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Alisson Becker

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Can't believe I said ages ago we should sign him purely so we could sing an Elvis Costello song for him and the owners took note and broke the world transfer record for a goalkeeper. Let's hope he's actually good at the goalkeeping bit as well.

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Wasn’t too fussed at first, wasn’t overly impressed with his performances against us and in the World Cup, thought the price was too high. But fuck it, having looked into him a bit more, I’m fully on board. He’s gonna he absolutely fucking boss, literally the perfect goalkeeper for us, just like Keïta is the perfect midfielder and Salah, Firmino and Mané are the perfect front 3 and Van Dijk is the perfect centre half. Yeah, time to end the drought.

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