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On 31/01/2020 at 15:56, Stouffer said:

Bumcunt, you've just twinged my wang.

 

I've never fancied a cruise before but you might have just sold it to me.

 

I used to do Poole/Portsmouth to Bilbao/Santander quite often and loved being on the boat. Food was ace, pub quiz on an evening and smokes were only 2 notes a pack.

 

We were looking a the usual Spanish 10 nights all inclusivo for the end of August and it's well expensive this year.

 

Pipe me en board sailor boy.

Don't get the impression it's one of those mad Santander boats.  Yes there's duty free, and I missed the big deal on the first day when they sold out of Golden Virginia which was going at £10 for 10 packets, but booze isn't cheap, though you can catch some deals on-board.  

 

Each cruise line is different, but with Royal Carribean they sell you drinks packages which cost a fortune UNLESS you're willing to get value out of it, which would mean some heavy drinking.  About £40 a day, BUT...if you share your cabin with another adult, then they HAVE to buy it as well!  So that's £80 a day worth of booze you need to consume in order to break even.  Now, you can make that work, you can get some very high end spirits and wines with that, stuff like Grey Goose, all included.  Also, you also get unlimited free premium coffees, Coca-cola, cocktails, mocktails, bottled water.  That said, you can also get really nice free coffee, and free juices, so it's never appealed to me. 

 

You could get 7 nights, from Southampton to La Coruno and back, at the end of August for £1850, but that's not including drinks.  That would be an interior room, with a virtual balcony (massive tv screen in your room that shows a balcony view).

 

If you fancy flying somewhere first to pick up the cruise, you could get 7 nights for £1,230 from Venice, around the Greek Isles. Smaller boat than the big boys, able to get in and around the islands, but still top, top class. 

 

Would be brilliant at that time of the year, you won't be in your cabin, you'll be out on deck sunbathing and eating and swimming. 

 

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On 25/01/2020 at 04:01, Colonel Bumcunt said:

Last October I went on a cruise with my family, and my mum and dad.  It was sort of a joint-funding effort, they did most of the heavy-lifting as a sort of nice family get-together to celebrate my 40th and my dad's 70th, so we all decided to go on a cruise together.

 

I was apprehensive about it, sometimes have inner ear problems, so I was worried about the constant moving underneath, but nothing happened at all.

 

In fact, I loved every single second of it.  We went from Southampton to Madeira, the Canaries, and then we were delayed by a massive group of storms which meant we had overnight stays in Malaga and Lisbon on the way back and two extended days, but still meant crossing the Bay of Biscay in 7-8m seas in between massive storms.  May not sound a lot, but that's ON TOP OF the normal wave height, which is often monstrous.  But apart from the odd bang and mad lurch to the side, it was ok, no sick-feeling, just a momentary "wtf", and then fine, back to sleep. 

 

But that was insane weather, in fact, the cruise tv channel meteorologist said the only other time in recent memory where they have ever extended a cruise by 2 days was due to a typhoon or hurricane.  

 

Anyway, back to the cruise itself.  Fuck me.  I've never known anything so amazing in my life.  The food was a fucking joke.  All day, fucking amazing, at your leisure, you fat cunt, you just walk into the restaurant in your shorts and t-shirt and just pick up plates of shit and leave half of it, like some fucking dickhead.  

 

But aside from the food, wow, it's just too much.  Such a great time, I was watching the rugby world cup in a Jacuzzi while we were coming into Madeira one morning.  Just watching Madeira appear from the mist of the open seas, and glancing up at the 25ft screen in the pool area, sound up, at about 9am, with a fresh coffee in my hand. 

Then get in the pool with the kids, maybe go to the arcade for a bit with them, maybe go cinema, maybe go have a beer, maybe ice-skating, yes, fucking ice-skating.  I was watching PL footy at the bar on American channels, and it was on the tv in our room.  You also get first run films on your TV's, so we were bored of watching Spider-Man, Yesterday, Toy Story 4, and that was 3 months ago.

 

Anyway, why am I saying this now?

 

Because I've just booked to go again, same trip this October, but this time with a bigger ship, from Southampton, and it's costing just £2,300.

I can't believe it's costing this little. 

I urge you, if you haven't had a cruise before and you're considering a holiday with the family this winter, give the Royal Carribean Cruises a look at the moment.  It starts off expensive on the site and then when you progress it gives you the final bill, and the kids have gone for £69 each.

 

This fucker has dodgems on it.

Haven’t enjoyed it since they started letting the fucking riff raft aboard.

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22 hours ago, sir roger said:

Was going to Las Vegas at the end of April but looks like a goner , also due to go for a dental procedure to Turkey on 2nd April , but still in the balance.

My missus has just cancelled her and her sister in law's holiday to Memphis and the Elvis themed excursions.

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31 minutes ago, Colonel Bumcunt said:

Anyone starting to think about one?

 

Yes, yes, I know.  

No. Can’t afford a holiday. A Bounty and a can of Lilt is about as exotic as it gets for me.

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I'm not even considering it until there's been a prolonged period of normality, I realise that may be never but otherwise it's not worth the hassle and uncertainty.

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10 days in Croatia, spending most of it at the beach and it’s unbelievably relaxing after not getting proper holidays last year. Feels like the first time I’ve switched off in nearly two years.

 

Had an odd experience with the border guard who kept saying Brexit to me as if it meant something. Fortunately his boss came over and explained that as I’m resident in Hungary and have an EU Digital Covid passport, the U.K. entry rules don’t apply to me. Haven’t seen someone that pissed off with letting me into his country since the last time I flew into JFK

 

 

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1 hour ago, PestiRed said:

10 days in Croatia, spending most of it at the beach and it’s unbelievably relaxing after not getting proper holidays last year. Feels like the first time I’ve switched off in nearly two years.

 

Had an odd experience with the border guard who kept saying Brexit to me as if it meant something. Fortunately his boss came over and explained that as I’m resident in Hungary and have an EU Digital Covid passport, the U.K. entry rules don’t apply to me. Haven’t seen someone that pissed off with letting me into his country since the last time I flew into JFK

 

 

I arrived in the UK yesterday. They didn't bother checking my vaccine status, my covid test, or my passenger locator form.

 

 

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1 hour ago, Jairzinho said:

I arrived in the UK yesterday. They didn't bother checking my vaccine status, my covid test, or my passenger locator form.

 

 

That would explain why European border guards freak out when they see a U.K. passport

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20 minutes ago, PestiRed said:

That would explain why European border guards freak out when they see a U.K. passport

Yeah. I'm expecting a slightly different approach when I return.

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1 hour ago, Jairzinho said:

Yeah. I'm expecting a slightly different approach when I return.


Got to admit that I’m a bit concerned about the bollocks I’ll face when re-entering Hungary despite having all the right papers. Problem with land borders is that you’re often the first case that they encounter 

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10 minutes ago, PestiRed said:


Got to admit that I’m a bit concerned about the bollocks I’ll face when re-entering Hungary despite having all the right papers. Problem with land borders is that you’re often the first case that they encounter 

Yes, I suppose I benefit from living in a country that very much needs Brits.

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