only watch them after they've lost or if they're two down with less than 5 minutes to go.

[The Guest]

Don't do it, Dave. Stick to standard TLW rules - only watch them after they've lost or if they're two down with less than 5 minutes to go.

Bloody glory hunters.

[Tj hooker]

Fabulous read funny as fuck great to have these back

[dave u]

Puncheon has been well jibbed.

 

He's fallen out of favour but it won't take much for him to get back in my good books. 

 

*Tees one up for lads, even though it’s really a straight question*

 

How many “boys” have you got these days, Dave?

 

Enough. I see that Junior Hoilett is back in the top flight now with Cardiff. He was one of my boys a few years back. 

 

Charlie Austin, Zaha, Deeney, Hoilett, Puncheon, Amrabat (is he back at Watford or did he leave?)... loads of others I've probably forgotten too.

 

Old School Troy is probably my current favourite though, and I'm probably dropping Zaha after him getting mouthy with Milner the other night and generally just seeming a bit too full of himself of late.